Threshold of Shadows
by CrystalCucu-Mariarty
Summary: A continuation from Shadow Kiss. The mission was a success. Dimitri not turned, but not unharmed. With the threat of the Strigoi gone the Academy begins to settle back into normality, but things are not as peaceful as they seem. There is a storm brewing and one thing becomes very clear: not everything that is to be feared is outside the Academy... RxR
1. Chapter 1

**Threshold of Shadows**

 _A continuation from Shadow Kiss. The mission was a success. Dimitri not turned, but not unharmed. With the threat of the Strigoi gone the Academy begins to settle back into normality, but things are not as peaceful as they seem. There is a storm brewing and one thing becomes very clear: not everything that is to be feared is outside the Academy... RxR_

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy or anything surrounding it (but I do own this plot :D)**

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… _Her face was veil'd, yet to my fancied sight_

 _Love, sweetness, goodness, in her person shin'd_

 _So clear as in no face with more delight._

 _But Oh! as to embrace me she inclin'd,_

 _I wak'd, she fled, and day brought back my night._

[John Milton, Sonnet 23]

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RPOV

' _The third Strigoi grabbed Dimitri. In all the time I'd known him, I'd never seen Dimitri falter. He was always faster, always stronger than everyone else. Not this time. This Strigoi had caught him by surprise, and that slight edge was all it had taken.'_

I had done a lot of reckless things in my life – from putting hair removal cream in Stan's shampoo to running away from the Academy to protect my best friend, I was on for some sort of record. But, out of them all, and believe me when I say there was a lot, this certainly topped the list. Aforesaid Guardian Alto had tried, and failed in doing so, to hold me back, subsequently receiving something that I wanted to do for a _very_ long time. And might I add what a good right hook it was. His moment of distraction was my moment of opportunity; I plunged myself back into that shrouded abyss, not particularly caring that I could die at any given moment. I only had one mission and I was determined to see it through.

The indecision that had graced my mother's features only seconds before vanished the moment I decided to run back towards the mob of Strigoi before us. She ran after me. Something vaguely resembling satisfaction surfaced in that moment, over, of course, the sheer terror and horror of seeing the man I loved being pulled to the ground by some merciless bastard. I could see that blonde monster through the shadows. He had released Dimitri: self-preservation had his attention distracted towards the few guardians who now were flooding back into the caves. He looked pretty pissed to have been interrupted, but was not nearly as pissed as me. With the sun fast approaching its demise, I knew had to move quickly. I gripped the cool metal of my stake and saw the last of the sun's rays flash against the silver hilt. In a speed I didn't know I possessed, I quickly disposed of the first Strigoi in front of me: his heart was so foolishly open to my advance and I struck without mercy. Another came and another and another. I killed them all. I felt like the monsters I was dispatching but I could not stop myself. All my anger for the world, for my mother, for myself, it was all unleashed upon this heartless cavern of sinners. Removing my stake from the decapitated throat of a female Strigoi, I turned my attention to the blonde one; his lecherous smile taunting me, teasing me. Any fatigue that I had gained from the previous battles was forgotten as I readied my attack.

Only I never got to unleash it.

My mother, having spent a good while wrestling with a Strigoi twice her size, had finally won victory – using her speed and entire body weight to shove the un-dead beast into the cave wall. The impact of such a force was too much. It crumbled. The echo pulsed through the narrow passage and ruptured through the stone. Dhampir and Strigoi alike ceased and warily looked about themselves for a second before the first stone fell.

The others didn't wait for an invitation. The cave began collapsing in on itself; Strigoi bolted out only to be met with awaiting steel of the guardians that lingered outside. Panicked, those that remained retreated back into the cave complex, all the while more rocks kept tumbling down. I staggered backward, watching as the blonde Strigoi vanish into the depths of the stony earth. Another rock-fall. I heard my mother's voice like a bass line to the roaring melody of the cascading cave screaming my name, urging me out. I found myself choking on the dust, my vision obscuring and my strength failing. I tried to guide myself towards my mother's voice, but the noise of the collapsing cave left me disoriented and confused.

But through my haze, I saw him.

With all the chaos that surrounded me, I had blanked my original intent in running back in here. Dimitri lay, slumped on the ground on his back surrounded by collapsing rock. I struggled towards him quickly, tugging against his limp arm. When had he fallen unconscious? Not important. I gripped his hand and tried to move him, but he would not budge.

" _Come on, come on, come on,_ " I urged, chanting, _begging_ , him to move. The cave continued to crumble around us, the dust of shatter rock dominating the slowly depleting air. _"Please!"_ I screamed and I felt him move. I glanced down in my shock, hoping he had awoken, only to see another pair of hands gripping onto his other hand. I followed the arm up but the revelation did nothing to end my confusion.

"Hathaway, move!" the unmistakable voice of Guardian and tormentor Stan Alto bellowed through the dusty haze as the very same man helped me lift the man I loved up from the group to carry through the imploding cave. In that moment, I found wider sense had failed me – I was just running on autopilot. In this case, the running was quite literal: Stan and I sprinted as fast as we could with Dimitri's limp form hung between us, my shoulders aching under his weight and causing my feet to drag across the ground. They cried out with every thundering stomp against the solid cave floor, the shockwaves creating shattering ripples up my worn calves. As a result, both I and my feet were separately relieved when we reached the veritable cushioned surface of the grass. Dimitri still hung limply between us, but he was safe from the horrors of that cave and really, that was all that mattered. I dared to look behind us and watched as the last of the rocks fell, effectively sealing the cave shut and trapping the Strigoi inside.

But I could not bring myself to be relieved. Not until we were at least over the threshold of the wards and even still, deep into the heart of the Academy.

I could see as Stan struggled under Dimitri's weight, but he forced himself forward, a grunt escaping from his lips as we finally stumbled over the ward boundary.

The relief that came over me was indescribable and incomparable; if I wasn't so immersed in my own autopilot, I would've probably collapsed there and then. But my legs kept going, only faltering when Stan's grip loosened and Dimitri was plucked from my grasp by the oncoming medics. I hadn't noticed how close we now were to the academy: my vision slowly came back from its focused haze to see the concerned expression of both Alberta and my mother, both of whom looked as though they were about to march over and give me a very long and detailed lecture on what I had just done.

Sensing that my window was brief, and getting shorter by the moment, I seized the opportunity and turned to Stan, who stood hunched over with his hand resting on his weary back. "Thank you." I breathed through as I continued to gasp for air, pretty sure it was the only time I ever said anything that wasn't sarcastic to the man.

He looked over at me with a frown, most likely thinking the very same thing, before exhaling and shaking his head, waving of my gratitude. "That man has saved my ass too many times to mention."

I don't know what surprised me more: whether it was that Stan had a moral conscious or that he had just said the word 'ass'. Whatever my surprise may have been, it was certainly short lived as Stan had barely managed an acknowledging nod before I was ambushed, though this time, not by Strigoi.

"Rosemarie Hathaway!" When my mother raised her arms, I honestly thought she was going to slap me (add another injury to the previous black eye). What I did not expect was a hug. "Don't you ever do that again…" she said, a tremble breaking through her usually steadfast Glaswegian accent. So shocked I was to find myself in this situation, I froze and just stood there as she held me tightly, unyielding and unwavering. I knew that our relationship was on the mend, but I hadn't realised we were at the 'hugging' stage. Yet I did not begrudge her, I couldn't. After a moment more than I was comfortable with, she pulled back and took a deep breath, closing her eyes before reopening them to find mine. "We will be discussing this later. For now, go make sure you are okay."

In her complete defense, this was not an unreasonable request. The fact she had taken some restraint on the matter only made me more sure of it. Not to mention that even I knew what I had done was reckless. And so, I did not dispute. Nodding, I headed towards the infirmary without protest.

The Academy was still in quite a state. Even walking through, the chaos around us was clear. Attempting to focus my gaze, I tried to find Mason again - desiring to know if it had all been worth it. But he did not come. If this was of his choice or my weakness, I could not say, but the latter was in my power to address and so I did.

Dr. Olendzki greeted me with her usual smile, one which harboured a balanced mix of affection and disbelief, but today - despite her efforts to conceal it - that balance was upset.

"You heard, huh?" I said once my voice and breathing had returned to a vague vestige of normality.

She did not look up from stitching my arm where a tumbling rock had sliced through the flesh and left a jagged wound, but replied all the same. "Yes."

 _Of_ _course._ I rolled my eyes. "Word travels fast." I muttered a little more resentfully than I meant. Thankfully, she did not take offense. "I take it you disapprove." I said it as a statement, having a feeling that this would be the general consensus.

Still she continued to look at her stitches, but her response did surprise me. "Of saving another life? No." she said, looking me in the eye as she cut the excess thread off. "But of risking your life in the process…" she trailed off.

I sighed. "I couldn't watch him die." I said before I could properly assess the consequences. My love for Dimitri, however real and good it was to me, was still very much illegal in the eyes of the Academy, so any mention of it was strictly forbidden.

"You care for him."

My head snapped up and I looked at the good doctor in fear. _Shit._

Seeing the look on my face, she smiled. "Not like that." I resisted the sigh of relief at her ignorance of the matter. "He is your mentor and you are a compassionate person, Rose: no matter how much you may deny it. Of course you could not watch your mentor die."

I nodded, staying quiet for a moment more as Dr. Olendzki applied the band-aid. I dared to ask. "How is he doing?"

Her intake of breath was noted and I felt a rush of despair run through me. "Officially, I am not at liberty to say."

"Unofficially?" I pressed a little further, reading into her implication.

She swallowed. "I cannot say anything for sure."

I felt I could burst into tears, but realising that it would do nothing for me, I elected to sulk instead. Dr. Olendzki finished up and let me go and I decided to avoid my mother as a more pressing issue came into my mind.

Literally.

I felt Lissa's fear flood into my skull. It hit me with a force that rivalled the darkness. She was scared, nay, _terrified._ Clearly the news of my unformulated plunge back into the cave had reached her periphery and out of the subsequent horror, her mind reached for our bond in a desperate attempt to draw me in. I felt my step increasing and soon found myself in a full out sprint across the Academy grounds, completely ignoring Dr. Olendzki's instruction to 'take it easy'. I bolted, no hesitation or restriction in my movements, towards the common room, pushing past the looks and whispers from the students who saw my approach. Within the common room sat a few huddled groups, one of which contained my friends: Christian, Eddie and Lissa. No sooner had I entered the the threshold was I immediately engulfed in my best friend's embrace.

"Rose," she whispered, holding to me tight.

Looking around, I could see the lingering stares around us and I pulled out of her arms to wave them away. "Oi! Do you mind?" I shouted and they scattered. I felt a wave of heat spread from where Dr. Olendzki had stitched my arm and I snapped my head round to see Lissa's hand extended over it. "Hey, you don-"

"Shut up, Rose." she said, her voice wavering with both concentration and tears. "Let me help you."

I did, but caught her hand as she was about to pull away. "Hey, I'm okay. We're all okay."

She broke, a sob escaping her lips, she brought me into her arms. "When I heard, I thought…"

"I know. I'm sorry." Behind Lissa, I saw both Eddie and Christian. The former took me into his arms as Lissa released me, whilst the latter remained where he was; his hands found his pockets and he shifted nervously on his feet.

"So, you really ran back into a cave full of Strigoi?" he said.

I sat down on one of the chairs and all but Christian joined me. I nodded and replied as evenly as I could. "Yeah: sort of an impulse decision."

He scoffed. "Clearly."

"Christian!" Lissa chastised.

"What?" he said. "You think Rose was the only one affected by what happened in Spokane? We nearly died at the hands of those lunatics, and you ran _back_." his voice not hiding his disbelief.

I swallowed, feeling the weight of my actions grow and grow as the minutes ticked on and it was certainly not a feeling I enjoyed. Spokane was still a frequent acquaintance of my thoughts, exacerbated by the infrequent sightings of Mason's ghost, and each time I found myself falling deeper in what I could only describe as a pit of my own emotional turmoil: one which I very much struggled to get out of. Yet this fear of what had happened in Spokane was matched and sometimes over-powered by my fear of losing Dimitri. "I couldn't let him die, Christian…" I said.

Christian responded with a nod and a sigh, settling down to bury his hands into his palms. "Yeah. How is Belikov?"

At this, Eddie perked up. "You ran back for Guardian Belikov? Jesus Christ."

I frowned. "Why'd you think I went back in there?"

Eddie shook his head. "I heard it was that you went on a mad killing spree. I didn't believe it." he assured.

"Thanks." I muttered with a slight smile. "And I don't know." Turning back to Christian. "Dr. Olendzki wouldn't tell me anything." I suddenly found myself back in that pit.

Lissa put her hand over mine and drew closer. "The important thing is that you are out and so is he - it's his best chance in the hospital."

Feeling the sombre mood within me rise, I decided on a subject change. Looking around, I frowned and asked. "Where's Adrian?"

"Never far from you, little dhampir."

Well, there was that answer.

Rolling my eyes, I turned around and retorted back with no little sarcasm. "Ha, funny."

Adrian smiled, but there was a certain edge to his expression that conveyed his worry. "I hear you ran back for your mentor. You okay?"

"Yeah, just a few bruises." I said.

"Good" was his reply which came a little too quickly to go unnoted. I commented not and accepted his hug. I found my senses smothered under the scent of his cloves cigarettes as he held me tight; in spite of his grip, he courteously let me go without protest and spoke again. "As much as I like to see you, I am afraid I come with message from above…" he said, trailing off a little.

I smiled. "Alberta?"

"Mhmm." he hummed.

I sighed. "Well, I suppose I knew it was coming." I said.

"You'll be fine, Rose." Lissa reassured, not needing the bond to know where my troubled thoughts had turned.

I nodded. "Thanks, Liss." I said with a smile. "I'll try not to get kicked out."

"Rose…" she said, sighing over the word.

I waved them all goodbye and made a start on the journey to Alberta's office. Adrian offered to walk me, but I managed to shut that down before it could go any further. As much as I was in need of a little levity, Adrian's particular bland of senseless flirtation was certainly not on the cards. Though it certainly countered the nervousness which both Christian and Eddie exhibited even as I left the room. I sighed again. I mean, I couldn't really blame them. I couldn't blame anyone, save perhaps the merciless mob of Strigoi which had rendered us all thus. _Bastards._ I thought as I rounded another corner. I caught sight of Jesse Zeklos and immediately spun around and took the longer route to Alberta's office.

You know, the Academy's policy of having 'most' disciplinary issues handled by Kirova, as I discovered during the course of this year, was up for some serious debate; particularly as I found myself more and more in Alberta's office. Granted, the last time was for a _massive_ oversight with regard to the field experience, but there was no denying the increase in the frequency that I frequented her office.

She sat as she usually did: stern and focused behind her desk which in itself was spotless to the point where the polish on the wood shone so well that in actually reflected the light that glared from the almost interrogatory lights from above. Her eyes latched onto me in a second and she straightened up, rising to leave her seat and come round where two chairs sat in opposition.

Damn. This was not going to be good.

"Apologies for keeping you up so late," she said once settled in the chair. It was encroaching on nearly ten in the morning, but I had barely noticed. The Academy was so shaken up I highly doubted if anyone was sleeping. "I promise to be as quick as I can." she assured all the same. "What you did, Rose, was beyond reckless." she said flatly, finding no need for the false pretence of 'Miss Hathaway' as my prefered name had just the same kick with eerie stoicism of her tone. I felt my stomach churn as I knew of the onslaught that was about to come. "You ran back into extreme danger, after having assaulted a member of staff and a fellow guardian, putting not only your life, but the lives of others in severe peril, all in stark opposition to a direct order." she surmised with no little severity. "In normal circumstances, an action such as this would be met with the highest form of punishment: complete and irreversible expulsion from the Academy with no chance of a reference or graduation to be placed in desk-bound occupation for the foreseeable future."

I found myself paralyzed to my seat, praying to any and all deities for a 'but' to come out of Alberta's mouth.

"However,"

Not quite a 'but', but I took it.

"Rose Hathaway, you are not a normal circumstance. I do not say this to flatter you, nor does it let you off this abominable act of disobedience, but your overall situation has put you in a category wherein I believe it would do more harm than good to bench you from the duty of safety and protection which we are called to do indefinitely. As a result, you will not be expelled: you will continue attending classes so that you graduate, but under the watchful supervision of a Guardian at all times. Your movements will be monitored, you will be allowed limited recreational pursuits, all of which will be supervised and all in the confidence that this will provoke a better degree of self-control, restraint and ability to follow orders. Are we clear?"

I still felt paralyzed, but managed a shaky nod.

Alberta's stern expression softened, but only a little. She leaned back against her chair and closed her eyes. "Good." Reopening them, she met my gaze again and put aside the my file that had rested in her lap. "Off the record, I understand why you did what you did. And further off the record, I appreciate it: Guardian Belikov is not just an asset, but a dear friend of us all her at St. Vladimirs. But you must realise the severity of what you did today: how such actions are the very antagonist of our work."

"You honestly think I don't?" The words slipped out before I could stop them.

I saw Alberta smile. "No, not for a second. Unfortunately, this was the best we could do: we cannot allow this kind of disobedience to be tolerated, and I can only imagine how much worse it will be when word of this reaches Tatiana's Minister for Education." her face fell into her palm and the exhaustion that she truly felt broke through her stoic mask.

I nodded again. A vague feeling of _déjà vu_ ran through me as Dimitri's voice echoed in my skull. _Take what you can get._ I swallowed, surprised and a little perturbed at how well my mind you mimic his beautiful Russian lilt, making it seem like he was right there with me. Only he wasn't. He was on the other side of the school, concealed behind white coats and clinical procedure, while I sat in utter ignorance as to the development of his condition or if he still even had a condition to develop. It occurred to me that Alberta might know. As Captain of the guardians around here, she was bound to know of what state Dimitri was in. I hesitated for a moment, asking myself if I even _wanted_ to know, before mentally slapping myself silly: of course I wanted to know - I couldn't just sit in blissful ignorance and just pretend he was fine, however good my ability to mimic his accent was. And so, I leaned forward and dared to broach to subject. "How is Dimitri? I mean, Guardian Belikov." I corrected, hoping that proper decorum would further my case.

Alberta cast her gaze back towards me and considered my question. Her brow furrowed as she sat for a good moment in contemplative silence before resolving: "Guardian Belikov is naturally both strong and resilient, however his present condition is far from good." she said and I felt my heart skip a beat as I realised she wasn't finished:

"So far that they have had to put him in a coma."

* * *

 **Hello my dear comrades in Comrade :D**

 **So here we are - back with Romitri. Whoo! Don't get me wrong, I loved writing for Janine and Abe (so much that I am actually working up a Post-LS sequel, if anyone is interested, which may end up running alongside this own), but it is going to be nice to get back into Rose's head. Plus, I do love writing for Dimitri a lot, so this should be good :) Unfortunately, our dear comrade is going to be undergoing quite a beating in this story, but don't worry: it gets better (or it should at least :3). That does remind me though - what did you think? Like it? Love it? Hate it? Should I continue? As you can probably tell, I am going straight in with this one, no dallying around with intros and whatnot. Actually, over the course of my FanFic writing, I have actually realised that I tend to write with a theme in mind and this one (in my head at least :3) is centring on restrictions, inhibitions and how to overcome them, as well as a nice bit of megalomania which is always good ;)**

 **Oh dear, waffling on a bit xD Well, I hope that this has drawn some of you in and I really hope you enjoy the little reimagining I have got planned. Should I end up continuing, I will let you know though: JUNE. June is the month of** _ **pain and suffering**_ **for me and is approaching fast. I have my A Level exams through all of June so probably will not be writing in that time, but might for the purposes of sanity and procrastination. I probably shouldn't be starting any new stories/projects, but meh: writing has always been a real source of essentially therapy for me, so sod common sense - let's do this! xD**

 **As ever, here's wishing you all the very best,  
Mariarty **


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy or anything surrounding it (but I do own this plot :D)**

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RPOV

The Academy took its time finding its feet. Understandable, really, given that we had just underwent what was perhaps its biggest Strigoi attack in the history of St. Vlads, but this was apparently unacceptable to our lord and master, Tatiana Ivashkov. Unsurprisingly, word had reached her of the attack and after the suitable degree of concern was given, she was quick to interject her 'help'.

Which included, as it turned out, firing Kirova.

Yeah, you heard right - Kirova was out. Well, not entirely out. She had called an assembly of the entire school and delivered the news that she would be stepping down from the position of headmistress for an 'overdue return to teaching'. She managed to make the whole thing sound remarkably voluntary, but everyone knew she was lying. Well, _Lissa_ knew she was lying and whether it was the bond or my own mundane abilities to read character, I also suspected that a forceful removal was at work and was surprised when I had to explain my reasoning to Eddie on the way out of the hall.

Of course, Kirova's replacement did not come from inside the Academy, much to the chagrin of many a long-serving teacher looking to capitalize on, voluntary or not, Kirova's departure. It actually provided a pretty decent source of entertainment for particularly Christian and I as we watched as many teachers scooted towards the front of their seats in anticipation only to be shot down by the swift introduction of Kirova's replacement. Eugene Lazar was his name: though, of course, we were introduced to him as 'Mr Lazar' and it was only later on, and after a bit of unauthorised digging, that we learned of his first name. He was a tall man, early fifties perhaps so the former Moroi-sleekness had grown a little stout over the years. He had a voice that bellowed even as he spoke normally which was both in equal part fascinating and terrifying, such that it made me jump every time he started a new sentence. But these were all minor additions to his character: the most important one was, of course, that he was royal. A royal spy from the royal Queen to appease the royal morons who had been emailing in and, in some cases, turning up to take their children away because St. Vladimirs was simply no long safe. This was ridiculous, in my opinion: made even more so by the fact that a few brave guardians actually went back to the cave during daylight hours to survey any potential hazards that still lingered. Upon finding none, they returned and informed everyone, but even this did not quell the palpitant parents of St. Vlads.

In any case, I was happy for the distraction.

Alberta was true to her word and I was being followed around by one Guardian Killian O'Hara, or 'Hazza' as I had taken to calling him, full in the knowledge that it pissed him off. Perhaps it was a little mean as he was nice enough, especially to look at. He was no Dimitri Belikov, not by a long shot, but Killian O'Hara had some good points rocking for him: in his mid-twenties, around 6"2", well built with brown hair, highlighted by red flecks, that curled nicely on the top of his head and extended down into a controlled stubble which lined the contour of his jaw and framed his lips. He also had muted green eyes which told me one of his parents was probably an Ivashkov, but the Irish accent told me he probably grew up with the other one. And he was pleasant, funny almost. There was no pretence of fear and stoicism, just quite a friendly guy. Clearly what had happened was Alberta had put forward the notion of my supervision and every other guardian in the room just point blank refused. Killian, in his good nature, took one for the team and was attempting to make the best of situation for the both of us and I appreciated that, even if I didn't show it.

"Whoah, mate! I don't think you really have to follow me in here…" I said, approaching the girls toilets.

He hesitated. "Not voluntarily…" he said, eyeing the door before him.

I stared at him, dumbfounded. "You're kidding."

He grimaced. "I wish I was."

I sighed and stepped forward. "Listen, I'm just going to pee - I promise I won't get in any Strigoi-killing situations where I could disobey orders and get you in trouble." He hesitated again and I groaned. "Oh, would you just decide - I really need to pee."

"Alright, calm down! I'll stay here."

"Thanking you." I said, pushing the door open and grinning at my victory, but grimacing at how long it had taken: the resulting facial contortion was enough for Lissa to frown and comment.

"Are you alright?"

"Fine, Guardian Leprechaun out there took his time deciding whether or not he was joining us."

She scrunched up her nose. "Really?"

"Really." I said, heading towards one of the cubicles. Lissa shot me a funny look. "What? I do actually need to pee."

She laughed and rolled her eyes. I entered the cubicle and closed the door as she spoke again. "How are you coping?"

I sighed, leaning my head against the cubicle side. "Okay, all things considered. I mean, Hazza's not that bad, but I am not enjoying having someone follow me around all day."

"No, I can't imagine you are. Does he really follow you everywhere."

I flushed and opened the door. "Everywhere." I affirmed. "Thankfully, I get to sleep by myself."

She laughed. "Yeah, I think he would be breaching a few laws if he came in then."

A cold shudder ran down my back as the harsh reality of those words sank in. I shook them off, unwilling to dwell on the legal implications of Dimtiri and I's night together in fear of tainted one of my most treasured moments with him. And so, I adopted a policy of ignorance and decided to change the subject. "Hey, enough about me, how are you coping with Tatiana breathing down your back?" I said as I dried my sopping hands on my shirt.

She huffed, clearly as thrilled by the subject as I was. In all honesty, compared to Tatiana's attempts at pushing Lissa into 'polite' society by dictating her every move, I was actually glad to have Killian the one following me around instead of the bloody Queen. "I'm honestly losing the plot with her." she muttered, scowling at the thought.

"Haha," I chuckled, "It's what you get when you make a deal with the Devil."

Lissa's face softened and she looked over at me with no little amusement. "That is exactly what Christian said."

I shrugged. "Well, clearly Pyro knows what he is talking about."

She sighed again. "You know, she had me visiting Court last week just so she could introduce me to some pompous officials."

I smiled. "Yeah, you may have already mentioned that one…"

She groaned. "See! I've been ranting so much I can't even keep track of who I've ranted at!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms in the air. "I'm sorry, I realise you probably don't want to hear all this…" she said, flopping herself against the tiled wall.

I shook my head, waving her off. "No, rant away." I was actually quite glad for the distraction.

She smiled. "Thanks, but I fear that if I keep going, it'll be all I'll do." she said before something else flashed in her eyes. "Oh, have you met Avery yet?"

Ah, Avery Lazar: the beautiful, if a little spoilt, daughter to our new headmaster. She had arrived at the same time as he did and seemed to be a permanent resident, despite having already graduated. Needless to say, there was suspicion in the air. "Your forced companion?" I asked, managing to keep a straight face.

Lissa scowled, but didn't deny it. From the bond I knew that Lissa had suspected Tatiana of sending Avery to be a sort of 'keeper' to her from the moment they were introduced. Though her natural kindness and politeness kept her from any actual discrediting. Avery had been, apparently, nothing but nice to Lissa, in spite of the ulterior motives which were suspected behind her befriending. Whilst it was off to a rocky start, Lissa tune began to change when she tapped into her empathy and realised a level of pain behind Avery's eyes. While they were not quite braiding each other's hair, Lissa was considering that perhaps she should not be outright avoiding her.

I, on the other hand, was not convinced.

"Don't be mean about her, Rose," Lissa chastised. "She probably had about the same amount of choice as I do."

"Such is the nature of regality." I said with a lick of bitterness.

"Quite." she replied, steadily and calmly. "We all have our battles."

"That we do, and I have one right now." I said, pointing towards the door.

Lissa frowned before widening her eyes and looking towards me. "Please don't tell me you have a lesson now."

I grinned. "Yup."

She sighed. "Unbelievable."

"Come on, Liss - is it really that surprising. Besides, it's only Stan." I said.

She scowled. "That doesn't make a difference."

"Sure it does. Besides, I thought you'd be glad to have a conversation free from Big Brother." I nodded towards the door.

"I thought you said he wasn't that bad…?" she teased.

"I lied." I said, teasing back.

She laughed and shook her head. "Well as happy as I am to see you, you need to get to lesson. I do not want to give anyone any more reason to expel you." she said.

"I thank you for your concern." I said with a mock bow.

She laughed before her features turned sombre. There was question in her mind, of that I knew, but she hesitated over voicing it, which was enough to give it away. I sighed and shook my head. "I don't know how he is."

"Sorry, I didn't want to-"

"I know." I said, a small smile curving on my lips. "I think I might go visit him though. That is, if I can convince Hazza to let me go."

Lissa put a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "You said it yourself, he is not unreasonable." I nodded, but my mood was still a bit down. Thinking of Dimitri was something I both never and always wanted to do: it was exhausting the emotional turmoil that came with it, yet still my heart yearned. I knew that Lissa was still in the dark about my true feelings and I honestly wished I could tell her, but even then she remained a figurative crutch, even with her ignorance. As was evident in that moment where she noted my somewhat dire mood and decided to lift me out of it. "You know, Guardian O'Hara may be more inclined to listen to you if you did as you were suppose to…" she said trailing off.

I smiled and flicked my eyes back to her. "Is this your way of kicking me out? This is a communal space, I'll have you know! You have no power in here!"

She rolled her eyes and laughed. "No, this is my way of keeping you out of trouble. Now go. Shoo!" she said, pushing me to the door.

I laughed. "Of course, _your majesty._ "

She gave me a playful glare. "I am going to slap you, if you are not careful…" she threatened.

Her sheer attempt at threatening me was enough to make me smile. "No you won't."

"Just go." she said, notably not denying it.

I laughed and pushed through the door. Killian was still standing there, but his arms were crossed and he had one eyebrow raised at my exit. "What?" I asked, feigning innocence.

"Just needed to pee, huh?" he said, falling into step with me. "That was a very long pee."

"What, were you timing? Because that is just creepy."

"No." he said simply. "But I did place a listening device in your pocket."

I nearly jumped out of my skin. "You what!?" I said, halting.

A wide grin appeared across his features at my reaction. "Just kidding."

I scowled. "Not funny, Hazza."

He shrugged. "I thought it was." He said as well fell back into step. "How is the Princess doing?"

I sent him a look. "This is you convincing me you weren't listening in?"

"No, just deducing." he said, looking back to where Lissa not-so-subtly left the toilet. "Don't worry: I won't say anything." he added, picking up on my expression.

"Gee, thanks." I muttered before adding. "Oh, and she is fine."

He smiled and we walked the rest of the way in silence.

Stan wasn't happy when I walked in forty-five minutes late to his lesson. He glared first at me and then at Killian who just shrugged and gave Stan a knowing look. Stan nodded, rolling his eyes, before continuing on with the lesson. _How had he…?_ I stared at the pair in amazement. Killian's display was almost impressive to watch: he was a first-rate actor. I realised that maybe I could perhaps pick up some tips from him on how to get myself out of trouble, or at least how to get myself out of detention, which was where I found myself at after the lesson had finished. It was the last one of the night, as well, which meant I was even more grumpy and intolerant of Stan's particular brand of chastisement than usual.

Since the attack, I had noticed a change in Stan's approach to me. He was still his usual dickish self, but there was a certain hesitancy in the man which was not there previously; It had grown since Spokane and escalating during the caves. If I didn't know any better, I would say that he was almost concerned for me, but my years of knowing the man told me that this was definitely not the case.

When I finally managed to escape his classroom, it was well into the night. Moroi and dhampir alike were done with their business and were slowly heading towards either bed or late night gatherings. This meant that the halls were relatively quiet, abandoned almost, and that Killian and I were pretty much on our own. With no-one around, I decided that now would be a pretty good time to broach the subject of my dear comrade.

"So…" I began.

There was a pause before I got his inquiring reply. "So?"

I cleared my throat and went on. "When it says 'limited recreational pursuits', what does that exactly entail…?" I said.

Killian looked over at me with a frown, scanning my features and trying to determine where I was going with this. "I should think the meaning pretty clear."

"For argument's sake, let's say it's not."

"Okay…" he said slowly, "It's a definite no to private parties and off-campus outings. Chats and gatherings are fine, but I must be present or at least in the vicinity." he said, his reference to the toilet conversation not lost on me at all. "But other than that...I'm not really sure what you are asking me, Rose." he admitted.

I sighed. "Hypothetically, would a visit to, say, a hospital count within the agreed terms of 'limited recreational pursuits'." I growing nervousness began developing in my stomach.

Revelation suddenly filled his countenance. He considered for a moment and my nervousness grew, but was put at slight ease when I saw him smile. "I did not see any mention of that being not okay, if you did want to go to a hospital. Hypothetically or otherwise." he said.

I could have honestly hugged him. "Seriously?"

He nodded. "I don't see the harm. But only if you remain on top form until then." he said, seizing upon the opportunity presented to him and giving me an ultimatum.

It didn't matter: I was pretty sure he could've asked me to run around naked and I would have done it to see Dimitri. But I elected to keep my thrill to myself and played it off coolly. "Thank you. You know, you ain't bad, Hazza."

He shook his head, but was smiling. "Likewise, Rozza."

 _Rozza._

 _Roza._

A cold chill ran through my body and all former glee evaporated. Killian did a double take as I halted, stopping beside me and inquiring after my well being. "Oh, hey, you okay?"

"Please don't call me that…" my voice came out shaky and unsure.

Killian did not bother to hide his surprise nor his concern given the abrupt change in my tone. If we had not been interrupted in that moment, I was sure he was going to press the issue. As it was, however, he was denied his explanation by the sound of raised voices.

It was interesting to note the differences in our approach of the situation: Killian's first instinct was to turn away and leave whoever it was in peace, whereas I went straight in to find out what was going on. He did try and pull me back, but I waved him off and he relented with a slight sigh, pressing himself to the wall beside me and peering over to see what was going on.

The voice I could have determined a mile away: it was Mr Lazar with his distinct and incomparable bellow. He was arguing with a young girl about my age; a Moroi and a beautiful one at that. That fact and the fact that I could see the similarities in the facial structure told me that this was Avery Lazar. And her whole demeanour told me that she was not happy.

"Oh, come on! It was just one drink!"

"That is not the point." Her father snapped. "I will not have you discredit this family anymore than you already have."

"If you're so worried, why not send me back to Court: get me out of this hell!" she countered.

"Oh, absolutely not." He laughed mirthlessly. "You are not being let out of my sight after the stunt you pulled."

"And so you'll keep me locked up? Ha! I'd like to see you try." she spat.

He sneered. "Do not tempt me, girl." he warned.

Avery's features darkened as she glared back. "You couldn't keep mom here. She ran all the way to Switzerland to get away from you..." she said with a leer.

Mr. Lazar flinched a little before his rage grew. I could see his hands tremble and his muscles tense to the point where even I was a little perturbed by him. Though, managed to calm himself enough with a shaky breath to diffuse the situation before it escalated. "Get out of my sight." he said, snatching the bottle that Avery held in her hand and walking away towards his office.

I felt a shudder run through me. _And I thought my parental relationship was bad…_ I think I may have just witnessed the mother-load of familial drama, and one that certainly put my petty grievances to shame. Avery, for her part, lingered for a moment longer before huffing and striding off down another corridor. I suddenly felt very bad for the poor girl and even a little guilty over my comments from earlier in the day. Perhaps I had misjudged her?

I waited until the coast was completely clear before emerging, Killian in tow and looking less than impressed. "Is this your idea of 'top form'?" he asked.

I shot him challenging look. "Hey, would you have just turned away if he had started hitting her?"

"Of course not," he said, "but he did not."

"He could have. Man, if that is how he treats his daughter, I dread to think what this school is in for…" I said.

"Mmmm." Killian hummed, but I doubted he even realised he did as his eyes seemed trained on his thoughts.

I decided to pick him up on it. "Mmmm, indeed."

He looked a little flustered to have vocalised that, but was quick to recover. "Right, well, we should be heading off. Guardian Jackson is guarding you this evening and she will be there already."

I sighed, but followed him nonetheless. "Is this really necessary? I mean, even you must admit it is a little over the top."

I expected him to agree, and so was rather shocked to discover I was mistaken. "Rose, if that is how you are thinking, I really don't think you realise the weight of what you did."

"I saved Dimitri." I said flatly, feeling that that particular point had been unfairly overlooked.

"Yes, but you disobeyed a direct order to do so. You were lucky that no-one was hurt running back after you." He said.

I sighed. "I know."

"I don't think you do." he replied.

I shot my head up, surprised and a little hurt. "You what?"

He shook his head. "I don't mean to offend you, Rose, but from the way you have been acting, I really don't think the magnitude of your actions has sunk in yet."

"What's that supposed to mean!?" I said, stopping and placing my hands on my hips.

He stopped too and turned to face me. "I mean you are finding loopholes in this arrangement and pressing on the boundaries, rather than accepting it for the punishment that it is. I allow it because, of course, it is alright to have a conversation with your best friend without me listening in, but, Rose, you need to understand why you are being punished, otherwise there is no point in it all." he said. His tone was not patronising, rather kind, but it held an authoritative, an almost fatherly, quality embedded within the Irish lilt.

I would have been angry with him is he was not so right. But I was not about to give him the satisfaction of acknowledgement. "I saved a life and at the cost of no more. Don't tell me you wouldn't disobey a direct order to save another life."

He continued to look at me sympathetically. "Did you know, for absolute certain, you would save him without losing either yours or someone else's life?"

I crossed my arms over my chest. "No, but can you ever?"

"It is a matter of probability and in this instance; the odds were very much against you."

I dropped my head down as I began to ponder on his words. "I couldn't let him die, Killian." I said, addressing him with his actual name. "Not without trying. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't try."

He nodded. "You respect him greatly." _Oh, I cared for him a lot more than that…_ "Tell me, what would Guardian Belikov say in this situation?"

I sighed, but found I was smiling. Dimitri would be in full-out Zen mode right now, saying exactly what Killian was but in a far more universal and, yes I daresay, pretentious way. I shook my head at the thought of my comrade's Russian lilt instead of Killian's Irish; his smile, his eyes, his everything. Good God, did I want him back. I returned my gaze to Killian, realising I hadn't actually given him a reply, but the look on his face told me that he had his answer. "Low blow, leprechaun." I said.

He chuckled. "Leprechaun, is it now?"

I shrugged and continued walking. "You are wearing green." I pointed out, nodding to his dark forest green duffle coat that he wore over his uniform when it was cold.

He looked down and shook his head, making a point of putting his hands in its pockets. "Was Guardian Belikov subject to this level of mockery?" A wide grin covered my face as I thought back to all the comments I had made at his expense. Killian laughed. "I'll take that as a yes."

A question formed in my mind and I glanced over at Killian to ask it. "Did you know Dimitri?"

Killian shook his head. "Knew of Guardian Belikov, yes, but I did not know him personally. I had seen him around, but there are quite a few of us here, so we didn't really talk at all."

"Huh," I said. I just assumed that Dimitri knew everyone, especially after the whole 'Art' situation, but maybe there was a limit and I had found it.

Killian gave me a funny look at my comment, but elected not to develop it.

We rounded the corner up to my floor as I tentatively inquired again. "So, are we still on for the hospital visit…?"

I could see the corners of his lips curve upward, but he remained moderately neutral. "It is still a yes, _but_ ," he said, noting the look my face, "top form, Hathaway."

I nodded. "Yes, Guardian O'Hara." I said.

He smiled fully and nodded. "Good. That means four o'clock sharp tomorrow."

I groaned inwardly but nodded all the same. Since Dimitri was a little incapacitated, what with being in a coma and all, Killian had been given the delightful task of carrying on my training. He was actually pretty good and followed a slightly more gentle regime which I was most certainly _not_ complaining about.

We caught sight of Guardian Jackson: a tall woman in her thirties, with her auburn hair scraped into a tight bun and the classic guardian expression. She exchanged a nod with Killian who nodded back. I rolled my eyes and went into my room, waving Killian goodbye. Closing the door, I examined the room, surveying the surrounding that had been left untouched since I had woken up. I kicked off my shoes and flopped onto the bed, not even bothering to take any of my other clothes of and change into something more sensible. I was honestly ready to fall asleep there and then when a cold chill ran down my back. I lifted my head like a curious meerkat and pushed myself up so I was sitting on the bed, resting against my hand. The chill remained and I looked around the room when a ghostly apparition fluttered in front of me, shifting around manically. I narrowed my eyes and focused harder and the apparition became clearer.

It was Mason. But more than that: he was in pain.

* * *

 **Hello my dear comrades in Comrade**

 **Long time, no see ;) I am genuinely so chuffed right now - c7000 words in three days!** _ **And**_ **I managed to finish my condensed note taking for the East Anglian Witch Trail of 1645-7, moving on to Salem next ;) Man, I love my course :D**

 **Anyway, off topic: what you guys think? Like it? Love it? Hate it? As you can probably ascertain, we are going to be following a similar(ish) plotline to the one that Lissa undergoes in Blood Promise, but with my own twist on it. I am defo going to be continuing with this one, not least because of the absolutely fabulous reviews that you guys have been giving this story - thank you so much! I am natural worrier, so the reassurance was massively appreciated and I cannot thank you enough :D**

 **Right, chapter three :) I cannot promise it will be up as quickly, but I shall endeavour to not keep you waiting too long.**

 **So for now, here's wishing you every blessing,  
Mariarty**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello my dear comrades in Comrade :) And a Happy Good Friday! :D**

 **Now, I know what you are thinking: why have you got the AN at the beginning? Well there is a reason for this and it is that I am not sure you'll like me by the end of this chapter, so I thought I'd address you while I was still in your good graces :3**

 **I am actually greeting you from my beautiful hometown of Edinburgh :D The sun is characteristically nowhere to be seen and the rain has begun in earnest, but I am still loving it xD I actually wrote this chapter on my phone during the** _ **seven and half hour**_ **drive it took me to get here (!?) I've been doing it for years and still can't get used to it xD I say this to apologise for any typos/general grammatical errors. I think I got them all, but just in case :)**

 **A big thank you to everyone who reviewed/favourited/followed this story and do let me know what you think of this chapter :) To answer your question, VampGirl555, I am not sure whether I'll be able to get Abe into this story. I want to, for sure, so I'm looking for an in, but I can't be certain. I do apologize :3 Also, I know the Romitri has been a little lacking, but we will be rectifying this - fear not! This is first and foremost a Romitri tale ;)**

 **And so, with that in mind, let us head on!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy or anything surrounding it (but I do own this plot :D)**

* * *

RPOV

Could ghosts feel pain?

It was question I had never thought to ask, nor believed that I would ever ask. Yet, it was a question that had plagued my mind continually for a solid few days without soil or taint. Was it even possible? They were dead and pain was very much a living conundrum…right? It had been a couple of days since Mason had appeared in my dorm room; I could remember him clearly: hunched over, gasping and gagging, as his eyes looked towards and his hand reached out, begging me to help him. But I couldn't. All I could do was sit there and watch.

It was like Spokane all over again...

I found myself punching out my anger at half four in the morning. In the few days that had passed, I had managed to keep my concerns to myself, though of course Adrian had his suspicions and Killian, given that he was following me everywhere, too was picking up on my more shaken state. Thankfully, both knew better than to press the situation and I was glad of it. I also had a little more reason to be happy that day as it was the day that Killian had arrange for me to visit Dimitri.

I am not quite sure exactly _how_ he did it. All I knew was that it had involved a very long conversation with first Alberta, then Dr. Olendzki and finally Headmaster Lazar, but somehow he had managed to get through them all and I was scheduled in for around two o'clock. I honestly didn't see what all the fuss was about: I mean, he was _unconscious_ , what did they think I wanted to do? Persuade him to tell the Academy to stop having Killian follow me around and hope that when he wakes up he'll be both agreeable and remember? I think not. I just wanted to know that he was doing okay. That was it. Neither Alberta nor Dr. Olendzki were being particularly forthcoming about that information; last I heard was an ambiguous rumbling that he might be on the verge of waking up, but neither of them thought that this news was relevant to me. I couldn't help but think that they were holding something back, and I was determined to figure it out.

That, along with the ever-recurring question as to whether ghosts feel pain. Suddenly my day seemed a lot busier than I had initially thought.

"Alright, Rose. We're done." Killian said, steadying the bag.

"What? Too much for you?"

He laughed and shook his head, taking down the bag and gesturing for me to get ready for my first lesson. The night passed slowly and I wasn't really paying attention for most of it; I remained steadfast distracted by the prospect of visiting Dimitri such that calculus went straight in one ear and out the other (though, to be fair, that was what it did normally). In fact, I was in such a daze that I didn't even notice when I walked into an unwitting individual on the way to lunch.

"Whoah, sorry there." I said, when I felt the contact of his shoulder.

The response was not what I was expecting. "Don't ever touch me, you little bitch."

I blinked, but was quick to compose myself. "Hey! What's your problem, buddy?"

"Right now, you are." Was the snapped reply. His eyes glared at me, blazing in his sockets. It was a rage that boiled and bubbled like emerging magma. A sensible person in this situation would step away. I was not a sensible person.

Killian, however, was and stepped between us. "Okay, let's take it down a notch..." he said, pushing me back a little.

The boy glared at him before actually harrumphing and walking away. I watched him go with no little shock on my face. "What on earth was up with him?" I said, still dumbfounded by the sheer level of anger he had exuded for what was clearly just an accident. "Who even is he anyway?" I said, turning to Killian as we resumed our approach to the cafeteria upon realising that I had never seen him before, despite him being around the same age as me.

Killian's face was a hard thing to read in that moment; he seemed both contemplative and deeply concerned as he replied. "Reed Lazar."

"Reed _Lazar_?" I was certainly not expecting that. "Jesus Christ." I muttered.

Killian still remained deep in thought and I had a feeling I knew what about. Unless he was just having a really bad day, Reed clearly had some sort of anger issue and with the conversation between Avery and her father that Killian and I had witnessed, there was considerable cause for concern.

I suddenly found myself wanting Kirova back in charge, which was _not_ a thought I thought I'd be ever having. But then again, it wasn't quite as strange as whether bloody ghosts feel pain.

Which reminded me.

"Hey, do I still have to do that community service crap as part of this thing?" I asked, gesturing between us.

Killian nodded, coming out of his contemplative state. "Aye," he said and I resisted commenting, "And I'm glad you've brought it up because we still haven't decided what-"

"Can I help Father Andrew?"

Killian looked back over to me with no little surprise. "Oh, um, okay…" he said, his tone clearly feeling that I had some ulterior motives at play here which, to be fair, I did, but he didn't need to know that.

"Sorry, it's just when I had to do community service before, we helped clear out Father Andrew's stuff and I found it quite therapeutic." I explained, feeling that it was probably need.

What I did not account for was Killian's ability to pick up on my use of language. "We?" he inquired.

 _Oh, crap._ I thought, but played it off cool. "Yeah, me and Dimitri."

"Guardian Belikov was on community service?" He said, a little amused.

I rolled my eyes, thankful that he wasn't reading too much into this. "No," I said, "it was just his day off and he said he had nothing better to do. I think he had finished all his westerns." I said jokingly.

Killian quirked a brow and I suddenly felt a wave of irritation. _He could do that too!?_ "Westerns, huh. Well, it explains the duster."

I chuckled. "Yup, he was a total fanboy for the Old West."

Killian smiled. "I really can't imagine him being a 'total fanboy' for anything." he said.

"Well, you better believe it: there is a whole other side to the big, bad Guardian Belikov, filled mostly with John Wayne movies." I said with a wink.

He laughed. A small part of me was telling me that maybe I shouldn't be telling Killian this, but, really, it was nice to have someone to talk to about Dimitri. Also, Killian was one of the many who believed Dimitri to be the epitome of guardianship - stoic, strong and completely focused on his duty. Don't get me wrong, being a guardian was Dimitri's greatest privilege and he took an enormous amount of pride in it, but Dimitri was so much more than that and I was spreading the word. Really, it was an act of community service to have people stop looking at him like he was an antisocial god and start looking at him like he was a person.

And Killian seemed like a pretty good place to start.

We entered the cafeteria and immediately spotted the gang. Well, Adrian helped a bit:

"Hey, it's the babysitter and the baby!" he cheered, raising his glass.

I rolled my eyes while Killian just looked disapprovingly towards the drunken Moroi. Killian did not like Adrian, he didn't say anything, but it was clear. To be honest, a lot of the time, _I_ didn't like Adrian, so I could see where the man was coming from. Along with Adrian sat the usual suspects: Christian, Lissa and Eddie, but there was a new arrival to the group in the form of Avery Lazar. Evidently, Lissa had decided to take on her change of heart and they sat in pleasant conversation across the table before Adrian had made his unruly exclamation.

"Remind me, which of us is still lingering about a high school, despite having left a number of years ago?" I challenged, plonking down next to Lissa while Killian stepped into the shadow of the wall, wearing a little smile at my comment.

"Yeah, why are you still here?" Avery said, turning to Adrian who sat, as it will surprise no-one, at the head of the table. "I mean, I'm here by force, you're here...by choice? Reliving the glory days?" I was quite surprised by her boldness, but was loving the fact that she was making jokes at Adrian's expense. So, apparently, was Christian who continued looking over at the Moroi with his usual sarcastic smirk.

But if Adrian was bothered, he hid it well. "Ah, my glory days are still to come," he replied with a wink. "And I am a free spirit: I do what I please, when I please and answer to no-one. My motives are forever concealed in a mist of mystery - it's what makes me so attractive." He said, wriggling his eyebrows at me.

I snorted. "In your dreams, Ivashkov."

"No, little dhampir," he said, "in yours." he winked.

"So it's really true," Avery said, turning to Adrian, but also Lissa, "You guys are...what? Unspecialised?"

"We prefer the term _spirited_." Adrian said with a wink towards Avery who looked rather amused. Clearly, he wasn't discriminatory over how he dished out his flirting. I was honestly inclined to rule his 'type' as any and all females.

"By that," Lissa interjected rather matter-of-factly, "he means we are Spirit users."

"And that lets you heal and dream walk and read people's minds?" she said. "Holy shit, that's cool. You guys have completely bested my lonesome air magic."

"Yeah, welcome to the club." Christian said, popping a chip into his mouth.

Avery acknowledged him for a moment before turning her attention to me. "And you two are bonded, right?"

I eyed her, trying to gage her interest, before nodding. "Yeah, Lissa brought me back from the dead."

"Seriously!?" she said, a little too excited, but no-one else seemed to notice. "Wow, St. Vlads is getting more interesting by the second."

"See now why I stick around?" Adrian said, raising his glass to his lips and taking a sip.

Avery grinned, looking between the group. "Yeah, Court was so boring. Dad had put so many restrictions in place that the only person I could really talk to was Reed."

At the mention of her brother, I remembered the encounter from only about ten minutes ago and could feel the girl's isolation; if that was what Reed was like normally and he was your only real company, I can imagine how desperate you would be to get out there.

"I haven't met Reed yet," Lissa said, politely turning to Avery, "Is he around? Would he like to join us?"

Avery shook her head. "Afraid not. He's in one of his moods. You how it is, teenage boys and all."

It was an explanation to be sure, but I wasn't entirely sure I believed it.

If Avery picked up on my uncertainty, she hid it well when she turned back to me and inquired, "Rose, hope you don't mind my asking, but why are you being followed around by him." she said, nodding towards Killian.

I was about to reply, but Adrian beat me to it. "Cause she's too dangerous to be left alone." he said with a grin.

I scowled over at him. "It is not that." Well, it was a bit, but I was not willing to give Adrian the satisfaction of being right. "I disobeyed some orders during the attack a couple of weeks back." I said, brushing it off.

"By that she means she ran back into a cave-full of Strigoi for Belikov." Christian elaborated, mimicking Lissa's matter-of-factly from earlier.

"Who's Belikov?" Avery asked.

I shot Christian a little glare, before replying. "Guardian Belikov, he's my mentor."

"You ran back for him? That's...brave…" she said, with a slight smile, which I did in no way like.

"Thanks." I said, deadpan.

Her gaze lingered for longer than I was comfortable before resuming conversation elsewhere.

As far as first impressions went, this one was decidedly mixed. Avery was charming to be sure and clearly held an interest in our little group, but there was something off: something that I could neither place nor shake. It was yet another thing to add to my ever-growing list of things I didn't fully understand. For all my doubts though, I was put at ease by the calmness that flowed from Lissa's body into mine. She, in spite of her initial reservations, seemed to really like Avery. I think perhaps, in light of everything that had happened, Avery's fun-loving spirit was certainly an appealing distraction and, really, she seemed nice. I was probably just misreading her.

Lunch finished and we slugged back to class where I continued to remain distracted until the clock hit 01:45 and my final lesson of the day was done. And I was glad of it. I couldn't get out of that classroom fast enough; such was my rapidity that even Killian struggled to keep up.

"Rose! Hold up." he called out.

"Nu-uh, Hazza. You speed up." I replied, not slowing my pace for a second.

I could hear his groan, before he broke into a little jog to catch up with my speed-walk. "You know, he isn't going anywhere." Killian pointed out.

"Nor is the toilet, but you still rush to get there when you need to." I quipped before I could properly think it through.

Killian shot me an amused glance. "Did you just compare Guardian Belikov to a loo?"

 _Yes, yes I did just compare the love of my life to a bog._ But I shrugged it off all the same. "It works." And as an analogy for this particular situation, yes it did.

Killian shook his head. "Be sure to tell him that: I'm sure he'll appreciate it." He said, a little sarcastically.

"Can people actually hear you when they're in a coma?" I asked, suddenly finding myself very unaware of how these things work. _Man, I should have paid attention in biology…_

As it turned out, Killian seemed just as enlightened as I was. "I'm not actually sure. I know that hearing is the last thing to go and the first to come back, so maybe?" he said, pondering on it a little. I had noticed he did that a lot.

"Have you heard anything? About his recovery?" I asked as we rounded a corner.

Killian shook his head. "No, I'm afraid not."

I frowned. "Don't you find that weird?"

"What?" Killian said, mirroring my expression.

"That we haven't been informed. Or you haven't been informed, because they never tell me anything." I muttered, thinking back to the amount of times I had to press for information, usually pertinent to either me or Lissa, in this institution.

Killian, for his part, still wore his perplexed gaze. "Why would they tell me?"

"Because they know I'll want to know, given that Dimitri is my mentor and that I dragged him out, and they've probably got some stupid patient-confidentiality rule in place that forbids them from telling me, so they'll you something to keep me occupied enough not to pry any further." I said.

Killian blinked. "Wow, you've thought that through."

I sighed. "No, I just know how they operate. They did the same thing with Victor Dashkov - kept us in the loop long enough for us to believe it was okay whilst actually concealing something that was actually quite important." In that case, it was only the bloody trial which, I still maintained, should have included Lissa and I from the start.

"There is usually a reason for that, Rose." Killian said as we turned another corner, encroaching closer and closer to the hospital wing.

"Yeah, well, it's rarely a good one." I said as the wing came in sight. I felt my heart flutter within my chest and I spend up again, much to the chagrin of Guardian O'Hara who, in spite of his notable height, found himself having to jog again.

The hospital was busy, but was settling back into normality. Many of those injured from the attack had been discharged and the overwhelming majority were here for reasons unrelated to the attack. The waiting room, for example, saw two dhampir sporting matching black eyes accompanied with a bag of frozen peas; a Moroi who was looking unnaturally pale and holding a bucket in his lap and another dhampir clutching her ankle whilst glaring angrily towards it, as if telling it off for hurting. It was such a typical and mundane scene that it put me at a little ease to know that that school was on its way to recovery, now that the threat had been eliminated.

Dr. Olendzki appeared from the double doors which led to the Academy's ward wing. She was carrying a clipboard in her hands with an apple resting on the top, clearly having had no time to stop for lunch. Smiling as she approached, her eyes rested on me. "Ah, Rose: two o'clock on the dot." She said, looking towards the clock.

"You know me, doc," I said. "Always on time."

She laughed. "Of course," She said with a smile. I grinned and followed her through, Killian in tow.

Dimitri was situated in Ward 17, one of the ICU rooms. I won't lie, the very idea of the ICU and that Dimitri was in it was enough to completely obliterate the former calmness in favour of a substantial wodge of fear. Hospitals had always made me uncomfortable - it was why I constantly strove to avoid them, even when I was legitimately in need of one. I wasn't even sure exactly what it was that repulsed me; there was just something so deeply unsettling about the atmosphere created through the smell, sight, touch, taste and sound of the meticulous cleanliness of the clinic.

And when you combine all those sensory provocations with the words _Intensive Care Unit_ , it was made all the worse.

But regardless of my thoughts on the matter, the ICU was where we found him: lying motionless, save for the slow and steady rise and fall of his chest, on the white sheets of the hospital bed. The sight left me speechless. He was still Dimitri: still the lightly tanned, Russian-born and so unbelievably beautiful man I had fallen head over heels for, but for all I knew of him, I had never seen him so vulnerable. He appeared so peaceful, but, even as he lay there, there was an undercurrent of pain that lingered across his features like a vestige better gone. His hair lay loose around him and in disarray; if he were awake, he would have promptly fixed that, but I actually found myself rather enjoying this unkempt image. There was something so raw and real about it. He was dressed in the compulsory (and usually unflattering, but how Dimitri pulled it off, I will never know) hospital gown with his torso slightly exposed to allow access for the heart monitor which beeped at a slow, but continuous level.

I stood there in a flurry of emotions: part of me wanted to just run to his side and never leave while another part wanted to shout at him to wake up and another just wanted to cry. In response to this inner turmoil, I did nothing: stood, stunned, just looking at him before mustering the courage to peel my gaze away and towards Dr. Olendzki.

"How…?" I didn't get much further than that. But the good doctor understood my meaning all the same. "He's doing well - his body is healing very well for the injuries he sustained and he should be waking up soon. It has been a little over a week and in his condition, that is around the length which would expect, but of course every case is different." She said.

My response was a nod.

She smiled as her pager buzzed. She shifted her clipboard to a single hand and slightly inclined it so that the apple on top balanced between it and her body before rummaging in her pocket for the pager. "Ah, it appears I have a Moroi with food poisoning to address. Could you keep an eye on her," she said, talking about me but talking to Killian.

To be completely honest, I had completely forgotten he was there. He, having not forgotten that he was there, nodded and Dr. Olendzki left to attend her patient. I stepped in closer to Dimitri. I half expected him to move - he had always been so alert to the point of joking over how I could never sneak up on him. His motionlessness was unnerving to say the least.

But I played off my unease in true Rose Hathaway style. "You know, he used to tell me off for staying in bed too long, the hypocrite."

Killian shook his head and laughed in good faith, but his expression told me I wasn't fooling him. "You guys were close, weren't you? Do you want a moment?" He asked.

I smiled. "Thanks. Sorry, it's just a little odd not seeing him about and telling me off." I said, suppressing my actual emotions.

Whether he believed me or not, I could not say. "You could try speaking to him. The doctor said he could be waking, maybe his hearing's back." Killian said with a little shrug.

I smiled. "Thanks, Hazza."

He rolled his eyes, but was smiling all the same. "Right, I'll be out here." And with that,he stepped behind the door.

I suddenly found myself alone with Dimitri. Albeit an unconscious Dimitri, but I wasn't going to let that spoil the moment. "Hey, comrade," I said, pulling up a small plastic chair and plonking it beside his bed. I was then plagued by the question of what to talk about. I wasn't in want of conversation topics, but some were off limits for legal reasons, most notable being our entire relationship, which rather significantly narrowed the pool. I could have just sat there quietly - Dimitri and I often enjoyed each other's company without the need for words, but this was different. Dimitri wasn't silent, he was in a coma. And it was partly my fault.

I suddenly had my conversation topic.

"I'm sorry I couldn't get you out in one piece." I said, looking towards his closed eyelids, silently wishing them to open. I could remember his eyes perfectly: those deep brown eyes that I could get lost in. Yet, I knew my imagination could not do them justice. "Please wake up soon, comrade." I said. "I don't know if you can hear me, but if you can, please wake up. Killian is nice, but he's no you. Guardian O'Hara I should say. He's the one they've got watching me for running back in for you. Yeah, you heard right - saving your ass has got me being babysat, so really you owe me one," I said, chuckling slightly.

Silence met me. Dimitri would have laughed at that. If not, he'd have given me at least an exasperated _: Oh, Roza…_

I smiled at the thought. "Stan ran back for you," I told him. "Probably wouldn't cope if I got all the glory."

 _He is a good man, Rose._

I sighed. "Yeah, I suppose he is. I could have killed him though…" I felt the weight of my actions fall down on me and suddenly Killian's chastisement made a lot more sense.

 _Punishment is rarely without cause._

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, yeah…" I shook my head and flopped back further into the seat, crossing my arms over my chest. "So what have you missed? There's been a ghost development. I know you're still a little sceptical, but bear with me on this one. I'm planning on talking to Father Andrew about it, but I'm not sure it'll be of much use. What do you think? Could ghosts feel pain?"

 _Perhaps. They are lost souls trapped in the world of the living: it cannot be an easy balance. Perhaps they are in constant pain._

I considered the possibility and pondered the thought. "Maybe…" I said, trailing off a little. I sighed, this was certainly not something I could solve in an evening. Besides, I hadn't seen Mason since so perhaps it was just a one time thing. Maybe. Hopefully. I sighed again. "What else has happened? Oh, Kirova's been replaced by a Lazar. I'm not sure how I feel about him. Neither is Killian, which means it's not just me being bitter."

 _Rose Hathaway? Bitter?_

I narrowed my eyes to his unconscious form. Silence. No matter how well I could imagine, it would never be as good as the real thing: the real thing that was right in front of me but completely out of reach. I lifted my gaze from him and scanned the room and then the door: Killian stood with his back to us, so I knew the coast was clear. Edging forward, I took Dimitri's hand in mine and brought it to my lips, brushing them against his skin. "Come back to me…" I whispered against his palm when I felt it:

A twitch.

I snapped my head up and saw a slight crease form between his brows. The slow beat of the heart monitor quickening.

He was waking up.

"Dimitri…" I said hopefully, gripping his hand tighter. His response was stronger. Jumping out of my chair, I plonked myself on the side of the bed, still holding his hand, and urged him awake. "Dimitri, wake up."

He groaned and mumbled something incoherent.

"Don't argue with me now, comrade. Wake up." I urged feeling the smile tug at my lips.

"Roza…" he mumbled and the smile manifested into a full grin.

"Yes, Dimitri. I'm right here. Come on, wake up." I said, not bothering to hide the glee in my voice.

Such was my excitement that it attracted the attention of Killian, who turned a poked his head in the door. "Is everything alright-oh." He said.

I turned my head and smiled. "Go get Dr. Olendzki." I didn't say turned long enough to see if he left. I turned back to Dimitri as his eyes began to flutter open. "Dimitri…"

"Roza," he said, his voice returning to him, though it was thick under his Russian accent. "What...where are...I-I can't see…"

I shook my head and brought my hands to cup his cheeks. "Hey, I'm right here." I said, brushing my fingertips against his stubbled jaw.

But it did little to calm him. "I can't see…" he said, the panic clear in his voice.

My excitement faltered and my concern grew; a frown formed across my face as I edged closer. "Comrade, look at me. Look towards my voice."

His eyes, now open fully, flicked towards mine but their focus was off. Upon closer inspection I saw his irises: the beautiful brown quality now slightly clouded. My heart jumped.

"Rose…" I heard Dr. Olendzki's voice, but barely registered it. Instead, I remained focused on Dimitri: his rapid heartbeat, panicked breathing and frantic eyes as he repeated the same thing over and over.

"I can't see...I can't see…"

A single tear ran down my cheek as the realisation hit me: Dimitri Belikov was blind.

* * *

 **Eeek!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy or anything surrounding it (but I do own this plot :D)**

* * *

RPOV

Having spent most of my life at the Academy, I was used to a certain level of certainty. That Kirova was going to be a bitch? Yup. That I'd find myself more often than not in Stan's detention room? Definitely. That I would go years on end without hearing a word from my mother? Without question. None of these things were particularly great, but they were at the very least stable. Now, it had all changed: Kirova was out, Stan had grown a conscious to the point of actual concern and my mother had even left Lord Selezky's charge in order to serve at the Academy and be closer to me. Added to this was Dimitri, _oh Dimitri_ , and suddenly I had found myself in a swirling mess whose only byproduct was uncertainty. I missed predictability and having things vaguely under control, but now I found that all of that had gone and really anything could happen.

One thing was for sure though: Killian O'Hara was a hard man to lose.

I had spent the best part of the day formulating and attempting to just that, but to no success. Killian had stuck to me like glue - like a magnet in perfect opposition. Also, he was not an idiot. He had worked out, around forty-five minutes in, that I was trying to ditch him and so had upped his game, which was making my task a lot harder.

Dimitri had been released that day, it wasn't just that Killian and I had had a row. In fact, I had barely spoken to the man since the hospital. I had barely spoken to anyone actually. What would I say? I mean, really: this was not something that could be dealt with flippantly or lightly, but it seemed that that was all I could manage. When Killian did broach the idea of conversation, I brushed him off with brisk dismissal and promptly shut any chance of it down.

But he didn't seemed disheartened by this. In fact, he had even had the balls to suggest that I talk through my 'conflict' with my friends, which whilst it may, for all intents and purposes, seem entirely reasonable, the truth was I was nowhere near ready to broach this topic, even with Lissa. The only person I wanted to talk to was Dimitri and that was a problem for the plain and simple reason that Alberta had forbidden it.

She had _actually_ forbidden it. Forbidden to the point that Killian was under strict instruction to keep me away.

I mean, come on! Did they think I was an idiot!? Of course I knew that Dimitri needed a little time to process what had just happened to him. He hadn't broken his arm or sprained his ankle: he was fucking blind! That was not something you got over in a evening - this was life changing and I knew that. I knew he needed space, but what I didn't know was why Alberta felt the need to forcibly remind me of this.

Actually, I had a pretty good idea as to why I was being kept away. Despite their efforts to keep me out of the loop, I had found a way back in and discovered that as well as being discharged, Dimitri was also scheduled in for a meeting with the guardian council. Clearly, this was the reason Alberta had for forcing Killian to tighten his leash on me.

And so, I was trying to ditch him.

I had tried just sneaking off; I had tried pretending to need the loo; I had tried something a little more covert by just talking my way out of it, but nothing seemed to be working. Killian was prepared for anything I threw at him, no matter how eloquent my delivery was or how smart it seemed in my head. Covert wasn't working…

Maybe overt would?

"Rose!"

I bolted. I just ran, as fast and as far as I could. Thankfully, Dimitri's insistence on making me run laps till kingdom come was paying off as Killian struggled to keep up. He was also hindered by the fact I had ever so cleverly bolted during what was perhaps the busiest part of the vampiric day: the end of it. This wasn't exactly planned: as I mentioned, I had been at this for a while and Dimitri's meeting with Alberta and the guardian council was already happening, so I was a little desperate.

"Rose!" Killian shouted again as I turned another corner and ducked in under one of the pillared walls that lead to the quad. From the reflection in one of the windows to my left, I saw Killian pug through the crowd, unaware of my position.

 _Right._ I thought, smiling at my victory. _Time to find Dimitri._

Really, Alberta should have known better than to expressly ban me from anything. The meeting was being held in her office: a place I had been well acquainted with over the years. I reached the door, but stopped myself from entering when I heard the voices inside. It was already underway and I didn't want to interrupt, just listen, so edged closer to the door, pressing it open so that the muffled voices became clearer.

Alberta sat in the centre of what looked like a panel of guardians. There were two on each side as well as a few dotted about the walls, all facing the man sitting in front of them.

Dimitri.

Physically, he was looking a lot better than the last time I had seen him: the bandages had gone, paleness replaced by his former light tan and he had cleaned himself with a shower and a shave. But then there was his expression: his whole demeanour. He sat hunched over a little, his hands hanging limply between his open legs and his unfocused gaze fixed on the ground. They had given him a pair of blacked-out sunglasses, but he wasn't wearing them; they instead resting on his lap, precariously balancing on his thigh ready to fall on the ground at any time. My heart clenched. He was unhappy, deeply and despairingly unhappy. I doubted if he was actually registering anything Alberta was saying, just nodding systematically to give its illusion.

Alberta, for her part, continued speaking, but shot him a sympathetic look every so often, then remembering he could not see it. "...Obviously, the Academy will fund the medical bills as is detailed in your contract, section three, sub-section thirteen…" she spoke on about compensation and other such like, her voice tender, but with that little element of rehearsal embedded within which told me that she was following procedure to a tee.

Dimitri looked like he couldn't care less as she cited section after section, procedure after procedure. He looked like he wanted to be absolutely anywhere but that room, but such was his own obedience, he sat, listening or not, before her.

I wanted help him out, just run in and drag him out of there and honestly, the temptation was pretty persuasive, but I was spared any further dwelling by three very disgruntled syllables:

"Hathaway."

 _Ah shit._ I turned my head to see a very pissed off Killian. He stood with his arms crossed and his eyes narrowed to a glare. I won't lie, he looked pretty intimidating and had the circumstances been different, I would have probably been a little more terrified, but as it was…

"Hi." I said.

He raised a thick eyebrow slowly and hardened his glare. "This is your idea of 'top form'?" He said it as a question, but I knew it was rhetorical.

I folded my own arms. "I am not apologising." I said with no little defiance.

Killian remained unhindered. "Not to me, perhaps, but to Guardian Petrov-" he stopped as he saw the horrified look on my face. He may have thought it was him, but I had stopped listening a long while ago:

"...this will be implemented as soon as the termination of your guardianship is official."

I froze.

Termination of guardianship.

Dimitri's guardianship.

I didn't hesitate.

"No, Rose - wait!"

"What!?" I shouted, storming into the office to the surprise of every single person present. "You can't do that!"

"Miss Hathaway!" Alberta snapped, rising to her feet before her eyes landed on Killian who had ran after me. "Guardian O'Hara?" she said, demanding an explanation.

Killian gave a sharp sigh. "I do apologise, she lost me. It will not happen again."

But I paid no attention to either of them, instead focusing on the matter at hand. "You can't take away his guardianship."

"Miss Hathaway, this does not-"

"He is the best Guardian here!" I declared, not really caring that there were a good number of senior guardians present in that room.

"Miss Hathaway-"

"So what if he is blind, he can-"

" _Rose_."

Dimitri's voice silenced me: enough power to topple nations condensed into a single word. He had turned his head slightly, his eyes searching for where I was, but not finding.

I felt my heart shatter in my chest as I saw it. He had given up - his world was falling apart and he had stopped fighting it; allowing the waves to come over and pull him under, Dimitri Belikov had stopped swimming and condemned himself to drown.

Well, I wasn't having it…

If it meant saving him, I would get in there with him, hire a lifeboat, hell, I'd drain the bloody ocean! I was not going to let him lose what he had worked so hard for for one mistake, which wasn't even his fault, turned sour. I was reminded of the day Dimitri had brought me back, how he had volunteered to mentor me to save my sorry ass from my own mistake, which was very much my own fault.

And then it hit me. "I can do it."

Alberta frowned. "What?"

I met her gaze. "I'll train him. I know his technique - I've been learning it for two years. And he's fine, look at him: he can still fight, he's got four other perfectly functioning senses. We see with more than just our eyes. I can do it during my extra training sessions: it won't affect my education. And I'll have Guardian O'Hara to help." I added before I could censor it.

Killian was most certainly not expecting that, such that he froze where he was and the only thing he managed to utter out was a nervous: "Uhh…"

Well, at least it wasn't an outright 'no'.

Alberta sighed. "Miss Hathaway-"

But I cut her off, giving her my ultimatum. "Give me until the end of the year. Until Graduation. I'll show you all: _Guardian_ Belikov," I emphasised, "will be as good, if not _better_ than before. And then you can have this discussion."

Silence met me. Most of it was shocked, but I could see the consideration in Alberta's features. She was considering this. Killian's words suddenly hit me: _knew of him, did not know him._ Dimitri's reputation as a guardian was formidable, everyone knew that, but it was only Alberta here who really knew Dimitri and knew how much this meant to him. That was why she was so resolutely following protocol without any emotion and why she was considering my offer: she did not want to do this.

"Well," she said, looking towards me and then flicking her eyes back to the rest of the room. "you must realise how untoward this situation is, Miss Hathaway, but ultimately the decision lies with Guardian Belikov." She said, making sure to use his title.

Suddenly the whole room turned to Dimitri. Even though he could not see, I knew he could feel the stares. His eyes were closed and his head hung in silence.

"Dimitri…" I said, stepping forward.

I saw his eyelids tightened before he took a breath and straightened up. "I accept." his tone was firm and clear, but clipped.

Alberta paused. "And is Guardian O'Hara agreeable?"

My eyes widened and cast a shaky glance to Killian.

His expression was neutral. He had no loyalty to Dimitri, or me for that matter. He was fully in his right to say 'no' and walk away from this mess in one piece. He could make his life so much easier for himself, but he did not. Instead he nodded and said: "Yes."

My heart jumped a beat.

Alberta nodded. "Then it's settled." she said, sitting down again. No sooner were those words spoken did Dimitri push himself out of his seat and put his glasses on. I made to go to him, but was stopped by Killian. Another guardian jumped to his side before I could reach him and he walked away, his hand resting on the other guardian's shoulder as he lead him out the ro.

"Don't." Killian said, his hand still around my arm and keeping me in place.

I was ready to lash out at him, but remembered what he had done only seconds ago. I swallowed my anger and exited the room.

"Guardian O'Hara, a word please." Alberta said just as Killian made to follow me. "Rose, please wait _outside._ " She said, her emphasis not at all subtle. I nodded and stood outside with strict obedience as Killian approached her desk.

The door was closed and not opened again for another half hour. After the fifteen minute mark, I was getting a little anxious, but sucked it up, stuck my headphones in and remained put. When Killian eventually did out, he looked a little surprised to see me still there, but his expression fell it's natural expression, soft but serious.

"Nice to see you can actually follow orders."

It was a low blow, but I deserved it. "Thank you." I said.

He looked over at me, considered for a moment before speaking again. "Rose, I'm going to ask you a question and I want an honest answer."

I frowned. "Okay…"

"Are you in love with Guardian Belikov?"

I paused and took a breath before answering. "Yes."

He remained neutral. "Is he in love with you?"

At this, I hesitated. My being in love with him, whilst frowned upon, was not illegal. The other way round, however… I did not want to perjure Dimitri so tried to work around it. "Can I plead the fifth?"

Killian, sighing a little and shaking his head, smiled. "I don't recall you taking law?"

I grinned back as I realised he was teasing and therefore not fully enraged by this. The relief had me shrugging and wandering down the corridor. "Lissa had a mock. I helped revise."

He nodded and followed. "You're loyalty to those you care for is something to be admired, Rose." He said. Several moments passed before he spoke again. "I won't say anything, you have my word."

I looked towards him. "Why?" I asked.

He expression went back to its neutrality, but there was a pain that flashed across. "There is no nobler cause than to fight for the ones you love. Don't forget that." He said, before a smile crossed his features. "Besides, if you keep your mouth shut, I'll still have plausible deniability."

"What?"

"I thought you said you helped revise...?"

I rolled my eyes.

We continued through the corridors in no particular direction. Dimitri was still in my thoughts: he was shutting himself down, I knew it all too well. But I wasn't going to let him fall, not when we had come so close and so far - I would not let this pull him back into the pit he had confined himself in for so long.

With this mind, I decided to go to Lissa: it would have been the epitome of hypocritical if I were to scold Dimitri of bottling up his emotions if that was exactly what I was doing. I saw the smile fall over Killian's features as I made my way to her room where I knew she would be at this time and I allowed him the pleasure of being right. I felt I owed him that much.

But my motives weren't exactly pure…

"Rose," she said, upon opening the door.

"Hey Liss," I said. "You mind if I come in? Sparky not hiding under the bedsheets?"

She gave me a slight glare but opened the door. "Very funny."

Killian, ever the gentleman, said he'd wait outside and I smiled, making a mental note to thank him later for that and everything else just for good measure.

"How you holding up?" she asked, sitting down on her bed and crossing her legs over. She knew. How she found out, I did not know for certain, but had a strong suspicion it involved an Irish accent, given the Academy's instance on keeping this all under wraps.

I sighed slightly. "I'm okay. But I'm here to ask a favour of you."

Her eyes widened and she leaned forward a little. "Of course." she said.

I hesitated. "You may not like it…"

"Rose," she said definitely. "You are my best friend, of course you may ask me for a favour."

I smiled, but still felt the resistance within me. "I want you to heal him." I said, the words tumbling out quickly so as not to give in to the resistance.

Lissa blinked. I knew I did not need to elaborate, for she understood perfectly. "Rose, I…"

"Please, Lissa." I said.

She hesitated again. "Rose, I don't know…"

"Please," I repeated, stepping forward and onto the bed, knees first, so that I kneeled before her. "You know, I would never ask you to do anything like this - to use your magic and put you in danger of the darkness - but I beg you: do this for me. I will stand by you, I will suck that darkness out. I'll do whatever it takes…" I assured.

Her eyes were wide and contemplative; she still look a little hesitant, but her nod told me of her determination. "Okay, Rose. I'll do it."

I felt my heart jump. "You will?"

She nodded. "I can't promise-"

I cut her off, throwing my arms around her. "Thank you!"

She was a little surprised at first, but settled into the hug fully. "I will try my best."

"You always do."

"Ooo, what's going on here?"

The joy I felt upon hearing Lissa's admission was enough to overpower any reservations I may have had about Adrian sauntering into her room and our conversation uninvited and unannounced. "Thank you." I whispered again to Lissa, completely ignoring Adrian, or at least trying to.

I felt her nod and smile. "Anytime."

"Are you two going to make-out now? Because I am so ready for this!"

I pulled back and glared at Adrian; he was ruining a perfectly perfect moment and I was not appreciating it. "Did you want something?"

"Oh, little dhampir," he said, plonking himself on Lissa's desk chair, "must you always think so low of me?"

"What are you doing here, Adrian?" Lissa asked.

He shrugged and started swinging in the chair. "I saw Braveheart out there and figured you'd be in here."

I rolled my eyes. "I you decided just to walk in?"

He stopped swinging. "We haven't seen you for awhile, Rose. I wanted to make sure you are okay."

"Well, I'm fine: you can piss off now."

"Sheesh, charming." he said, placing his hand on his heart in mock-offense, but he got up all the same.

Lissa stopped him before he could reach the door. "Hey, are we still on for the training sessions?"

Adrian turned, something flickering in his eyes, but was suppressed with a smile. "Of course, as soon as you like."

He left and Lissa and I continued. We spoke about everything and nothing and I realised how much I had missed this: Lissa and Dimitri were perhaps the only two people I knew who could put me at such ease, even just by being there: the love I had for Lissa went beyond duty and, while it may not be the romantic love I held for Dimitri, it was just as important to me and filled me with just as much joy and comfort. I left Lissa's room feeling a lot better than I did when I had entered it. Killian perked up from his surveying stance and gave me an inquiring look.

I scowled. "Yeah, okay: you were right."

He smiled. "That's what I like to hear."

"Well, don't get used to it-bloody hell!" I cursed as I found myself slamming into someone. For a moment, I was worried it was Reed Lazar again and prepared myself for the outburst, but was sourly disappointed when I saw the smug face of Jesse Zeklos.

Well, there went my good mood.

"Jesse." I groaned.

He smirked. "Hathaway, nice to see you still can't keep your hands off me."

I glared at him. "I can assure you, I can." I said flatly.

"Sure," he said with a wink. I groaned again and moved passed him when his voice stopped me in my tracks. "So, I heard about Guardian Belikov."

I froze.

"Blind, really? Not much use anymore. Shame he didn't manage to keep you under control."

I felt my blood begin to boil and I turned to smack him in the face, but was stopped by a restrictive hand.

Killian.

At this, Jesse laughed. "Awww, got your bodyguard to fight your battles for you?" he said, mocking me.

I glared first and Killian and then at him. "I can fight my own battles, as you well know…" I said, threatening him with my tone as I dared him to remember how I vowed to kill him. True, I was under the influence of the darkness, but that was a mere technicality and one that Jesse knew nothing about, clearly, as he hesitated a little. I grinned, feeling a slight trickle of darkness drip into my body. "And as you said, Guardian Belikov isn't here to stop me this time…"

"Rose…" Killian warned.

Jesse smirked. "But he is…" He said with a wink. "See you around, Hathaway."

I glared after him as he swaggered away, before shoving Killian's hand off my shoulder and glaring at him. "What was that?"

"Rose, I was not going to let you hit him." Killian said frankly.

"You made me look like an idiot!"

"I did no-"

"No, you made me look like a fucking idiot in front of that-ah!" I screamed as a sharp pain shot through my head, pushing me to the ground.

My outburst completely forgotten, Killian rushed down to my fallen side. "Rose, what's the matter?"

I hissed through my teeth as the pain increased. My eyes clamped shut and my head pounded as though my skull was being hacked with a knife. I could barely hear Killian's concerned remarks and when I finally managed to open my eyes the sight that greeted me was far from desirable:

Mason.

His eyes looked straight back at me: wide with fear as he gasped and gagged and then vanished. He went as suddenly as he came and the pain went with him. My eyelids fluttered and I found myself lying on my side on the floor, doubled over in an almost fetal position.

"Rose…?" Killian's face came into focus.

I moaned and flopped onto my back. "Ow." _What the hell was that!?_

"We're going to the doct-"

"No, no," I waved him off, rubbing my fingertips against my temples. "It's just a migraine. I think I just need to have a lie down: it'll pass, I'm sure." I'm not sure who I was trying to convince: me or him. But one thing was certain and that was I did not want to go back to the hospital; I had had quite enough of it for the moment.

Killian hesitated, but complied; helping me to my feet, he followed in silence as I wandered slowly to my dorm room. Guardian Jackson was waiting there with a somewhat bored expression which turned to a frown when we came into her sight. I was too busy trying to rub out any excess pain from my temples and Killian had fallen into his usual brooding contemplation, so Guardian Jackson had no hope of getting any sort of explanation from either of us.

In any case, I entered my room without being questioned.

As soon as I was in range, I flopped down on my bed and tried to force myself to sleep. It was difficult as every time I closed my eyes, I saw Mason's tortured expression as though it was burnt into my vision. What was happening? I had absolutely no idea, but I knew it was not good. Selfishly, I did not want to deal with it, so tossed over and tried to think of something else. The something else was of course Dimitri which did nothing to help my quest for sleep. I groaned and flopped back on my back, trying to clear my mind of the chaos it was undergoing. It took me another hour to fall into a vague sense of slumber and, as fitful as it was, it was made all the worse when my dreamless state was then turned into the quad in the centre of the Academy and the scent of cloves tainted the air.

I groaned.

"Adrian!" I shouted.

"Yes, my love?" he appeared from one of the arches.

I glared at him. "I am not in the mood for this." I said bluntly.

"You don't know what it is yet?"

"I don't care. Send me back to sleep."

"You are asleep."

"You know what I mean." I said, actually growling a little.

His lazy expression hardened a little and grew serious. "Rose, I need to talk to you."

I groaned. "Can't it wait until morning!?" I exclaimed, throwing my arms in the air.

"No." was the simple but heavy reply.

I stopped pacing and looked towards him. "What's wrong?" I asked, taking in his uncharacteristically serious countenance and tone.

He paused before speaking. "I know what you asked Lissa to do."

I narrowed my eyes. "So?"

"She can't do it."

I laughed. "And that's for you to decide?"

He remained unaffected. "She can't do it."

"She agreed, of her own accord I might add."

"Rose, she _can't_ do it." He said.

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that Spirit has its downsides."

"The darkness, I know." I interjected.

"You don't, Rose." Adrian said. "Do you know why I keep my power numbed?"

I tensed. "She has me."

Adrian smiled. "Rose, this isn't some cut or broken ankle. This is bigger."

"She brought me from the dead…" I pointed out.

"And how long did it take her to recover!?" Adrian exclaimed. "You may think that this is just a simple fix, but it is not. And it is made all the worse by her recent exposure to it with our repeated training sessions and that Mână bullshit, which, I need not remind you, nearly sent her over the edge."

I felt my heartbeat quicken. "What are you saying, Adrian…?"

"I am saying," he said, meeting my eyes, "that trying to heal Belikov would drain her completely - she would go beyond sanity's threshold and not come back."

* * *

 **Hello my dear comrades in Comrade**

 **Ah, I see my estimation for the last chapter was correct :3 And I doubt it has been improved by this one xD Dare I even ask: Like it? Love it? Hate it?**

 **I apologise for the slightly longer delay. I was finding it a little difficult to structure this chapter, but hopefully it's turned out okay. And, rather amusingly, this one was actually written on the seven and a half hour drive** _ **back**_ **to England xD A nice little bit of symmetry for you there :P**

 **Sorry to be a bit brief, but I am about to begin on the joy that is applying for student finance xD I can only picture this going well :3**

 **Well, do tell me what you think - I know it was a little limited in this chapter, but we shall be seeing more Romitri in the next chapter so I hope that gives you guys a little incentive to stay tuned ;)**

 **As ever, here's wishing you all the best,  
Mariarty**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy or anything surrounding it (but I do own this plot :D)**

* * *

RPOV

 _...trying to heal Belikov would drain her completely - she would go beyond sanity's threshold and not come back._

Adrian's words cursed me throughout my slumber, or indeed what was left of it. I woke, and they were still echoing strong, haunting me like a ghost (no pun intended). Indeed, it would forever be my curse, that never-ending struggle between the two loves in my life: Lissa and Dimitri. I Would have done anything for either of them without a second's consideration. Yet, and in spite of my resolve, I could not let Lissa push herself over the edge for the mere and unguaranteed chance of Dimitri's sight returning: it was not a risk I was willing to take.

And so, I did the best I could: attempted to subtly dissuade Lissa from driving herself out of sanity's realm whilst simultaneously trying to pull Dimitri up from pit he had descended into.

You know, the usual.

And, as it turned out, neither party was being particularly co-operative.

"He's not here." It was more a statement than a question and I didn't even need to see Killian's response. I sighed, dumped my bag down on the ground and marched immediately back out. As much as I knew this was difficult for him, Dimitri was not doing himself any favours by holding himself captive in his own room and blowing off our training sessions. The first couple of times, I had let it slide - fair enough, really. But it was getting a little ridiculous now.

I thumped against the door like a hacking woodpecker to a tree. "Come on: open up!" I said. No reply. I sighed and leaned closer to the door, gently knocking against the surface. "Please, Dimitri. Let me in."

At this, I heard movement. I stepped back a little from the door and it opened. Dimitri stood before me dressed in tracksuit bottoms and a tee, looking a little disheveled, but it made me smile all the same.

"Rose." he said, his voice thick and heavy whilst his unfocused eyes searched for where I stood.

"What's this I hear about you missing practise?" I said, trying to add as much levity to the situation as possible.

His expression was unreadable, but the turn of his head told me he didn't want to talk about this. "I'm not feeling well. Please leave me alone for now."

"Yeah, not likely." I said, pushing my way in.

I heard him sigh. "Rose…"

"Dimitri, this is not helping you." I said, standing in the middle of his room; memories of a particular moment flooding into my head, making my job of getting him out of here a little more challenging.

"Nothing can help me."

"Oh, that is rubbish and you know it." I said, crossing my arms over my chest. He sighed again and shut the door, feeling it close and turning when it did. "Hiding in here is not doing you any good."

"You don't understand..."

"Then help me to." I said. "Dimitri, I ran back for you because I could not bear to be without you: I am more than willing to sit and listen."

A small smile ghosted across his features, but was suppressed beneath an expression of guilt. "I do not deserve you."

I smirked, refusing to allow him to dwell on the matter. "Well, you've got me so deal with it."

He shook his head a little and stepped forward, feeling the wall around him as he tried to move. I stepped forward and took his hands in mine, volunteering my services in this matter.

He scoffed. "I cannot even walk through my own room…"

"Hey," I said. "Could you ride a bike the first time without practise?" I saw his mouth twitch up and I groaned. "Of course. Well, this is nothing like riding a bike."

He chuckled a little and whilst it may not have been his full-fledged laugh, it was certainly a step in the right direction. I led him back towards his bed and I felt the hesitancy in his movements as we got closer. "Rose…" he said a little warningly.

I smiled. "See, you do know your room." I said. "And don't worry: it's just I don't like your chairs."

He shook his head, but let me sit him down anyway. I settled myself next to him. A frown crossed his features. "You are not just going to sit there?"

I grinned. "We've got two hours before everyone else wakes up: it's either this or we go down to the gym."

Dimitri closed his eyes. "Rose, I meant what I said before: I do not want to talk about this."

"That's okay," I said, trying to be a patient as I could. "We can just chill." And with that, I placed my legs on his lap and extending back so that I lay down.

I saw him open his eyes and frown in my general direction. "Comfortable?" he asked.

I smiled. "Yup. So much better than your stupid chairs."

He shook his head and sighed. "Oh, Roza."

I think we both realised what he had said at the same time as we both stopped breathing at the same time. He closed his mouth and swallowed, as if embarrassed by the act, whilst I just couldn't help the grin that spread across my face. For days I had been trying to talk to him, pushing him just enough to open up, but respecting his space when he asked to be alone. It was painful just as much as it was frustrating, but I knew it was necessary: I could not force him to heal or force him back to me, he had to chose to want to.

And he had just called me Roza.

For the first time since he had first woken up, he had called me Roza. I had forgotten how much I loved it; how much I loved how it sounded under his accent that no amount of imagination could do justice.

I sat up and brought myself closer to him, waiting for the scolding that never came. Instead, he sat still and allowed me to brush my lips against his cheek, more a skim than a kiss. His eyes closed and he leaned into me, keeping my kiss close such that I tasted the salt of his grief as it fell from his tearduct.

"I am undone." He said.

Apparently, he did want to talk about this.

I shook my head, before remembering that he could not see it. "No, you're not."

He sighed. "They are not going to let me keep my guardianship."

"You don't know that."

"Don't I? I'm not sure how many blind guardians you've seen wandering about, but I'm quite convinced that they don't exist."

"Then you'll be the first." I said.

He sighed, but there was a smile that toyed on his lips. "I marvel at your optimism."

I chuckled. "Well, at least you are not moping."

He frowned a little. "I was _not_ moping."

I grinned, deciding to tease him a little. "Brooding. Sulking. _Pining away_."

He scowled in my general direction. "You are very lucky that I love you the way I do..."

It was said as a playful threat, but I took the complement. "I know." I said, just as a dark thought resurfaced. "I thought you wouldn't…" I whispered like a confession before I could properly think through the consequences.

At this his frown returned and concern filled his countenance. "What do you mean?"

"When I found out, when _you_ found out, I should say. I thought you'd shut me out completely." Hurt flashed through his features, but he was quick to quell it. It didn't stop me apologising though. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have thought-"

"No, I just…" he trailed off a little. "How could you believe I'd do that?"

"Trauma changes a person," I said, thinking back to the crash how different I was after, how different Lissa was, and just how quickly that change had happened. I shuddered at my own contemplation. "No-one ever comes out how they went in: things tend to get put into perspective in a rather horrible way." I laughed, but there was no humour in it. "And then there's the classic 'love fades' whi-"

"Mine hasn't." Dimtiri response took me a little by surprise, so much so that I jolted my head up to look at him from where it had bowed in shame. "And it will never. You are etched on my heart, Rose. Please, never doubt that." He said, his lost eyes searching for mine once again.

I nodded, then remembered. "I won't." And I sealed my admission with a kiss, this time against his lips. He, without the benefit of his sight, seemed a little surprised at first, but settled into very quickly, matching my motion with perfect reflection, as though like a mirror. He was my equal and my all and I revelled in his touch against mine: the hands that tentatively skimmed up the sides of my arms, trekking their way to cup my cheeks and pull me closer. "Rose." He whispered, pulling away a little.

I grinned widely and lazily, but sighed. "Yeah, I know." I said. "Stupid moral conduct." He raised an eyebrow and I could not help but smile at how Dimitri-like it was. Even amidst this all, there were some things that trauma could not claim. "So, does this mean you are coming down…?" I decided to press the reason why I had come here before it vacated my mind entirely.

His expression turned contemplative and, no matter how much he may deny it, brooding. "I do not know."

I smiled softly and scooted closer. "It'll be good to at least make a start. It'll just be me and Killian."

He shook his head, smiling as he did. "Killian?"

I frowned. Dimtiri definitely knew who Killian was, even if he didn't before, so his comment had me rather perplexed. "Yeah, you know: Killian." I wasn't sure how to make it any clearer.

He smiled again. "I think you mean Guardian O'Hara." he corrected. _Ah._ I tutted and rolled my eyes only to his further amusement. "Will no-one command your respect?"

"Hey, if people didn't want others using their first names, they wouldn't have them." I countered, shoving him slightly. "Besides, forced babysitting does not respect provoke." I declared.

He chuckled. "You are taking this all surprisingly well."

I narrowed my eyes. "And what, _Guardian Belikov_ , is that supposed to mean?"

He turned his head towards my voice. "It means, _Miss Hathaway,_ that I was there for and stood witness to the infamous Field Experience Tantrum..."

I groaned and leaned back. "Oh, it was not a tantrum! You are misrepresenting facts there, comrade." I said, and, to my delight, he laughed: fully and richly. I decided to make full use of it. "Right, since you're finding this so funny, I shall leave then." I said, pushing myself off his bed and towards the door. I made a point of opening the door as loudly as possible as I saw him follow my movements with his lost vision. "You coming?" I asked, feigning confidence.

He paused, offering a small smile. "Tomorrow."

I drew a breath and nodded. "I'll hold you to that." I said, a little warningly.

He nodded. "I would expect nothing else."

My day passed a little more quickly after that. I went back to retrieve Killian from where I had just sort of left him in the gym. I was a little surprised that he did not follow me, but at the same time was paradoxically not given his forgiving character. In any sense, he seemed quite content when I finally returned to see him sprawled on a mat, headphones in and eyes shut. Yet even in this placement, he was still alert enough to open his eyes and jump up when I got within a ten metre radius.

It wasn't until lunchtime that anything notable happened. Even without the lingering vestige of the Strigoi attack, the usual structure and order of the Academy was fracturing a little. For dhampirs, the Qualifying Exams were fast approaching and resulting in anything else being shoved to one side. This, naturally, acted in direct opposition to the strict and calculate regime Headmaster Lazar seemed intent on imposing. He was so devoted to his cause that he even came down and out of his office above to mingle and meander among the peasantry in what he called 'Walkthroughs' wherein he, rather literally, walked through lessons to make sure we were all on topic and studying hard.

If you asked me, there was something very totalitarian about that…

But I, of course, was not going to let Big Brother bully me into any form of submission, so sought to carry on as I always had...well, along with finals. Oh, and Dimitri...and Killian...and ghosts...and Lissa.

"Rose." I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound of my own name, mere metres away from the cafeteria entrance. Even Killian, with all his ninja skills, was taken a little aback and reached for his stake.

" _Shit_." I cursed, a little involuntarily.

Adrian was not deterred and swung in front of me, gripping his hand round my arm. "What are you doing?" he said, deadpan and serious.

His tone was so unlike him, yet still held that quality that managed to piss me off a little. "First, get your hand off me." I said, shaking my captive arm free. He let go, but the fire that burned in his eyes remained ignited and strong. "Second, what are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I am talking about." Adrian retorted.

I scowled. "I think not."

"Lissa." He said.

"What about her?"

"Come on: don't tell me you don't know she is still practising healing to sort out bloody Belikov."

And behold: the second uncooperative party.

I groaned. "She's what!?"

At this, even Killian stepped forward. "What's going on, Rose?"

But Adrian wasn't having it. "Oi, back off, Guinness." He snapped before turning back to me. "I thought I warned you what this would do to her."

I could feel the anger boiling within me, and I knew it wasn't darkness. "What, and you thought I'd just forget or ignore something as important as that!? Bullshit. She is my best friend, Adrian. Of course I told her to stop." I said, now matching his fire.

Adrian tensed his jaw and collapsed against the stone wall, closing his eyes. "She isn't listening."

I grabbed a chunk of my loose hair and ran my hand through it. "Not to us. Have you spoke to Christian?"

He scoffed. "Yeah, he want's to speak to me."

"Oh, for the love of-" I cut myself off. "Just bury the hatchet and get on with it." I said, really not in the mood to be dealing with anymore drama. "If not for you, then for the rest of us. Including Lissa."

He sighed, reaching into his inside pocket and pulled out his cigarettes.

"Don't even think about it, mate." Killian, still a little miffed about being cast aside by Adrian's comment, warned glaring a little.

Adrian scowled but complied. After a moment, he seemed to calm down. "I'm sorry, little dhampir. I am just worried for our dear friend."

I nodded. "You are right though: we do need to talk to her. But you know Lissa: once she's got something, she will hold onto it as if her life depended on it."

A wide grin spread across his face. "Well, we'll just have to persuade her…" he said, wriggling his eyebrows.

I narrowed my eyes. "Not funny." I said, but somewhat glad his devil-may-care persona ha returned so quickly.

"Adrian!" a new voice joined the party. I turned to see Avery weave through the lunchtime crowd and towards us. She was dressed in a simple jeans and tee combo with her hair down, but there was an underlying sense of effort in her outfit that made the casualness seem forced. "Oi, hi Rose. I didn't see you there." She said, smiling towards me.

I nodded. "Uh-huh." I said, not believing her for a second.

Whether it was my response or Avery's general presence, Adrian's mood perked considerably and his amusement grew. I hadn't seen him drinking for a while now and was convinced he was in withdrawal with the level of mood swings he would undergo. "Why, good afternoon, little Lazar." he said.

She glared towards him playfully. "I still don't like the name."

At this, I could agree. "You and me both."

Adrian looked over at me, feigning offense. "Little dhampir, I am hurt."

"Good."

He gave me a wink and returned to Avery. "How are you doing, my dear? I heard about what happened to Reed." I saw Avery's eyes widen a little, whether as a result of her brother's actions or the fact Adrian had called her his 'dear' was impossible to tell; this girl was a swirling cauldron of ambiguity when she wanted.

She gave a big sigh. "Yeah, I'm doing okay. He's fine too." she said. I didn't knew the full story, but I honestly didn't know if I wanted to. According to rumour, Reed had apparently lost it during his politics class and went on a punching rampage, which ended pretty quickly when Miss Tate was knocked to the ground unconscious. I was convinced that it had been exaggerated a little, but Reed was in some sort of isolation and had been for a few days, so the gossip was still high. In actuality, I think that it was only getting as much exposure as it was due to the somewhat desperate atmosphere following the Strigoi attack: people were desperate for some meaningless frivolity to stop them despairing over the more deadly and depressive aspects of our existence. Even Avery seemed a little drained over it all, but hid the pain well. "I was actually thinking of hosting a little gathering in my dorm tonight. It'll just be the gang, you know. Rose, you can come too, if you can ditch the bodyguard." she said, giving Killian a flirtatious wink to tell him she was fooling around a little.

He wasn't amused.

Avery wasn't deterred, but didn't wait for my reply. "So, what'd you say, Ivashkov? Ready to really have some fun?"

Adrian smiled. "You know what, yeah. It'll be good to cut loose for a bit."

Avery grinned. "Great. Come over at sevenish, or before, if you like…" she said with another wink.

Adrian smirked. "Perhaps I will…" he said, leaning towards her a little. I raised my eyebrows, catching his eye. He grinned a shrugged a little, looking back towards Avery. "Can I persuade you with a bit of lunch?"

Avery, having seen the shared look between Adrian and myself, made a point of stepping closer to him. "You can persuade me with anything…"

 _Bloody hell._ I thought as I watched them walk off.

"My sentiments exactly." Killian muttered and I realised I had spoken aloud.

"I mean, she may as well have given him a lap dance." I said.

"Rose." Killian chastised, with a little glare, but I knew he was thinking the same thing.

I huffed a little before stepping back into the main body of the school. "I need to go find Lissa." I said as Killian silently, but a little dazedly, followed.

"Is something wrong?" He asked, genuinely concerned.

"I'm not sure yet." I said, not elaborating any further. I tapped into the bond, trying to reach Lissa's head. She was in the attic, but Christian was nowhere to be seen. Instead, she was refilling through old books under the dim light of a candle, surrounded by the shadows of the night; the moon's light only barely skimmed over the stained-glass window, creating a ghostly image on the floor. I snapped back into my own body and powered towards the church.

I found her in that exact position ten minutes later. She didn't even look up when my booted feet clobbered up the small, stone staircase and onto the creaky wooden floorboards. "Liss?" I actually had to say, but even that did not break her study.

"Hey, Rose." she said, not looking up from the volume in front of her.

I frowned and stepped forward. I had left Killian in the main hall of the church and the murmuring of voices told me that he had engaged Father Andrew in conversation. "You okay?" I said, trying again to peel her away from the book.

Again, no change. "Yeah, just studying." that last word was separated out into its syllables as something in the text caught her eye and she moved to look at one of the other open books.

I cast a glance over the text. It read: _Complex Theology of Supernatural Occurrences in the Vampiric Realm._ "I thought it was _Jane Eyre_ you were reading?" I attempted a joke.

No response.

I acted: leaning over and snapping the book shut.

"Hey, what are you doing!?"

"Lissa." I said.

She looked up at me, a little pissed. "What?"

"What are you doing?" I asked.

She continued to look pissed. "Trying to help save _your_ mentor." she said, reopening the book I shut.

I shut it again. "By driving yourself insane?"

She scoffed. "I am not driving myself insane. Look at me: I am fine." she said pointing to her body.

I stared at her pointedly. "Lissa, it's the middle of the day, you are supposed to be in a lesson in fifteen minutes and not supposed to be reading up on…" I cast my eyes over one of the books. "...fifteenth century witchcraft documentation!? Jesus Christ, Liss." I said.

She glared at me and snatched the text. "You asked for this."  
"I also asked you to stop."

"Yeah, because you don't think I am strong enough."

I shot her a look of my own. "That is not what I said. Adrian-"

"Adrian doesn't control me." she snapped. "Nor does he know everything there is to know about this. I can do this. I can heal Guardian Belikov and I can do so much more."

As she spoke, I could feel the gentle boil of darkness bubble within me, trickling through my body like blood from a wound. "Lissa, you need to stop: this is not good for you."

She laughed. "Oh, and you know what's best for me?"

The darkness boiled. "I think I might have some expertise." I growled, pointing to my temple.

Bad move. She glared at me, harder than before. "That does not mean you know me, Rose Hathaway." she said, a sinister anger bleeding through her tone. The darkness bubbled more.

I swallowed it down. "You're right, I'm sorry." I said , trying to calm the growing fire. "But you don't need all the stuff: you have me and Lehigh and not to mention Christian."

At this, I could feel a slight guilt within her. She sighed and I felt the darkness quell as she did. "I know, I know - but I can do this, Rose."  
I felt myself calm considerably as she did. "I don't doubt it, but you do not need to. You've been using your magic a lot lately, it might be a good idea to slow down a bit. Dimitri can wait."

She sighed again. "How is he doing?"

"Great." I lied. "He's really coming along."

She eyed me skeptically. "Really?"

"Really." I affirmed.

"Liar." she said, shaking her head and leaning back on the chair.

I chuckled. "He's coming along tomorrow. He promised and he is a man of his word." I said.

She smiled a little. "I don't know how I missed it." she said.

"Missed what?" I asked, perching myself on top of the table and on top a book (I saw Lissa grimace slightly, but she didn't comment).

"You have feelings for him." she said. "We used to joke about it, but I don't think I ever made the connection."

I sighed. "Yeah."

"I'm still not happy you didn't tell me." she said, shooting me a little glare.

"Liss, it is illegal."

"Only if you act on it." she pointed out.

I didn't comment, but looked away guiltily.

She widened her eyes. "You didn't…"

"Plausible deniability." I said quickly.

She frowned. "What?"

I shrugged. "I don't know, it was something Killian said about keeping my mouth shut."

Her eyes widened again. "You told _Killian_ but not me!?"

"In my defense," I said as she continued to look appalled. "He asked me directly."

"Oh, that makes all the difference." she muttered sarcastically, once again shooting me glare.

"Sarcasm? I think Christian is rubbing off on you there." I said, wishing quite badly to change the subject matter. "Where is Sparky anyway?"

Lissa looked down at her hands. "We had a bit of an argument…"

"Over books?" I said, looking down at the table in front of her.

"No." she said with a scowl before the guilt resurfaced. "Over Adrian…"

I groaned. "Seriously!" I said, burying my face into my palms before sitting back up again. "You know, it's probably not helping that you keep going to him for this stuff." I said pointing at the books.

She shot me a slight glare. "Maybe not, but Adrian does have a little more experience with this 'stuff'."

"I am not denying that," I said, "just maybe talk to Christian about it before you do go see Adrian. He's a teenage boy, Lissa: they get jealous, especially around guys like Adrian."

She shook her head. "I don't see what is so wrong with Adrian."

"He is single and more than willing to mingle." I said flatly.

She rolled her eyes. "Well, Christian still shouldn't be so worried. Besides, I am not the one who is interested in Adrian…" she said, raising her eyebrow.

I mirrored her look, raising both of my own. "Indeed. Miss Lazar seems _very_ interested in the drunken wonder."

Lissa laughed. "Sorry, the 'drunken wonder'?"

I shrugged. "It's one of the nicer ones I have for him."

She rolled her eyes. "Are you going to Avery's gathering tonight?"

I considered for a bit. "Don't know yet. You?"

She smiled a little."You know, I am. I am up for a little levity and I like hanging out with Avery."

I scrunched up my face. "Really?"

"Yes, Rose," she said pointedly. "She is a lovely girl. I really don't think you are giving her a chance."

"Hey, I am just naturally suspicious." I said, raising my hands.

"Mhmm," she said, rising to her feet and picking her coat off the chair behind her. "I should probably head off to lesson."

I smiled, rising to my feet. "I can clear this up if you like?"

She shook her head, "You don't have to do that. I am the only one who comes up here and Father Andrew lets me leave my stuff around: he doesn't mind."

I shook my head back at her. "No, no: I insist. It's not like I have anything better to do right now."

"You don't have a lesson?"

"Nope."

"Liar."

I grinned. "Think what you will."

She shook her head. "Alright, I'll see you later. Maybe?" she said.

I smiled. "Yeah, catch you later." I said, running my hand over the spine of a book: _An Essay Concerning Elysium - A World Beyond?_

"Oh, and Rose," I lifted my head to see Lissa poke her head back through the attic's door. Her expression was determined and I could feel the underlying current of darkness rumbling beneath as she vowed: "I will heal Guardian Belikov."

* * *

 **Hello my dear comrades in Comrade :D**

 **Apologies for the delay - I had a bit of trouble with my maths as I realised I had completely not learned one part of my D1 module (I'm self-teaching so it was bound to happen :3) I have spent the last week learning Route Inspection algorithms which are about as fun as they sound xD**

 **Well, what did you think? Like it? Love it? Hate it? We had our first Romitri moment :D Five chapters in, but hey ho xD Also, can I just say what a lovely reputation I've gone and made for myself - the amount of reviews which were like 'don't you dare push them away' xD I'm not all bad - I promise! I think I've given our dear Roza and her comrade enough to deal with without adding that in :3**

 **In other news, for a bit of a break I rewatched one of my absolute childhood joys yesterday, rediscovering the first Dimitri that I fell in love with. Anyone else an** _ **Anastasia**_ **fan? Oh, man - it is so good! I had actually forgotten how great it was and am now reconsidering watching** _ **all**_ **of my childhood films:** _ **Robin Hood, Bambi, Lady and the Tramp**_ **and, of course,** _ **Beauty and the Beast**_ **;) Feel free to let me know what your fave childhood films were, if you don't mind that is - any Disney (or indeed other, in** _ **Anastasia's**_ **case :P) films have the uncanny ability to put me in such a good mood. The dance school that I go to are putting on a show in December and the number to my tap dance is a mash-up of** _ **The Bear Necessities**_ **and** _ **I Wanna Be Like You**_ **by the Overtones (feel free to check it out - it is really rather good :D)** **so I've naturally had them both in my head for about two weeks now xD**

 **Anyway, I hope you are all well :) I am aiming to get at least one more chapter before my inevitable hiatus, so hopefully we shall speak soon!**

 **In the meantime, here's wishing you all the best,  
Mariarty **


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy or anything surrounding it (but I do own this plot :D)**

* * *

RPOV

I decided not to go to Avery's party for a number of reasons, the main one being that Killian wasn't letting me. I was still under punishment from the whole 'saving Belikov' thing and, whilst Killian had been more than lenient over our time together, he was putting his foot down at a direct breach of the 'limited recreational pursuits' clause. In all honesty, I didn't mind. I wasn't overly keen on Avery and even less keen on her 'gathering', which had managed to bloat from gathering to full fledged party that everyone was talking about. I wasn't sure if word had reached Headmaster Lazar, but something told me that that was exactly what Avery intended by hosting the thing.

In any case, while the rest of the school was getting drunk, I had an thrilling evening planned with Killian, Father Andrew and a dusty church (such was the excitement of my Friday night). It sounded a little tragic, but I was actually looking forward to it; it gave me an excuse and an opportunity to grill the Priest further on ghosts, now with the added addition of pain. Killian didn't even bother hiding his surprise and suspicion as I willing walked out of Stan's lesson and towards the church without much of a fight.

"I thought you wanted 'top form'?" I said, attempting to hide my smirk as I found his confused rather amusing.

Killian continued to eye me sceptically and just hummed a: "Mhmm" as we entered the building.

I continued smirking which did little to alleviate his suspicion. Upon seeing Father Andrew, I turned my smirk to a smile and gave a little wave. "Hey, Father."

He looked up from where he stood by the altar and gave a surprised but pleasant smile. "Hello to you too, Rose." He said, giving as still highly sceptical Killian a bemused looked.

"I have no idea what she's up to." Killian said.

Father Andrew chuckled whilst I placed my hands on my hips and looked between them. "What? Can I not just be in a good mood without an ulterior motive?"

"Of course you can, Rose." Father Andrew said, still smiling. "I only hope it stays with you during our time here. I'm afraid it's not that enthralling."

I shrugged. "Sure, I'll get the broom."

His smile grew and he turned to Killian. "That, I'm afraid, leaves you on gum-removal." he said, extending a pair of gloves and what looked like an ice scraper out to Killian.

I stifled my laugh.

But not well enough apparently as Killian looked up, the realisation coming over his face. "Now I see."

Despite this, the session passed pleasantly; rather amusingly, the church was still quite tidy from when I was last undergoing community service, the only real new mess coming from the more recent weeks when the academy starting falling back into some form of normality and the church found itself subject to its normal levels of both attendance and vandalism. I managed to sustain a relatively normal conversation for the most part as I thought it would seem a little suspicious to lead with ghosts.

"Rose, tell me: are you still interested in Vlad and Anna?" Father Andrew asked as our conversation about how my trial practice was going diminished to an end.

Sensing that this was an opportunity, I looked for a window whilst maintaining an aura of casualness. "Oh, yeah. Did you find anything else about them?"

He smiled, seemingly quite pleased. "Ah, wonderful - I managed to procure a few more books from the Court library and one of them included a section on our patron which I thought may be of interest to you."

I nodded. "Thank you." I paused before continuing. "Hey Father, you know when I asked about ghosts, you said about the soul separating from the body after death and it lingering?"

The priest raised his head and gave me his full and curious attention. "Yes."

I pondered how to phrase it. "Do you think it is possible for certain...physical things to seperate with it?"

Father Andrew frowned. "Things such as…?"

"Well, like...pain."

At this his eyebrows rose and he considered the question. "I don't believe so. Pain, in particular, is a very sensual feeling and therefore can only really be attributed to the earthly and living world."

I frowned. "But what about hell?"

"Ah, but hell is a place, both tangible and physical - much like the earth in that respect - so physical sensations would again be possible, but I do not believe that lingering souls - if such things exist - could feel anything so...alive."

 _Alive._

The word shuddered through me. Mason wasn't alive. He was dead. Dead yet tortured to haunt this cursed world in consequence to his death. I could not help the guilt I felt, which was only made worse by the fact that I longed to see him: I could not wish him gone forever, not yet at least. As selfish as it was, I still didn't feel ready to part with him, even though I knew it would bring him peace. It was a small part of me that I neither admired nor could deny, but seeing him constantly in agony was becoming too much to bear.

I remained silent for the rest of the hour, finding some solace in mindlessly scrubbing down pews and pulpits. Killian, I could tell, was curious. He kept glancing over concerned, but not saying anything: I could see the conflict within him where his curiosity and his politeness clashed. He didn't want to pry but there was no doubt I had perplexed him.

In any case, I went to my slumber without further explanation.

* * *

I was up early. I had never been up _early_ for anything in my life, yet there I was: wide awake at four o'clock with the sun still shining, having barely begun its slow collapse into the distant horizon. I tossed off the covers and was in the shower within a minute, the warm water serving only to increase my consciousness. It took me all of five minutes from the moment I awoke to the moment I left my dorm to power towards the gym. Killian wasn't even there when I arrived, which became a little more unsurprising when I worked out I was forty-five minutes early.

Even Killian had his limits.

Regardless, I shrugged off this new revelation and set about getting some practise in. I mean, I was up and there was no way I was going back to sleep so I may as well. Twenty-three laps in, I decided to shake it up and pulled out a punch-bag. I could feel the set of fatigue at my early morning begin to rear its head in the fibers of my worked muscles as the weight of the bag hung in my arms and the subsequent blows given sent ruptures through my flesh.

"Why was it always such a struggle to get you to do this when I was training you."

The voice took my by surprise and I faltered: mid-strike but a mix of instinct and excitement causing me to pivot on the balls of my feet, resulting in a rather comically imbalance.

Even though he could not see, Dimitri's small smile told me he had some idea of the effect he had had.

After sorting myself out, I responded with equal light-hearted wit. "Perhaps it was because I was being forced against my will…" I suggested.

"A guardian often finds himself in situations he does not like." He countered in full zen-master mode. "And as such must adapt accordingly."

I crossed my arms over my chest and decided to play this game. "Surely said guardian should be given some freedom for enjoyment in order to show the best skill."

"Where is the challenge in remaining in the comfort zone?" He said, inclining his head a little.

"Do you always have to be challenged?"

"Preferably."

"Come on, there must be some room for fun. Even for the hard-working guardian."

"Fun entices distraction and distraction brings danger."

"So all distraction is bad?"

"Of course, it-" I cut him off, using - perhaps a little unfairly (and rather immorally) - his weaken sensory perception to sneak towards and then embrace him with my lips. He, understandably startled, dropped the cane he had used to guide himself to the gym independent of a living guide and froze over what to do before his baser disposition trumped his reason and he sank into the kiss, effectively diminishing the point he had just made.

He, knowing full well what I had just done, let the kiss continue for a moment longer before pulling away. "You are a cruel woman, Rose Hathaway."

I grinned. "No, just willing to find fault in perfectly sound reason."

He laughed a little, his hand reaching out to my head so that his fingers could trace their way across my hair as it rested in a ponytail. I watched as his smile grew then faltered; he had always loved my hair. I could not see his eyes for they remained hidden under a pair of blackened glasses, masking their emotion, but I could well imagine their expression, their sorrow.

I took his wandering hand in my own and brought them together in a clasp. Bending down, I picked up the cane and tugged him into the gym. "Alright, comrade: you ready for this."

I saw the former smile ghost over his features, but he remained typically serious. "Should we not wait for Guardian O'Hara?"

"Would a Strigoi?" I said, not resisting the opportunity.

In spite of himself, he shot me a look. "Rose."

"Sorry." I said, trying to suppress a laugh and most certainly not being in anyway sincere. Dimitri, of course, knew this but said no more, instead opting for a more classic look of stoic indifference as he cast his fruitless and covered eyes across the room. Perhaps in an attempt to get some sort of bearing, I could not say for sure; it seemed that his emotional and physical barriers were very much up, making it difficult for me to ascertain exactly how to proceed.

"Hey, comrade: you alright there?" I said with no little timidity.

Dimitri didn't need to be Sherlock Holmes to see through that one as his head came round to face my general direction with gratefulness and patience. "Quite fine." I smiled and believed him. He certainly seemed a lot better than yesterday (and indeed any day before that) and a lot more 'in the mood' to cooperate which was good news for me given that I had very little idea as to how successful this would be. I had Googled, I had read, I had asked, inquired and done just about everything since Alberta let me do this to try and put together some sort of coherent and productive plan, but in truth, the only way I could be truly sure of productivity and indeed coherence was to try it out. It was very much an experiment and one which could either go wonderfully or disastrously wrong.

Naturally, I favoured the former, but that very much depended on a multiple party approach.

"So, where do we start?"

We started with a jog. Really, it wasn't too challenging. Dimitri was still a little shaky by himself given the role eyesight played in balance and perception. Steps he took sometimes were followed by a stumble, but soon he got into a rhythm and was able to move and run without the use of my shoulder. He listened to the sound of my footsteps thud against the surface of the gym's floor and followed in tow, quickly becoming used to the speed and path which we followed. Things got a little tricky when Killian's footsteps were introduced as he slumbered in, shocked to discover I was actually out of bed and being productive. Dimitri lost the rhythm at the introduction of the new sound and staggered to an uneasy halt. I skidded to a stop and shifted towards him, but he brushed me off and asked to continue.

Killian respectfully sat down and didn't move for the next half an hour.

What came next proved to be more difficult. Having established that my dear comrade had not lost any of his stamina, I decided to ease him back into combat with an odd combination of a punch bag and a bell. To cut a long story short, it didn't work particularly well and really, I didn't expect it to. The bell was, for one, much too loud among the silence of the early-morning condition of the gym, resulting in more discomfort and disorientation than its intended function as a competent signal for where the bag was. This made landing an actual punch very much 50/50 and even if he did manage it, there rose another problem; given that I was holding the damned thing, every time the bag moved as a result of the blow so did my arm out of the way, meaning there was no consistency and the bell was never always by the bag. Both problems were very much unanticipated and very much lowering the morale of the room and, as such, were promptly tossed aside.

It was time to leave anyway. I didn't want to go, I never did really. Mortal encounters tend to leave you with a new perspective and one which left life's sanctity at an elevated level. I loved Dimitri, even more than I did before, and desired nothing more than to remain locked away in that cabin for the rest of my days. Obviously, that was never going to be an option and reality had very much slapped us in the face instead, but you know what they say: when life gives you lemons… I was very much determined to make the best of this - the best fucking lemonade ever - and was delighted that Dimitri was in a similar mindset; having him fight me on this one would be a most unwelcome hindrance.

"Same time tomorrow?" I probed tentatively. We were leaving the gym, and also leaving Killian to tidy away the equipment left strewn across the floor. I made a mental note to thank for it later.

I saw the ghostly smile which accompanied the nod. "Yes." He hesitated a moment longer before continuing. "I never said thank you-"

I decided to cut him off before he dared to even think about continuing that sentence. "Don't thank me. This is the very least I could do. I don't even think it counts as courtesy."

He shook his head. "They were going cast me out."

"They were not." I scoffed. "You are the best thing to happen to this school and they know it."

I heard him sigh. "They were, Rose. Whatever ability I had is now a thing of the past."

"Bullshit. You being blind has no bearing on the matter. Sure, it's a bit inconvenient and you have to adjust, but I certainly doesn't make you helpless. Just look at Matt Murdock."

In a most Dimitri-like way, he cocked a brow. "Daredevil?"

"Yeah." I said, somewhat surprised he got the reference.

"He's a comic book character."

"He's a fucking superhero."

He chuckled. "My point was, he's not real."

"Then make him real."

He sighed. "I wouldn't be too optimistic."

I scoffed a little. "I have to be given all the pessimism coming from you."

He sighed again. "What I mean is that there is a chance that this won't work - that it is all for nothing. And as difficult as it is to think about, I don't want you to-"

"Oh, shut up, Dimitri!" I snapped. "Shut up - can you not stop wallowing for five minutes. Just shut up, shut up!"

"Rose…?"

"Can you hear yourself? You're like a broken record, going on and on and on and on. Just shut up!"

"Rose..."

"It's like you've got nothing better to do than whine and moan…"

"Rose!"

"...and make everyone else's life a bloody misery. Do you know how selfish that makes you? 'Oh, I'm blind.' Yeah, we know: just shut up about it!"

"Roza!"

I stopped: my head slamming me to the ground. In spite of his lack of sight, Dimitri caught me with elegant ease and cradled me in his arms. My voice, I hadn't realised, had grown in volume to a shout, attracting the attention of one Guardian O'Hara who had rushed over to where we were with no little concern. I could barely see him myself through the harrowing blackness that was smothering my vision and coursing through my skull.

"What's wrong with her?" A confused and positively shocked Irish accent was added to the mix in my head.

"It's not her" came the Russian reply.

I slammed my hands over my ears, trying to deafen the screams that now were racing through my head. I dared not open my eyes for fear of seeing Mason again, collapsed and broken on the ground. My headache grew as did the darkness: I felt like my mind was being torn in so many places that I didn't know what to think or do. I was helpless, broken, defeated and in pain. Oh, so, so much pain. I had never experienced anything like it: it… it…

It stopped.

Just like that, it all went away. My eyes blinked open, my hands dropped from my ears. I assessed the situation around me: Killian pacing nervously beside me as Dimitri held me tightly to his chest, whispering to me in Russian words that sounded like a lullaby. Yet mixed within it came a painful but silent cry - one I knew only too well as Lissa's.

"Rose…" Killian, seeing my eyes open, squatted down next to me and placed a hand on my shoulder. Dimitri ceased his murmurs and set me down on the ground, but kept his hold on me.

I, still in a little shock over what just happened, took a moment before speaking. "I'm fine, Hazza. Worry not." I said, a little breathlessly.

Killian must have been concerned, for he didn't even blink when I called him 'Hazza'. "Rose, I think we should go to the doctor…"

I shook my head. "No, no: that won't help."

"Rose, you just collapsed!"

"Guardian O'Hara, could we have a moment." Dimitri's voice came in thick yet oddly clear.

I watched as Killian dithered: looking between the pair of us, begging to know what on earth was going on. I sent him an apologetic look and he hovered for a moment more before nodding and standing up. "Okay."

I watched him walk away as Dimitri listened and as soon as he had left, Dimitri turned to me. "What is going on?"

His brash tone told me I had frightened him. Badly. I hadn't thought it possible, well not at least to this extent after everything that had happened. And yet, I guess I was wrong... So, I told him all I could: about Mason, about the headaches and about Lissa. I felt like such a hypocrite when the words "I asked Lissa to heal you" left my mouth, but he remained remarkably passive about the whole thing. Dimitri was always very good at keeping his cool; he didn't even flinch when I brought up the ghosts again, something I knew he was still very sceptical about, in spite of Mason's aid in locating the Strigoi cave. He sat and he listened, still running his hand across the expanse of my back. His full expression remained hidden by the blacked-out glasses, but his natural inclination for stoicism told me that I wasn't missing much.

Ghosts and darkness: individually unbearable and together so much worse. It felt like my head was being ripped apart in every direction as through seized upon by ravenous wolves. It had gone so far beyond unbearable that a small part of me actually missed the slight tolerance I had built up over just seeing Mason.

"You asked her to stop?" My sweet, sweet comrade asked with no little tenderness.

"I'm not an idiot" came my less than tender reply. "But she's determined to heal you, and nothing gets in the way of Lissa when she has herself fixed on something." I said with a sigh.

"I can." Dimitri relied, perhaps a little more firmly than he had intended.

"You've got enough on your plate. No, I can deal with this." I said, pushing myself to my feet. Dimitri, feeling the movement, lifted his head upward and contrary to all I knew, I felt his eyes train on me as I rose. "It's really not that bad." I said, blatantly lying.

I didn't know why I bothered lying for I knew it held no merit when around Dimitri. He frowned towards me, but said nothing. Instead, grunting slightly, he pushed himself up. I hurried to help him and while I felt him tense, he ditched his pride and allowed my assistance to continue. I knew he wasn't enjoying this helplessness, so I endeavoured to remove my hands as soon as I could, but he stopped me: grabbing my wrist with his hand and keeping me close.

"Tell her to stop."

It was no less than a command. I felt myself resisting it a little, but nodded all the same. "I will."

"Good. Because if you do not, I shall." He warned. Before I could say anything else to that, he turned away. "I think we are done here. Guardian O'Hara?"

Out of the darkness popped the brown-haired Irishman. His distress still hadn't left him and while I was flattered for his concern, I really didn't want to deal with the inevitable fuss that would follow. We parted ways, Dimitri off to do whatever it was he did during the day and me to class. Well, firstly, to Lissa, but since she was in class, the two went together.

In spite of specific instruction from me, Adrian and now Christian as I recently discovered, Lissa was not cutting back on her practising. She was being clever about it - practising only when none of us were about - but either she had forgotten about the bond or was ignoring it because I still knew what she was up to. I could feel the darkness surge within me whenever she did use her magic, but it was never at any great magnitude. Today's was certainly an anomaly and one I really didn't fancy repeating.

I joined the swarm of teenagers attempting to enter the classroom on time. English literature: not exactly how I wanted to start the morning, but Miss Amanda Geetes' insightful tangents were certainly better than having Stan rant at me for the best part of an hour. Besides, it was Shakespeare today and if there was one thing that could keep Amanda distracted, it was the work of the Bard: she was a fan, to put it very mildly.

I scurried to my seat next to Lissa, leaving Killian to take his place by the door. I hadn't spoken to him since Dimitri left and, perhaps more unusually, he hadn't spoken to me. I could feel that there was trouble afoot, but having Killian caught up in all the shit in our lives - most of which we didn't understand ourselves - was not exactly high on the priority list.

"Hey." Lissa whispered as I sat down. "You're early."

"I'm on time."

"Exactly." she giggled a little, but I kept placid. The fatigue in her face was clear to see: the exhaustion in her eyes and in her voice coupled with the slight shortness of breath told me she had had an eventful morning, and not in the fun way (Christian being no more or less grumpy than he usually was in the morning).

"Liss, we need to talk."

I could see every muscle in her being move at that. "Right now?" she said, writing down the date and title of the lesson as it was written on the chalkboard.

I hadn't even bothered getting my paper out. "Yes, now."

Perhaps it was the fatigue or some lingering elements of the darkness which did not sit well with my clipped tone which caused Lissa to scowl and remain unmoving. "Can't it wait?"

I scowled myself. "Lissa: you need to stop." I whispered.

"I can do it." she said as quietly as she could, her anger channelling into pressing her pen harder against the paper.

"You are killing yourself."

She stifled a scoff. "Oh, you are being melodramatic." she retorted.

"Have you seen yourself?"

"I think was Rose was trying to say…" Christian's snarly but concerned face appeared from Lissa's other side. "...is that perhaps you need to cool off for a bit."

Lissa glared between us. "You both think I can't do this: sheesh, some friends you are."

"We are doing this for you." Christian urged.

"Please, Liss." I said. "He doesn't need it. Honestly, Dimitri is fine."

At this, she snapped her head towards me. "He is blind. He is going to be fired. I will heal him."

"You are going to kill us both!" I hissed, apparently loud enough for other class members around us to look around, catching the attention of Amanda who ceased her usual ramblings.

"Rose, something to share with the class?" she said with now the entire eyes of the class, including Killian, on me.

"No, miss." I replied, deciding not to pick another fight.

Amanda, in her kindness, was always one to help a student out in a situation like this, instead of the usual method of humiliation adopted by most of the teaching community at St. Vladimir's. "Perhaps you could explain Lear's feelings about Gloucester's blindness?"

"I think he is pretty okay with it." I said directly to Lissa, with no bearing on whether that was right or not. I could see her jaw tense.

"Indeed!" Amanda said with such gleeful surprise. "It is here we get one of Lear's moments of insight and reason, as opposed to his madness: Lear recognises how ' _A man may see how this world goes with no eyes'_ thus showing how physical injury or seeming outward disability proves little hindrance on life, for true insight is held within."

I honestly could have hugged Amanda at that point.

But Lissa wasn't so willing to back down. "But what about Gloucester himself: he fell into complete despair, became solely reliant on his outlawed son and faded away so much that his death wasn't even on stage."

Silence followed that remark which even Amanda could not fill. It was at that point which Lissa became conscious of her mood and her temper and sank back into her chair, blushing heavily and clearing her throat.

"Yes...that is true...but….but he did die happily; in fact he died of happiness which could be read…" and suddenly Amanda was off again, but there was still a nervous chill in the air. Lissa had never had an outburst like that, not at least publically and I think everyone had been a little shocked at the venom which had left her lips in that moment.

She remained silent for the rest of the lesson and left as soon as the bell rang, brushing off Christian's attempt to stop her and completely brushing past me. I sighed and with Christian, we gave her a moment, before even considering going after her. When we did find her, she was standing with Avery, conversing and confiding like close friends, _best_ friends, did. She laughed, her fatigue being suppressed in favour of socialisation. Christian ran after them both and, for the first time since I'd seen them together, it was Christian who was the third wheel.

Seeing Avery's happily laughing face shot me with a deep and wounding pang of jealousy, and under different circumstances, I would have acted out. But through the bond I could feel the darkness bubbling away under the surface of her facade and suddenly my jealousies paled in comparison to my concern. She had to stop. She _needed_ to stop. I would have to make her see, convince her. I only wished that I could, without severing our precious friendship nor causing either her or Dimitri further pain.

"Rose?" Killian's voice snapped me out of my haze and I realised I had just been standing in the middle of the corridor which had steadily emptied itself of occupants, including Lissa, Avery and Christian. "No luck then?" he said as we started off to the next lesson.

"Not yet." I said, downtrodden but still with that spark of determination. "Not yet…"

* * *

 **Hello my dear comrades in Comrade :D**

 **Well, it has been a while xD I'll ask all the same though: like it? Love it? Hate it?**

 **I do apologise - between my final exam and about yesterday, I haven't been able to focus much on my writing endeavours without being distracted by concern or worry which has been such a shame :( On the plus side, I managed to get to Book III in** _ **War and Peace,**_ **which I started reading while camping in Norfolk at the start of the month and has really kept me occupied xD**

 **How are we all? I do hope well. I do have some rather exciting news: I am off to Uni! :D It was results day for us Brits yesterday and I am now about to embark on a four year course back in my beautiful birth-town: Edinburgh. I am so excited, and terrified, but mainly excited :3 And fear not: I do plan on continuing writing...I just might be even more irregular than I am now xD Alack. I do promise to try - I am really liking this story (if I can say that without sounding too up myself) and am still working out a plot for a** _ **Love, Labour and Loss**_ **sequel if anyone is interested in that, so hopefully we shall keep seeing each other, but for now:**

 **Here's wishing you every blessing,  
** **Mariarty**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy or anything surrounding it (but I do own this plot :D)**

* * *

RPOV

It was a few days later when it happened again.

The days started like any other Thursday in the world: too early. My enthusiasm for training Dimitri went only so far as tiredness and desire to stay in bed until kingdom come offered up enticing alternatives. But I pushed through: forcing myself out of that dorm and into the gym where Dimitri was waiting. Not wanting to brag (well, maybe just a little…) but his mood was certainly on the rise. To hell with Gloucester's fall into oblivion, Dimitri was on an upward trajectory. His former self - not the guardian-mask or zen-master-mode, but the Dimitri _I_ knew - was showing through more and more with every moment that passed in that gym. In a way, I actually felt him opening up more; don't get me wrong, he was still extraordinarily careful about certain things and kept a more than respectable distance from me whenever Killian was in the room (annoyingly so given that I had told him that Killian knew) but he seemed certainly softer, indeed more _human_ than his past 'antisocial god' persona that had dominated common perception.

"Good morning, Rose." He said smiling. He had on his shades, his can resting against the bench where he sat and he was listening to an iPod, seeming perfectly content in that little position.

"Morning, comrade." I replied.

He unplugged himself and shook his head. "Will you ever stop calling me that?"

"Not likely." I responding with a little scoff.

He chuckled. "Good to hear." He said with only a hint of sarcasm.

I dumped my bag and began stretching. "Fancy a jog?"

"I'd rather like to hit something." He said, getting up clenching and unclenching his hands.

I stopped and looked up at him, somewhat pityingly. "Bells or no bells?" I asked.

He gave me a small smile. "Not really much of a difference." he pointed out.

"Does that mean you are up for an experiment?"

I blinked and turned to the newly arrived Killian. "You what?"

He just looked rather pleased with himself which, when combined with his casual work-out attire and soft features, made him look more adorable than smug. "I had a brainwave."

"This a new thing for you?" I couldn't resist.

Killian shot me a look while Dimitri shook his head again. "Rose, behave." He said.

Killian cleared his throat while producing two cylindrical metal objects, two wires and two batteries. "I went to the DT lab and got these, I thought they'd help."

"What are they?" I asked, mainly for my own benefit rather than Dimitri's.

"Motors." Killian said, pulling out some gaffer tape and strapping one of the circuits to the centre of a punch bag. A small but steady buzz started. Dimitri stepped towards it, intrigued. He put on a pair of gloves and shuffled in range. Killian put his hand on Dimitri's shoulder and shifted him in the correct place. "The motor is in the centre on the other side of the bag." he said.

Dimitri nodded. Reaching forward, he felt where the bag was and then move back a little; clenching his fists into an appropriate stance, he listened for a moment before slamming his right hand into the bag, hitting it directly. Killian poked his head behind it, but the motor was unaffected and still running so Dimitri hit again, this time with his left - another landed shot.

I watched the entire thing with a mixed feeling of surprise, awe, pride and delight. It was a sentiment that only grew as Dimitri landed punch after punch, nearly as seamlessly as he could before. Killian just looked very pleased with himself, the smirk not leaving his features for the next hour or so as Dimitri and I fell back into our training regime. It was weird how familiar it felt; there were moments where I actually forgot his condition for the fluidity and ease with which the time passed and practice continued, for the both of us: me for finals and Dimitri for his career. Having only just had a breakthrough in the punch bag department, we hadn't progressed to the world of sparring yet - a rather large part of both my exam and guardian life in general - so Killian became my new partner while Dimitri built up his strength and technique on the bag.

It was in this position that Alberta found us in.

"Good morning." she said, cheerful surprise resonating in her voice as she survey the scene before her. "How are we all?"

"Very well, Guardian Petrov-urgh!" Killian turned his back to respond and seized upon the opportunity to strike his legs and render him grounded.

I grinned and pinned him down. "Distraction brings danger." I said, quoting my beloved.

Dimitri, having stopped his own workout to come a greet the new arrival, chuckled and shook his head. "Leave Guardian O'Hara alone, Rose." He said, wandering towards the group.

I hopped up to my feet and offered Killian my hand. He just glared at it before scrambling to his feet on his own.

Alberta watched the whole exchange with a look of tired amusement and rolled her eyes as a result. "Nice to see you are behaving as well as always, Rose."

"What can I say: must be prepared for anything." I said with another grin in Killian's direction.

"Well, as entertaining as you are, I am actually here to assess Guardian Belikov's progress." she said, turning towards Dimitri.

At this, my guard shot up. "Fucking hell. It's only been a week!"

"Rose!" both Killian and Dimitri said at the same time, the mix of Russian and Irish chastisement creating an odd but strangely harmonious melody.

"Nonetheless..." Alberta said, giving me a slight glare as she did, "...I thought I'd pop in to see if indeed any progress has been made. You will be glad to hear that I am pleasantly surprised by my findings." she paused, now fully facing Dimitri. Alberta, in the years I had known her, had been fair but never overly emotional. I guess it came with job. But in that moment, there was a familial tenderness in her expression as she looked over her blind colleague, her blind friend. "I am glad." she added after long last.

A small smile ghosted over Dimitri's resting placidity. "Thank you, Guardian Petrov."

She smiled, and then turned to me. "And Rose, please try and curb that tongue of yours."

 _Fair enough,_ I thought. "Sorry, Al-Guardian Petrov." I corrected.

She gave me a look, but her features, having softened, made it a little less intimidating. "Oh, before I forget: Guardian O'Hara, your meeting has been push forward, so if you wouldn't mind coming with me, I'm sure Guardian Belikov can keep an eye on-" she cut herself off, looking a little embarrassed. "He can handle Rose." She finished quickly.

Dimitri gave a reassuring smile. "It's fine, Guardian Petrov."

Alberta still looked embarrassed. "I apologise, nonetheless."

Thankfully, I was there to move the conversation along. "What meeting?" I asked both Killian and Alberta, not really too fussy over who chose to answer.

Killian was about to do just that when Alberta jumped in. "It is none of your concern, Miss Hathaway." she said in full Captain mode. Killian shut his mouth and Alberta turned back to Dimitri, saying "Perhaps you could try and encourage some discipline in her today?"

Dimitri scoffed a little. "I shall endeavour."

Alberta smiled. "An impossibility to be sure."

"I am still here!" I pointed out, inciting a chuckle from both parties.

"Woe the day we ever forget." Killian said with a slight smirk on his face, but mixed with a plethora of edict and uncertainty; evidently, he was still a little uneasy with the casualness with which Alberta - his boss - was addressing the room. To be completely honest, I don't think he was quite comfortable being friendly with Dimitri, let alone his immediate superior. My pinning him to the ground less than ten minutes earlier probably hadn't helped matters, but really, I think Killian needed to lighten up.

And so, I helped him out a little by acknowledging his comment. "Oh, you bet." I said with a wink.

I heard Dimitri chuckle a little and Killian's smirk grew with the conformation (and the fact that Alberta had 'shockingly' not bitten his head off).

The sound of Dimitri's laugh. The sight of Killian's smile. A perfectly ordinary Thursday.

Those were the last things before my world went black.

* * *

I was in a car; the cool, smoothness of the leather seat brushed against my exposed skin as the cars steady movements moved me against it. I could smell those seats: a decaying scent that came with the age of the car and the contribution of the other smells - that of the outside world, breezing through the open windows, that of the remnants of lunch sitting in the boot of the car and that of _that_ new perfume. I could remember it anywhere. It seems like such an insignificant thing, but _that_ smell of _that_ perfume - a sweet, floral combo with a hint of caramelised apple embedded within - I could never forget it. It was a odor I had never smelled since, and I never wanted to; it was left 100% associated with _that_ day…

It was the perfume Lissa and I had bought the day of the crash…

"R-Ro-"

I felt myself gasping and gagging - lurching forward, time seemed to stop. I felt like I was drowning, suffocating.

"Ro-"

A voice. Crying out from the darkness. So clear, yet so broken by pain; unable even to finish the one syllable of my name.

"Ro-Ro-"

But I knew who it was. A voice from another life. A voice I had thought I had forgotten, but probably could never. A voice… _That_ voice…

"R-Ro-"

Andre Dragomir.

* * *

I awoke with a jolt, and a nasty one at that. It was made all the worse when I saw the sterile white decor which could only ever be found in a hospital. I groaned loudly, closing my eyes tightly and willing that I was not here. When I opened them, I was met with the jade green Dragomir eyes. For a moment, it was Andre's face which flashed across my vision instead of Lissa's. My eyes widened and I felt myself pale.

"Rose…" Lissa's broken voice came over my senses and pushed the image of her departed brother from my forethought.

"Liss…"

"Oh, Rose!" she said while tentatively moving her hands up and down, unsure whether or not to touch me or not. "I am so sorry - I had no idea it was so bad - I'll stop, I'll…" she trailed off.

"Liss-"

"No, no: Guardian Belikov was right. He brought me to my senses. I am so sorry I didn't listen to you sooner."

"Lissa…" I said, sitting up and pulling her close. "Thank you, but...I don't think this is your fault."

She took the hug, but I felt her falter and pull back. "What?"

"I d-don't think this is darkness…" I repeated, even more unsure than I was before. It wasn't even a fully formed idea - I had literally just thought of it then and there - but as I pondered it further, I found myself being more and more convinced by it. Sure, Lissa' s use of magic played its part, but no more than it had before the attack. The pain, the _excruciating_ and _unbearable_ pain, that had haunted me over the past few days was just that: a new thing. It had only started after I had seen Mason, which had nothing to do with Lissa's practising given that Dimitri was still in his coma and no-one knew if he was going to wake up, let alone that he was blind. Come to think of it, weren't the wards meant to keep out ghosts? I shouldn't be able to see any of them, let alone find myself affected by their presence.

Yet maybe it was the darkness? Maybe Lissa's overuse was pushing me closer to the edge as well? Really, I had no idea. I honestly wish that there was like a 'Darkness for Dummies' or literally anything to offer up some explanation for what was going on.

"Rose?"

I sighed. "Sorry, Liss: I was miles away."

She offered up a small smile. "That's okay. I was just saying, Dr. Olendzki said you are free to go when you like, but be prepared to be called back."

I smiled. "I think she might just be sick of having me here."

Lissa laughed. "It is becoming a little habitual."

I rolled my eyes. "How'd I get here anyway?"

"Oh, Guardian O'Hara carried you in."

I blinked. "He did what now?"

She laughed again. "Apparently he had to take you off Guardian Belikov who picked you up after you fell and was about to bring you down here."

I felt my heart skip a beat. "Dimitri…"

Lissa grinned. "Well, fear not: your beloved mentor wasted no time coming to get me and giving me a piece of his mind." Guilt flashed across her beautiful features.

Horror, on the other hand, bolted through me. "He didn't…"

"I have honestly never been so terrified of anyone in my life..." she said, deadpan.

"Oh, Jesus, Liss: I am sorry. I told him not to-"

"No, I think I needed to hear it." she said, her eyelids falling down over her eyes. "I was being selfish and stupid: putting my pride before both our wellbeings. Forgive me?"

"Forgiven." I said instantly.

She smiled. "Thank you." Her smile faltered a little as a thought crossed her countenance. "What did you mean?"

I frowned. "Huh?"

"When you said you didn't think that it was the darkness? What else could it be?" she asked.

I sighed, tossing off the hospital cover and sliding my legs out of the cot. "I don't know. Honestly, I have nothing."

Lissa bit her lip. "Maybe it is just the darkness. Let's see if my abstinence helps."

"Yeah…" I said, trailing off a little as I contemplated whether or not to tell her about Andre. It was tricky and delicate and it would hurt, a lot, but feeling that we were in this together, whether either of us liked it or not, I figured that I shouldn't keep secrets from her, especially when it concerned her. "Lissa, you know how I have been seeing ghosts lately…"

"Mason right?"

"Yeah, but, others…"

She frowned. "Rose…?"

I closed my eyes, clenching my hands to the side of the mattress and taking a deep breath...before deflating entirely. "Never mind. It's nothing."

Lissa was clearly a little sceptical, but did not press. "Okay. You going to head to your dorm? Alberta got Lazar to give you the day. I even asked Avery to put in a good word…" And so Lissa went on. All the way from the hospital to my dorm where we parted ways. All the way, I remained notably quiet, not really responding and just letting Lissa speak. A small part of me told the rest of me that this was a good thing: Lissa clearly needed to vent as Tatiana's influence was an ever growing part of her life and not one she particularly welcomed, though she would be lying to say that she had enjoyed having Avery around. But I knew that was just an excuse. The real reason for my silence was my silence over seeing Andre. I don't know why I lied - I just couldn't physically get the words out. I think a subconscious part of me, with or without the bond, knew Lissa was still hurting and even just mentioning Andre's name would reopen so many wounds she had done so well to close. I couldn't do that to her, not just now anyway, no good would come of it.

Even with that justification, I still felt guilty. I flopped down onto my own bed (far more comfortable than the stupid hospital cots, let me tell you) and tried to relax. I knew sleep was out of the question, so I didn't even bother and just tried to reduce some of the restlessness that I had built up over the course of the day, including my chat with Lissa. Naturally, I got nowhere and was almost glad when there came a knock at my door, forcing me up and off my bed.

I was even happier when I saw who was on the other side.

"Rose."

"Dimitri."

He smiled and stepped in. He was in his Guardian uniform, as per the norm, but there was an addition to his attire, something I hadn't seen in awhile: the duster. He now had the complete Dimitri look: the uniform, the duster, the tied back hair. The addition of the blacked glasses gave a Terminator-vibe which, if I do say so, Dimitri was absolutely rocking.

But as good as he looked, I still had a bone to pick with him.

"What's this I hear about terrorising my best friend?" I said, closing the door and crossing my arms over my chest.

He, having located my chair and sat down, delivered a pointed look in my general direction. "'Terrorise' is not the word I would use."

"It's putting it mildly according to her." I said.

At this, he was looking a little guilty. "I might have been a little frank…"

"Mhmm…"

He sighed. "Is she okay?"

"She's fine." I assured, walking over and hopping on my desk. "But I will point out _I_ was the one in hospital…" I said, hinting a little.

Dimitri smiled. "No offense, my love, but when are you not?" he said, humour lacing his tone.

I mock gasped. "How rude!"

He chuckled. "I am sorry. How are you?"

"A little hurt, actually." He laughed again. I smiled. "But fine. Really."

"What was it?" he asked, leaning forward a little.

I sighed. "I don't know anymore. Ghosts, to be sure, but I've given up trying to understand." I said, looking down at my fingers.

Dimitri's expression turned contemplative. "Mason again, I assume."

At this I hesitated. "No."

"No?"

Again, hesitated. "I saw Andre."

"Andre?"

"Andre Dragomir."

"Andre _Dragomir_!?" Dimitri said, the surprise clear in his tone.

"Yeah…" I said. "It was horrible."

"Was he...in pain? Like Mason was?"

"Yes." At this, silence followed. Dimitri pondered for a moment while I rubbed my hands over my face. "I didn't tell Lissa." I said, breaking the silence.

"Understandable." Dimitri replied.

"Really?" I said cautiously.

Dimitri looked up in my direction. "Of course. There is no need to cause any more suffering."

I smile somewhat sadly. "I guess." I said with a little sigh. "I just feel so helpless."

"Hey," he said, standing up and walking towards me. "We will figure this one out. We always do." he assured, reaching his hand out to brush against my cheek. His fingertips skimmed my skin and I leaned in to allow his palm to flatten out.

"Thank you."

"Always, my love."

I smiled. "Where were you earlier?" I asked, more curious than interrogatory.

"I went to speak to Alberta with Guardian O'Hara."

"Killian." I corrected.

He smiled. "Yes, Killian."

I laughed a little. "He's terrified of you as it is; the least you can do is make him feel a little more comfortable."

"With informaility?"

"Obviously. How'd you think we became so close?"

"Your misconduct definitely had something to do with it."

I grinned. "Exactly." His smiled again. "What is about me?"

"Hmmm?"

"Your meeting."

His smile grew. "Not everything is about you, you know."

I raised my eyebrows. "Was it?" I asked again, pressing the matter.

He paused. "Maybe…"

I laughed. "That's a yes."

He shook his head. "You are incorrigible."

I grinned. "What were you talking about?"

"I am not at liberty to say."

"Bullshit."

He cocked a brow. "Would you like to take this up with Guardian Petrov?"

I smiled and leaned forward so that my lips were millimeters from his as I whispered: "Gladly." before claiming his kiss. His tender kiss soon turned into a all-out make-out session as I pulled him closer and wrapped my dangling legs around his waist, keeping him as close as I could. He certainly didn't seem to mind. He kept his hands to the side of my face before running them back through my hair; said hair was tied back, but that was soon rectified with one smooth move and the hairband was tossed aside and my mane was set free. As for me, I kept my hands against his chest before running them down to rest on the hem of his trousers. I felt something sticking out of his pocket and with one touch I knew what it was.

"Is that a chocolate bar or are you just pleased to see me?"

He laughed against my lips, giving me a chaste but gentle kiss and pulled away. "Indeed. I wanted to make sure you were alright" He pulled it out and handed it over. I grabbed in a little greedily and made to get it open. He laughed. "Nice to see where your priorities lie…"

I looked up at him. "You know I love you, but I haven't eaten since this morning and you also know how hunger affects me."

He laughed. "Thanks." he said, trying to step back and detangle my legs from his waist, to little success.

I smiled and brought him closer again. "You really think a little bar of chocolate will turn my head from you?"

He smirked. "Don't demean the gift…"

I scowled. "There's no pleasing you."

He laughed. "Oh, there is." And he picked me up.

I wrapped my hands around his neck, my legs tightening around his waist. "Should you be doing this?" I asked.

"I am perfectly able."

"Please don't hurt yourself." I said.

He frowned a little. "Have a little faith, Roza." And he kneeled down, bringing us both to the floor and laying back so I straddled on top of him.

I smiled, inclining my head so that my long hair fell down only the one side and rekindled our former activity. "You know," I murmured, breaking away, "I do have a bed…"

"Funnily enough, I don't know where that is."

I chuckled. "I could show you."

At this he hesitated. I sighed. I knew he wanted us to be together, unburdened by the seemingly unending list of things that strove to keep us apart, but he was also too honourable and did not wish to breach his moral conduct again, however sweet the temptation was. I wasn't about to press it as I was more than content just have him alive and here with me given how easy the alternative could have been. It was in that moment that I was hit again with just how fortunate I was to have him here. He could have _died_. Or worse… But, no: here he was, the same tender and kind-hearted Dimitri Belikov that I knew and loved. What more could I want?

"I love you, Dimitri." I said, really feeling I hadn't said enough lately, not properly at least.

A small smile broke upon his face. "And I you, Roza."

I smiled and then saw it reflected in the black visor of his glasses. I frowned a little before brushing my hand against his cheek and resting on the frame. I could see, feel him, tense as I did. "May I?"

Hesitation followed, but a slight nod told me to proceed. I took off his specs and was met with his eyes: that cloudy, warm chocolate colour, unfocused yet still so powerful. They moved so quickly from side to side, as if desperately trying to find anything to look at, but to no avail. I smiled and brushed the pad of my thumb over his eyebrow. He closed his eyes. "I wish I could see you." he whispered.

I felt my heart lurch in my chest. "I look a mess right now."

It was a weak attempt at a joke, but it didn't go unnoticed by Dimitri's slight smile. "You were always beautiful to me."

I leaned my forehead against his. "We see more than just with our eyes."

He smiled. "I know…" he said trailing off as he did. I knew he knew. But, I supposed there is a difference between knowing and believing. "Sometimes I wish I could just stay asleep."

My chest tightened and I felt a lump form in my throat. "Dimitri…" I choked, lifting my head from his.

"No, not like that…" he amended, bringing his hands to cup my cheeks. "I mean... that is…" he pondered for a moment before pursing his lips and sighing a little. "What I mean is that waking up is hard. I dream. I dream of everything, anything really." He swallowed. "I dream of this school, of my home in Baia, of my family, of you. But I also dream of fields and trees and sunsets and all those tiny, insignificant things that I had never thought to really notice. But I don't just dream it, though, I see it. I see it is such bright colour, such vivacity, that it all seems so real. And then I wake up and I see nothing." He stopped. "Everytime I wake up, I am blind again."

I pressed my cheek into his palm, almost nuzzling it with the intent of comfort. "That doesn't have to be a bad thing."

He smiled and cocked a brow. "Are you about to tell me that there is no light without darkness?"

"I wasn't, but that is quite good."

He chuckled. "Roza…" he said, his fingertips ghosting along my hairline. "I wish I could see you again." he whispered like an echo. "But I am more than content to just to have you here."

I smiled and brushed my lips against his open pal. "Well, I don't have any intention of moving." I embraced him again and, in that moment, felt an overwhelming sense of peace - I daresay even optimism - and that perhaps everything could be just fine.

* * *

 **Hello my dear comrades in Comrade :D**

 **Nice to see you all again :) What did you think? Like it? Love it? Hate it? I ask with some unease as I am not quite as happy as I'd like to be with this chapter (hence the wait) but I didn't want to keep you guys waiting for long.**

 **Not much to say really (rare for me, I know :3) Thus, I shall keep this short and sweet: hope all is well and shall hopefully speak again in about a week or so :)**

 **Here's wishing you all the best,**

 **Mariarty**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy or anything surrounding it (but I do own this plot :D)**

* * *

RPOV

Or perhaps not.

Thankfully though, the problem to which I refer had nothing to do with ghosts, darkness or blindness: the problem was of a much more normal level.

Avery Lazar was in love with Adrian Ivashkov.

It was almost comical how normal an issue it was given the rest of the crap that was going on. Though I suppose that it was all a matter of perspective as while it was positively normal, mundane even, for me, it was a lot more to a certain Christian Ozera.

"It is getting ridiculous: she follows him everywhere and laughs, oh God does she laugh! At everything! Adrian will begin to think he's actually funny the way she's giggling and fawning over him like a starving hound drooling over a piece of meat."

I took another bite of my sandwich. "You know, you are in a relationship."

He looked up. "Yeah, so?"

"So why is this bothering you?"

He glowered. "Because _I_ have to watch it. She's Lissa's friend and for some bizarre reason, Adrian is ours, thus I am forced to partake in the observation of this gag-worthy display."

Another bite. "Aren't you being a little melodramatic?"

"Absolutely not!"

"And hypocritical."

He scowled. "Lissa and I have never fawned over each other like that."

I scoffed, nearly choking on the bite I had just taking. "Oh, I beg to differ."

His scowl deepened. "I hate you."

"Right back at you, Fireboy."

He grunted and flopped back on the grass to cast his eyes up towards the starry night sky. "Aren't you supposed to be in class?"

I stopped chewing and countered. "Aren't you?"

He poked his head up and grinned. "Free period, mate: what's your excuse?"

I grimaced. "I'm in hiding."

"Ah, from the Leprechaun."

That was, in part, true. Killian hadn't done anything wrong - not at all - if anything, he was doing too good a job. I needed some peace and quiet; some time just on my own without him looming over me like a fly buzzing over a dying carcass. It wasn't just him - with the darkness keeping me on the verge of crazy and ghosts popping up left, right and centre, I _really_ missed my independence: the ability to run and around and basically do what the hell I liked. Ironically, with those very things going on, it hadn't really crossed my mind too much, but now it had quelled a little, it was really starting to bother me. So I decided to take some action: I waited until the between period, lost Killian in the crowd, ditched my next lesson and came out to the back of the running field to eat my lunch in peace.

Then Christian showed up and gone was my peace.

Nah, it wasn't too bad. To be completely honest, I didn't really mind having Christian about given that he was perhaps the only person in my life not directly connected to a point of strife. And ever since the Field Experience fiasco, I would be lying to say we hadn't come a little closer. I definitely understood him a little better which had manifested itself into a strangely compatible friendship and that was okay. He was, to me, like the music in my headphones: undisruptive and easily ignored, but a nonetheless pleasant addition to my day.

"Did you finally manage to patch things up with Adrian?" I asked, having finished my sandwich.

The response came twofold: with an initial incoherent grunt followed by a "Yeah, we're alright. But I still don't like him."

I hummed in agreement. "Nor do I."

A snort followed. "Liar."

I sighed and flopped back beside him so that we both were looking up at the cloudless sky. "It must be better now that Lissa's cut back on the magic."

He closed his eyes. "So-so. Now she just feels completely guilt-ridden. She just…" He stopped and opened his eyes, his brows falling into a frown before becoming more settled. "She's just too caring: it's what I both love and loathe about her."

I smiled. "You and me both. Though I'm glad she's cut back, for her sake more than anything else."

"Avery seemed a little disappointed."

I blinked. "What?"

He shrugged. "She just was a lot quieter after she found out."

"Why?"

He huffed. "I dunno - she just seemed a little miffed, that's all."

"Huh." I said, refocusing on the stars above. Why would Avery be bothered? Maybe Christian was just over exaggerating; after all, he wasn't exactly a fan of Avery if the last twenty minutes were anything to go by. Urgh, no - not thinking about it. I did not need another problem in my life. I had come for peace and that's what I very much intended on doing.

"You get that maths test back?"

Christian groaned. "Professor Bailey is an arse. No way did I fail that."

I cocked a brow. "It's maths: you're either right or your not."

He scoffed. "Method marks, Hathaway: it's all about the method marks."

"Being right also helps." I pointed out.

I felt his elbow jab my side. "What you get then."

"D-."

"Oh, that is barely a pass!"

"Still a pass." He snorted and shook his head. I laughed. "It was a stupid test anyway. I mean, when are we going to need the Product Rule?"

"Point." He agreed. "Though I would also argue when are we ever going to need the inner workings of King Lear, but Amanda seems pretty set on it."

"Maybe we can just agree that school is stupid."

" _Academia_ is stupid." Christian amended.

I nodded. "Yeah, training is definitely not."

He sighed. "You are so lucky."

"Come again?"

He smiled. "You. Dhampirs. Even Lissa. I mean, I get the objection to having one set career path, but it is nice to know that your life has meaning. Has a purpose. Mine is all over the place." He said, resting his forearm against his forehead and stretching out his back.

"You'll be fine. You'll find something, even if it isn't immediately obvious." I said.

"Does Belikov know what he's doing?"

I sat up and glared at him. "I beg your pardon."

Christian, realising he had hit a nerve, was quick to recover. "Woah, not like that. I know he is trying to continue the guardian thing, but does he have a plan if it falls through?"

"It won't."

He shot me a look. "Rose, get your head out the sand: there is a chance that this won't work and you know it. Disabled guardians aren't common for a reason. My aunt knew a guy, Patrick I think his name was. Anyway, it was at some conference a couple of years back and this guardian lost his leg in the attack that occurred. They stitched him up okay, but sent him home. He couldn't fight. He wanted to, but he couldn't. And worse still, he couldn't accept that and nor could his buddies. They brought him right back, gave him a prosthetic, even got his brother to help him train, but when they were under attack again, that prosthetic broke and he was killed. I know you don't want to think about it, Rose, but Belikov is _blind._ That makes him vulnerable, no matter which way you look at it."

I could feel my anger still within me but deep down, I knew he was right. Of course he was. It was the unspoken reality of the situation now spoken in plain English. With the esteem that I held Dimitri in, it was sometimes hard to remember that he was still just a man. But a man he was and now one restricted and hindered. To me, of course, he was still everything; nothing had changed in my eyes, but it was cruelly ironic that love had blinded me to the reality of the situation.

I closed my eyes tightly, willing the worries of my life to disappear into the night. Pathetic, maybe, but I didn't care. "I know. I know he is vulnerable, but Dimitri _is_ Guardian Belikov: it is what he wants, what he is good at and what he knows."

"I know, Rose." Christian said, crossing his legs and sitting up properly. "But just in case he can't be Guardian Belikov, let him be happy somewhere else."

The distant wail of the school bell caught both our attention and broke the silence that had followed Christian's last statement. Christian sighed and pushed himself to his feet, brushing off the dirt and mud from his trousers. "Magic time." he said, picking up his bag from the floor.

I smiled and nodded, knowing that I really ought not to miss my curricular training. "Christian." I said.

"Mhmm?" He said looking up.

I bit my lip. "Thank you."

He smiled, neither mockingly nor sarcastically. "Anytime, Hathaway. Anytime."

* * *

A(drian)POV

 _When I consider how my light is spent…_ I sighed and swirled the glass of whiskey in my hand. I always felt contemplative after a glass of the sharp, golden liquor. The good stuff too: none of that cheap shite. Nah, this one came from the Misty Isle itself - Skye's sweet kiss.

"What are you doing?" came a voice through my consciousness.

I did not open my eyes, nor did I cease the gentle tilting of my head as I imagined myself swept up in a soothing sea breeze. "Retiring to Scotland."

The voice laughed and the sound of footsteps grew louder until they found themselves in front of me. I could smell her calonne brush over me and merge with the natural scent of the water-tinted wind that I had pictured for myself as she bent down to inspect the opened bottle on the table beside me.

"Urgh, how can you drink that stuff."

I smiled and opened my eyes. "Ah, my dear Avery: you have much to learn."

She scoffed and sat down on the armchair beside me. "What are you doing here?" She asked again, gesturing to the abandoned common room on the third floor. Nobody was in here, not least because lessons were still occurring, but also no-one could be bothered to make the climb so the space had been slowly gathering dust. I like to think it was I who resurrected it: brought it from its dusty ashes and back into the light! For this had become the place in which Vasilissa and I had been practising, nurturing her talent and even when I had expressly told her to stop, this was the place I found her in, still practising for Belikov. Yet now she had stopped - and thankfully so - and so the room had fallen back into its lonely and ignored state.

Perfect for some midday drinking.

"I am enjoying the peace." I said, taking another sip.

She frowned. "What, no wardens?"

I shook my head. "I do believe that they are more concerned with the communal spaces on the lower floors."

Her eyes brightened. "Oh, jackpot!" She said, jumping up and pulling out a pack of cigarettes.

I chuckled and watched her light one. "I think they might notice that."

She shrugged and took a drag. I smiled, enjoying her carefree attitude. Avery was so uncomplicated, it was a blessing to be sure. If only Rose could be more like that; then again, if Rose were any less Rose she would not be the one my heart so fluttered for. Ah, alas.

"So what's this I hear about Lissa? She's not, what did you call it...practising?" Avery asked, perching on the side of the armchair.

I sighed away my thoughts of Rose and turned my attention to Avery. "Spirit is an unstable one - it can so easily send us off the edge. My cousin needed to stop, for her own sake."

"But she could do so many cool things."

I smiled. "Magic, in whatever form it takes, has its price and its limits."

"It doesn't have to." she said with a smile, blowing out a puff of smoke.

I sighed and chucked back the rest of my drink, feeling the burn slowly ooze its way down my throat to rest in my stomach. I lingered a little before placing the glass down and deciding to be sociable. "How is Reed?"

Avery shot me a worried look. "W-what?"

I frowned. "Was your brother not admitted to the hospital this earlier this evening?"

She looked relieved. "Oh, that...yeah, he's fine."

My frown stayed. "He does seem to have a...disposition for violence." I said.

She sighed loudly. "Yeah, he was always like that. Guess he takes after my dad." She said taking another drag.

I nodded my head in agreement, after all, I could well relate to the bad-dad situation. "We all have our ways." I said, eyeing up the half empty bottle of whiskey.

Avery's expression suddenly turned contemplative. "Why do you drink so much? Is it because of you dad or…?"

I laughed - well, it was more of a chuckle combined with a scoff. "My father is responsible for many of my idiosyncrasies, but it would be too easy to blame him for them all." I nodded over to the bottle. "It numbs the darkness."

Her frown deepened. "Your magic. It...numbs it…?"

I leaned back. "Makes it all the bearable. And it makes me a far more desirable catch." I added with a wink.

She rolled her eyes, but I could tell I had sparked her intrigue. "How drunk do you have to be?"

I shrugged. "Not very. Just enough to make the tension go away. Madness doth offer no overly-exciting enticements." I said, leaning back against the chair.

At this, her tone changed. "Perhaps I could offer you a different enticement…"

I opened my eyes. A wide and a little unsavoury grin spread across my face. "Why, Miss Lazar…" I said, tilting my head down to look at her. "Are you about to seduce me?"

She smiled and blew smoke from her pouted lips. "Do you want me to?"

I cocked a brow. "Ah, if I told you what I wanted, what would be the point in seduction?"

She grinned and put out her cigarette on the coaster beside her. "Maybe there is no point at all…"

I shook my head. "I am a man of many levels."  
She stood up. "I don't think you are."

I mock gasped. "Why, I am hurt!"

She bent down, her lips millimeters from my own. "I think you are as simple as simple can be." And she closed the gap between us. I let her, but didn't give to much in return. She wasn't a bad kisser; in fact, she was perfectly fine. Under normal circumstances, I would have taken her then and there. However, under normal circumstances, I would not be thinking about a certain brown-haired lass who was very much off the market. Under normal circumstances, I would not feel so bad as I kissed a girl who held me in some affection but I not in return.

Then again, under normal circumstances, I would be far more drunk.

I pulled away, closed my eyes and looked up at the ceiling. When I reopened them, I saw Avery's frown in front of me. I smiled. "Many levels, Lazar." I said standing up and headed to the door. "Many levels."

* * *

RPOV

"Hathaway!"

Oh shit.

I stopped and turned, a warm smile on my face. "Good evening, Guardian O'Hara. How are you today?"

He was not happy, that much was obvious. In fact, I would go so far to venture that he was furious, which was not something I had seen on the kind-hearted Irishman before and I did not suit him at all. "What the hell?"

"Look, I just needed-"

"I don't care." he said, cutting me off. "I don't care what you think you 'needed'."

I frowned and put my hands on my hips, not backing down even slightly. "I _needed_ some space, okay? A little time on my own."

He crossed his arms over his chest. It was a warm night so he was without his forest-green coat which would have toned down the raging expression on his face, now emphasised by the folded arms and the rigid posture. "And that was worth compromising Guardian Belikov's training?"

I snapped my head up. "I beg your pardon?"

He, uncompromising, continued to glare down at me. "You wandered off: you broke the agreement. I should report this. Actually, I _have_ to report this. And given that it is a complete breach of the conditions of this arrangement," he said gesturing between us, "punishment must follow and that puts Guardian Belikov at risk given that he is your only perk."

I froze. Who was this man and what had he done to my Hazza? This was far more serious than the slap on the wrist I was expecting. _Oh, shit, shit, shit!_ "You wouldn't…" I said, unsure and wary.

"I have to." came the cool and indifferent reply.

"Killian…"

"It is protocol."

That set me off. "It's his fucking life!"

He met my eyes. "You broke the rules, Rose." He said with no little firmness. "Again" He added. "Yet again, you have proved yourself incapable of following a simple set of instructions."

"Look, I'm sorry, I give you my word-"

"Your word means nothing." He said. I felt like I had just been kicked in the stomach, so much so that no coherent word came out of my open mouth. I watched as Killian's jaw tensed; he looked away for a moment before fixing his jaw and looking back. "Do you think I want to do this?"

"Then don't."

"That's not the point." He snapped. A moment passed and his tension broke into exasperation. "You haven't learnt..."

I groaned. "I know I did wrong and need to be punished-"

"No." He cut me off so sharply that it made me jump. "You don't get it. Everything has consequences, whether good, bad or somewhere in between. We do not live in a black and white world and we certainly do not live in a world where you can do whatever the hell you please, whether it be skipping class or running into a bloody cave or whatever else takes your fancy. Jesus Christ, Rose: grow up." He turned his back and ran his hands through his hair.

I stayed silent. I was going to reuse my 'protocol sucks' speech from years previous, but even I could see that perhaps would not be the best move. Killian continued to stand facing away from me. For the first time in our acquaintance, I was actually scared of Guardian Killian O'Hara; with his awkward yet still kind ways giving off a distinct sense of naivety, I had severely underestimated the man. His friendliness had made me forget that he was an actual guardian, as in, Dimitri-level guardian. He had been through the very process I had yet to complete and had come out the other end as a fully certified and experienced guardian. In my head, I had made him to be just one of my mates - a pal - rather than what he was: my superior.

And that mistake, that miscalculation of standing, had now left me at his mercy.

He still was looking away when I heard him sigh so loudly it morphed into a groan. In a blink, he had turned and looked at me dead in the eye. "Right, I am not going to say a word to-"

"Thank you!" the words slipped out before I could stop them.

Killian didn't looked at all happy at my interruption but clenched his jaw and continued. "I am not doing this for you. That man has suffered enough and I will not be responsible for taking away the thing that gets him out of his room in the morning." he said. "But this is not for you, Hathaway - you got that?

"Yeah, yeah, I got it-"

"And you are going to have to do some serious making up for this."

I frowned.

He glared. "I mean it, Rose. Recklessness is a sure way to get yourself killed. Not to mention those around you."

I scowled. "Fine." So much for feeling sorry for the man, Killian O'Hara could rot in hell for all I cared after that particular statement. Of course I cared about those around me, and _of course_ I knew my actions had consequences. I wasn't a fucking child! And yet still people insisted on talking to me like I was one; like I was just going to run riot at any given point. It was insulting. It was patronising. I fucking hated it.

And so, whatever good mood I might have obtained by my little chat with Christian in the field was promptly shut down. I was in a foul mood for the rest of the day, not even Lissa could cheer me up. Killian stuck to me like he had impaled me with a whaling harpoon and didn't look the least bit sorry about it. I felt a pang of regret about the whole thing: for as a result of me, gone was the happy Leprechaun and in had come the fiery Celt.

And with this Celt went my freedom.

* * *

A(drian)POV

 _I wandered lonely as a cloud…_ Ah, solace. Peace. Quiet. Silence the friend who could turn feind at will, yet not today - silence stayed my friend.

I groaned. The feeling of yourself sobering up was always a depressing feeling. Added to mine was the looming presence of a magic that sought to both raise me up and kill me at the same time. I felt like a mess and, as such, was glad that I had stoed away in my room, away from any witnesses to my reality.

I lay on my bed and looked at the ceiling; the strange patterns swirling in my head, almost hypnotising me to sleep. But I was not tired. I closed my eyes and allowed the magic to run through me, reaching out for Rose but unable to find her. Not asleep. _Probably screwing Belikov,_ my malicious and jealous mind thought and I was too much of both those things to feel bad about it. I hummed and began searching out for another victim, just to spook (I was bored, leave me alone). There were not many asleep, it was only half three in the morning: hardly a suitable time to be asleep in my opinion, but all to their own.

I felt a strong connection form and I decided to pounce. The world molding around me as quickly as it did told me that the person was in a deep sleep. _At half three!? What kind of loser-_ I cut myself off as I found myself staring into the eyes of another.

"Adrian?"

The _working_ eyes of another…

"Belikov."

* * *

 **Hello my dear comrades in Comrade :D**

 **Dun, dun, DUNNN! What sorcery is this? Dimitri can see? Well, sort of at least :3 And poor Rose... Shall I ask? Like it? Love it? Hate it?**

 **Sorry for the delay chums, I am actually in my Freshers' Week so haven't had too much time to write, hence the slightly shorter chapter and more filler style. Though, I must say, writing for Adrian again was quite fun so perhaps expect some more of that in the coming chapters (and maybe some others if I'm feeling adventurous ;))**

 **I'm actually deciding to shake up my plot a bit, so I'm writing a little unscripted at this point. I recently reread my English coursework and when I was thinking over it, I kinda became a little obsessed over the idea of justice and punishment and wanted to incorporate it in this story, given how it would fit with Rose's character. It also allowed me to give Killian a bit of a backbone which is always good as I think he was dipping a little :)**

 **Anyway, I shall love you and leave you. Here's wishing you all the very best,  
** **Mariarty**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy or anything surrounding it (but I do own this plot :D)**

* * *

RPOV

"I am sorry." I said again.

Killian remained indifferent. "No matter how many times you say it, Rose: I am not going anywhere."

"That's not the problem here," I replied. "The problem is that you don't believe me, so I'm going to say it until you do: I am sorry, Guardian O'Hara. I was tired, irritated and overwhelmed: it was a moment of weakness."

"Rose, I don't care."

"Well, aren't you charming." I muttered, loud enough for him to hear, but it did nothing to his placidity. I groaned and pulled out a pastry that I had nicked from the canteen at breakfast from my pocket.

That got Killian's attention.

"Rose!"

"What? It was just going to be thrown out anyway." I said, taking a massive bite. "Don't tell me that this could have got someone killed too."

He snapped his head up. "Do not make jokes about that."

I glared up at him. "Then stop being such an arse." I took another bite.

I could tell I had pissed him off, but he - in a very Dimitri-like way - composed himself and continued looking forward. "You are such a child."

I glowered. I wanted to retort, but decided that it would not be in my best interests. Instead, I slumped further on the bench we were sitting on, munched on my pastry before visiting Lissa.

She was with Avery. Again. Maybe it was just jealousy but I really didn't like Avery, however entertaining her infatuation with a certain Ivashkov was. They were in the third floor common room, the place where Lissa and Adrian had practised Spirit, though I doubted Avery knew anything about that.

"...you just have to be patient. Persist, but patience is key. Particularly with someone like Adrian." I felt Lissa say followed by the feeling of cool glass against her lips and then the burn of alcohol run through her body. This felt wrong - not in Lissa, but to me. Lissa never drunk, or very rarely at the most. I would take me hours to get her even to touch a fruity cider, but with Avery it felt natural to her. As I was in her head, I could feel how normal it seemed.

Avery sighed. "No offense, but fuck that. Adrian will come around soon, I know it." she said, taking a glug of whiskey.

Lissa laughed. "I am glad to see you have such confidence."

Avery frowned. "You didn't? I mean, come on, Princess: you are _way_ out of Christian's league."

 _Punch her._ I felt myself thinking.

"I mean, just look at him: he is pathetic."

 _Fucking sock the bitch._

Lissa too didn't really appreciate that comment and waivered a little, before making the completely wrong choice: she smiled and said. "I guess, but he's really sweet."

 _Sweet! Vasilisa Dragomir what the fuck are you doing! You love him!_

Avery just shrugged. "All to their own I guess."

Lissa took another drink before there was a gentle rap at the door. Frowning she looked up and Avery looked around before being irritated with the sight. "Reed? What do you want?"

Reed Lazar: when I had met him, he was a dick, to put it frankly. He was a raging ball of anger and fury and since then, he had been frequently disciplined for 'antisocial and violent conduct' and had been hospitalised twice. Clearly, he had a problem and he was not afraid to use his fists to solve it.

Which is why it was so surprising to see him quivering.

And not just a little quiver, this was full on fear he was exhibiting. Stood there, he had his arms wrapped around his waist, his eyes were wide and frantic; their reddened state indicative that he had been crying. He shivered and shook like he was in the arctic circle in only a pair of shorts and a tee-shirt and he spoke in such a staccato manner that it made it seem he was afraid of every word that left his lips. "A-avery. Can we talk?" he stuttered out edging closer into the room.

Lissa was concerned to say the least; I was re-evaluating everything I thought I knew. This could _not_ be the same boy and yet…

To my greater shock, Avery seemed completely unfazed by the whole thing. She cocked a brow over to her terrified brother. "What is the matter with you now?"

Reed wasn't looking at her, wasn't even listening. His frantic eyes remained fixed on Lissa's as though she were some alien creature. His face contorted into an expression of horror: with his mouth wide open, nostrils flared, eyebrows arched and sweat covering the whole surface of his face. Lissa, I could feel, felt unnerved and a little scared herself. But Reed's gaze did not avert.

"I hear them, sister." he said, running his trembling hands through his greasy and messy hair; clutching the strands with his fingers as though he were desperately trying to hold on to something. "They won't stop - the voices - the people - they won't stop. I hear them. I hear them."

Avery, now a little more interested in her brother's condition, finished her drink then rose to walk towards her brother. "I think you might need to lie down."

Reed jumped away from her, still looking at Lissa. "They don't want to come back… It hurts, it hurts them so much. It hurts. It hurts…"

"Simon!" Avery called out.

A guardian of medium built, black hair and silver eyes jumped into the room. I had seen him around but did not know who he was. He headed straight for Reed and, with no warning, smacked the back of his head. Reed's frantic eyes stilled and rolled back as he fell to the floor unconscious. Simon picked him up and, rather un-gallantly, tossed him over his shoulder. Avery stopped him before he could leave, whispering something in his ear.

Lissa, for her part, remained frozen: paralysed to her chair. She did not know what to think, let alone what to do or say.

 _That poor boy! What has happened to him? Why wasn't Avery more worried? That's her brother!_

I felt myself urging Lissa on. _Yes, Lissa. Walk away. Can't you see it: she is bad news. Walk away. Walk away._

I felt Lissa dither, hesitate and stop. She looked back up at Avery, who had finished her whispered conversation with her Guardian/Terminator. Lissa watched as Reed was carried out the door while Avery sat back down in the chair and poured another glass of scotch.

"Sorry about that, Reed's not been feeling well of late. Want another?" she said, offering the decantor to Lissa.

I felt the urge to scream. _Walk away. Walk away. Walk away._

Lissa hesitated before extending out her glass. Avery smiled. "So, where were we?"

" _Rose!"_

I jumped out of Lissa's head, physically torn back into my own body. I opened my eyes to Killian's face in my own. "Rose - are you alright? You weren't moving… I thought…" the concern was clear on his face and the indifferent Celt from earlier had gone in place of the awkward, but warm-hearted Killian from before.

But, of course, his timing was completely off.

"For fuck's sake, can I not even sleep in peace!" I said pushing him off me, saying 'sleep' to save us all the trouble of trying to explain the intricacies of the bond Lissa and I had to yet another outside party. I tried to refocus on getting back into her head, but something was blocking me. Whether it was the alcohol on her end, or the anger at mine, I could not say.

I got up and grunted. "We have to find Lissa."

Killian jumped up and grabbed my arm. "Rose, stop. The Princess is in a lesson, you know this."

My eyes widened; she was supposed to be in her Russian Studies class and instead was sciving with Avery. _What had that bitch done to my best friend!?_

"We need to go, now." I said, marching through the corridor, pushing past the lingering students who were on study-break.

Killian was still holding onto my arm, stumbling after me. "You cannot interrupt a lesson just to speak to your friend."

"Killia-"

"I forbid it, Hathaway."

"She's not in the bloody-"

I, having to spend all my concentration and energy trying to drag Killian along, was not fully looking where I was going and, as a result, the inevitable happened: I crashed into someone.

But this was no ordinary someone.

"Oh, my gosh, I am so sorry, Dimitri."

Killian had let go of my arm and rushed to Dimitri's side. I too saw all my anger dissipate and I crawled over to help him up. Dimitri, for his part, was in no way happy. He shoved us both off and felt around for his stick. The entire corridor was an eerie silence as all conversations ceased and the lingering students turned to gawk at the spectacle in front of them.

I felt my anger rise again and I jumped to my feet. "Oi! Have some damned respect and fuck off!"

The crowd dispersed, but I knew the damage was done. Dimitri was up and holding his stick, but I could see his tension and anger. Even Killian was keeping his distance.

"Dimitri…"

"Goodnight, Rose." he said, walking straight past us. I both let and watched him go, walking through the corridor and around the bend. I closed my eyes and felt horrendous. Dimitri was not one to be excessively proud but that I had certainly caused him much humiliation. I wanted to run after him and make it all okay, but I knew it wouldn't help.

"Rose..." Killian's voice broke through my thoughts.

"I need to find Lissa." I said, reopening my eyes and turning back on my original path.

"Rose, I can't let you waltz into a lesson."

"She is not in the fucking lesson, Hazza." I said as calmly as I could.

He hesitated, before nodding. "Okay then."

* * *

D(imitri)POV

Snow.

Such a strange substance - how something so impossibly vast could form from such tiny flakes had always amazed me. And each flake too, as different as they were numerous. They fell around me like floating ash after an eruption, swaying in the breeze across my clear vision. The sky was like a white canvas: blank and unmarred, as though it rested in a sustained state of purity and opportunity. I felt my boots dig into the ground; snow falling and creating a dip around them while I could still feel the cobble of the street beneath. Stone hidden under a white sheet: I saw the buildings before me covered likewise. They were empty but still just the echo of the people that had lived there kept them alive and warm, something the snow could not hide.

Baia.

My home. It was strange how much of it I could remember. I had not been back for so long. Perhaps it had changed and I, like an old software system, was lagging behind. It was certainly a lot quieter than I remembered it - three sisters always made for rowdy house. I smiled as I heard the sound of their laughter echo through the breeze. But there were no people before me: what stood was the shell of my home, the foundation if you will. I was not sure why it was just that I dreamt of that night; it seemed such a trivial thing, and yet I felt it was so much more. It was my home, empty or not, old or new, and I was so content to see it again, particularly after the day I had just had.

A light caught my attention and I turned to see an orange smeer expand across the white sky as dawn bled through the flawless skin. I squinted a little, but did not close my eyes. The sun rose and bloomed like a blossoming flower and I watched it all in perfect clarity.

I felt a smile twitch across my face, but it was soon replaced by a frawn. A figure stood in my vision: alien to me yet male to be sure. I felt myself tense and assume a natural stance when the figure grew in lucidity.

My eyes widened. "Adrian?"

He seemed just as surprised. "Belikov." Part of me wondered if this was my imagination; I actually stopped to ask myself if I was actually _dreaming_ about Adrian Ivashkov. But his comprehension, liviness and general distaste for what was around him suggested otherwise. "Jesus, you couldn't have picked a warmer spot." He said, folding his arms across and rubbing them to keep himself warm.

I was too perplexed to change my frowning expression. I had never experienced what Rose called a 'dream walk'. All I knew is that she had hated them so I elected to remain wary of what was to come. "It is my home."

"Your what now?"

I eyed him again. "My hometown."

He raised his eyebrows and looked around. "Oh, nice." He paused for a moment. "Where are all the people?"

I inclined my head, curious to see just how real he appeared. "Not here…" I said, not realising it at the time, but notably trailing off.

He rolled his eyes. "Well, I can see that."

I stayed quiet, still baffled by his presence. I had seen him before, and once upon a time his presence would have been considered the absolute last thing I wanted, but a new feeling had emerged deep within me, completely contrary to all former sentiments and perhaps even reason itself:

Joy.

I was overjoyed to see him. To actually _see_ him. Dreaming was one thing, but this...this was something more. This was _real._ In a dream, I had to rely on my imagination and however good it was, it could not compare with the real thing. Albeit, the real thing was Adrian, but I was not complaining.

"Yo: earth to Belikov…"

I blinked and looked away, slightly embarrassed that I had just spent a good few moments staring at him.

He just flashed a grin. "See something you like?" My head snapped up and with it went the joy. He recoiled a little. "Woah, joking."

I eyed him skeptically. "What are you doing here?"

He sighed and fell back against the lamppost behind him: the one Karo used to meet her friends by… "Bored." he said, shrugging and scraping his shoe against that post, unaware of its meaning. "Not nearly enough drama going on to keep my poor, tormented soul entertained."

I stifled my reaction.

He sighed a little overdramatically, before frowning. "Although, my present situation warrants some attention: what are you doing here?"

I cocked a brow. "Correct me if I am wrong, but I do believe this is my dream."

He smiled. "Right you are, but not the point: what are you doing _asleep._ "

At this I hesitated, mask in place as Rose would say. I rarely had the inclination to share what I was feeling, even to those I cared about, let alone to the man I was sure I would have no strong affection for.

He sighed. "Shesh, you're a barrel of fun. I think I'd rather be asleep."

"Maybe you should." I said, perhaps a little callously.

He cracked a smile and shot what was clearly a knowing look. "Nah, this is far more interesting…"

I kept my guard of indifference out but frowned inwardly. "In what way?"

He tutted. "No matter how hard you try and hide, the answer is obvious." He hesitated for a moment before resolving. "I would even go so far to say that a _blind_ man could _see_ it."

I snapped my head towards him, my anger peaking such that I actually felt my blood begin to boil. "What?"

He, sensibly, took a step back, off the lamppost, but kept the smile on his face. "You can see, Belikov. Everyone dreams of that which they don't have."

I tensed. "Get out of my head." I ordered.

He smiled again. "And that is why you are asleep so early: you came to see again."

"Get out of my head." I repeated, gritting my teeth a little. I now understood Rose's distaste for these things.

"Does Rose know?"

"Know what?" I snapped.

He scowled. "Know about the dreaming."

"That I can see? Of course."

He cocked a brow. "Does she how frequently you do it?"

I felt my eyes raise to a glare and for a second I regretted the fact that looks could not kill. "What are you talking about?"

He scoffed. "Come now, cradle-robber - _no-one_ gets to sleep at this time in the morning _without_ practise."

I continued to glare. I did not like Adrian for a number of reasons: he was lazy, irresponsible, had no regard or appreciation for regulation and duty and also happened to have his own affection for the love of my life, just to name a few. But, I was not so bigoted and blinded by my overall distaste to knock credit from where it was due and with Adrian, I could not fault his ability to read people. It was an admirable quality to be sure and one made even more so given that it had survived the ever-growing list of draining and damaging effects of Spirit. Adrian was perceptive, analytical and clever and right now, he was using his talent to see right through me.

I both hated and admired it.

"Can you blame me?" I decided to ditch the mask and throw away the formality: it served neither of us to keep up with this facade.

Adrian nodded. "I understand." he said. He turned a little and fashioned a bench from seemingly nowhere. I could not stop my eyes widening in shock, but did not say anything as he flopped down upon it. "Is this really your home?"

I blinked and looked around, just accepting the bench as yet another part of Spirit's side-effects. "In part. At least, it is what I can remember of it."

He wrinkled his nose. "Looks a little shitty to me."

I scowled a little, but shook my head and waved it off; honestly, it was quite nice to have an honest answer. Rose aside, everyone I knew seemed to be walking on eggshells around me and it was getting a little dull. "I do apologize." I said sarcastically.

He smirked and then sighed. "I suppose it's not your fault." He said while stretching his arm out against the back of the bench; his fingers tiptoeing along its rim as his expression turned to contemplation. "Guardian Belikov, I do hope you know that what I am about to say is in no way derived from malice…"

I frowned. Never had Adrian sounded so formal, nor so serious. I nodded slowly.

He hesitated, before continuing. "You need to cut back."

I cocked a brow. "Cut back? On what?"

"On this." he said, gesturing around him.

"Заткнись!" I couldn't help myself.

"Успокаиваться, Дмитри!" He replied with equal force, jumping up from the bench to stand before me, the bench itself vanishing behind him. "I know what it's like. How good it feels to just stop hurting for five seconds. I know what it's like! But I also know what happens after: the unending need to have it over and over again, but then it is not enough."

"Mind your own business."

"Oh piss off, Belikov! If I minded my own business, Lissa would be derailed, Rose would be locked away in some psychiatric hole or dead in a ditch by now and apparently I now have to look out for you because your too blind to do it yourself."

I felt my arms ready for a punch, but resisted it on principal. "Watch your tongue, Ivashkov."

"Or what? You gonna hit me? Do it: see if I care. It won't stop it though." he hissed. Twitching towards me, I could see his passion, his envy and his madness. "I know. I know what addiction looks like and I know how it feels. But I also know how it ends and it ain't pretty. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, not even you." he spat, scuffing the ground. The squeaking echo bounced through the room and caught us both off guard. Adrian blinked and looked around while I tried to curb my anger. I wanted nothing more than to smack him to the ground and we were dreaming so no-one would now, but I knew that was as murky as water could get and I was no way going to indulge it. Instead, I followed in Adrian's confusion and assessed the world around me.

"What in God's name…" he said, turning to me. "Is this a gym?"

I inhaled deeply, feeling the heat of my rage cool and my heart-rate slow. Opening my eyes from whence they had closed, I surveyed the new environment, unmistakable to me as the place where I took refuge when I found myself needing a sanctuary. In our ire, neither of us had noticed how the snowy landscape of my Siberian home has melted away, dissipated and moulded into the new place with which we now stood. "It is the academy gym." I said, bringing my hand to rest against my forehead in exasperation, realising that my dreaming state did little aided my desire to keep my personal life private.

Not that Adrian seemed particularly interested in my personal life. Well, perhaps he was interested, but he certainly was not impressed by the whole experience. His frown deepened. "You dream about your workplace? Man, you are even more boring than I thought. Is this seriously worth risking your sanity for? I mean, what is so good about-" he cut his little rant off as the answer presented itself before us both.

Rose.

My heart fluttered as I saw her run by; preserved like an old portrait, faded over time, yet still so beautiful. Even after the encounter earlier today, I never ceased to find peace with her. She smiled, that smirkish smile she did so well, and winked. _"You coming, comrade?"_ Her mouth did not move, but I could hear her voice so clearly.

"Huh, not bad." Adrian said, gawking over Rose.

I snapped my head around and glared. "Back off."

He turned back and scowled. "Can you seriously not take a compliment when it's given to you."

I glowered. "It's been a long day, Ivashkov - do not test me."

He raised his arms. "Backing off, fear not." he said, before they were lowered and his head inclined. "She's not real, though, Belikov. None of this is."

I glanced over to the Rose of my imagination. She was still smiling, her hair falling gently around her face like a frame. "I know." I turned away and forced myself to look back at Adrian. "She's all I've got though."

He frowned. "Bullshit. Dimitri, you've got Rose. As in, _the_ Rose Hathaway. She's yours. Don't replace her with a fantasy."

I closed my eyes and nodded, a small smile dancing on my lips. "Thank you, Adrian. I needed that." And I genuinely meant it.

"Particularly because you are not the only one who wants Rose."

I scowled. "I did not need that." And there went my gratitude.

He grinned. "Just a gentle reminder, друг."

"Please leave."

"Haha," he chuckled. "Well then, since you asked so nicely..."

"Good night, Adrian." I said a little forcefully.

He smiled. "Just don't forget what I said, Belikov. Addiction takes many forms, but the outcome is always the same." he said. "Sweet dreams."

And with that, he disappeared.

* * *

 **Hello my dear comrades in Comrade :D**

 **Good afternoon, dear chums. How'd it all going? Oh, and what did you think: like it? Love it? Hate it?**

 **I seem to find myself in a permanent state of apology on this site given how infrequently I update. I assure you, I am trying xD Also, I realise the chronology of this chapter and the one before is a little messy - we are still in the same day (or night as it is Vampiric scheduling) if anyone was a little confused. The DPOV follows the APOV on the previous chapter but Rose's perspective is before Dimitri's dream and Lissa and Avery's conversation is just after Adrian leaves Avery in the previous chapter. (Make sense?) Sorry, I think this is quite an accurate depiction of what's going on in my head at the minute, but it should all flatten out eventually xD**

 **Anyway, here's wishing you all the best,**

 **Mariarty**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy or anything surrounding it (but I do own this plot :D)**

* * *

RPOV

I powered through the corridors of St Vladimir's Academy, unwilling to waste any amount of time dallying about to fill my looming babysitter in. To his credit, Killian remained remarkably silent as I effectively did a power-lap of the school, aiming for the western staircase up to the third floor. I continually tried to make contact with Lissa, but to no success. Since Lissa's drinking escapades were few and far between, I had never experienced the effects of our bond with the added pleasure of drunkenness on her part, so I was very much out of my comfort zone, which was saying a lot given everything else.

Three flights of stairs later, I had broken into a short run, ignoring the slight cramp in my legs that came with climbing three flights of stairs a little too quickly. I ploughed straight towards the common room and within a matter of seconds found myself storming through its doors.

Only to find an empty room.

I stood frozen for a moment when something entered my head:

 _Better luck next time._

I blinked as I tried to determine its source. A thought, perhaps? Someone else's? Maybe even just my imagination. Whatever its source, its clarity was unmistakable and I could feel my anger towards it rising.

"Rose, what's going on?" I heard Killian ask. "This better not be you messing about."

I gritted my teeth and turned to face him. "No." I said frankly. "Lissa was, _is,_ in trouble. She's drunk and with Avery Lazar and…" I trailed off, wondering how exactly I was going to fill Killian in on the present situation. "Well...it's complicated."

Nice going, Hathaway.

Killian didn't look impressed, but his concern did peak at the mention of alcoholic misconduct. "If alcohol is involved, then I need to report it to Guardian Petrov and it will be dealt with through the proper channels."

I could feel my soul come crashing down such that it evoked a groan from my person. "Oh, seriously! Can you not - just for a second - drop the fucking protocol to help someone in need!?"

He crossed his arms. "Rose, you have given me no reason to trust anything that you say is true."

I could have honestly strangled him - so much so that I actually mimicked the action with my hands, crying out and then stomping round the deserted room to kick the armchair Avery had been sitting on over.

"Rose…" he said in that annoying tone only teachers have when you do something wrong.

I lashed round. "What is wrong with you? I do not have the time to 'prove' myself - can you not have a little faith that what I am saying is true? Lissa is never in trouble, she never misses class and she rarely touches alcohol and now somehow she is managing all three."

Killian remained passive but I could see his expression falter. "And are you sure Avery Lazar is involved?"

"Yes!" I said jumping up from the chair.

"Rose, this is a serious accusation. She is the headmaster's daughter-"

"Oh, and that exempts her!?"

He raised his finger. "That is not what I am saying." he said definitely, before taking a breath. "Perhaps we should wait until the morning…"

I groaned. "You don't understand - I can't reach her!"

At this, he frowned. "Reach her?"

And there it was, the root of the problem:

Killian didn't know.

I assumed he knew the basic rumours following Lissa and I's little runaway, but he did not know the full story. I hadn't told it to him, mainly because it was none of his business given that he was only supposed to be a temporary 'babysitter' that I had no intention of becoming any further acquainted with, but also in order to save us all the burden of him trying to get to grips with it, but his ignorance was causing more problems than I had imagined.

And so, I flopped back down onto the chair and sighed. "Right, leprechaun: take a seat."

And I told him everything: Lissa, the crash, ghosts - the lot. Killian's reaction went through pretty much every emotion known to man, starting with respectful scepticism and ending with bewildered confusion. In the time it took me to explain everything, the last lesson of night had well and truly finished and I heard the distant murmur of students and teachers alike heading to their dorms. Killian sat in silence as he processed this newfound data, opening his mouth every so often as though he were about to speak, but then closing it when he found that he had no words to articulate. I just sat there awkwardly, wondered for a moment where Avery had put that bottle of whisky before concluding that she had probably taken it with her.

Before long though, Killian finally mustered something to say. "Rose, I…" he trailed off, losing his words as though they were smoke from a cigarette: dissipating into nothing. He frowned and started again. "I'm going to need some time. It's been a long day and this is…well, it's not helped." he said before looking up. "I'm going to need some time on my own to sort through this, so I'm giving you the evening." I felt my heart flutter and he, noticing my change in mood, shot me a pointed look. "Do not get into any trouble, Hathaway. Consider this a trust exercise: top form."

I smiled slightly, knowing and appreciating the weight of what he was doing there. "Top form: you have my word."

Killian met my eyes. "Please, Rose: let your word mean something."

I nodded and he responded similarly.

When we parted, he was still in state of bewilderment. I felt a little bad for having dumped this upon him in such a way, but was slightly consoled by the fact it would make our lives a little easier in the long term, if only a little. I was also far too chuffed to be given a free evening to do whatever the hell I liked. Naturally, my instinct told me to find Lissa but after an hour of searching both mentally and on foot, I arrived with no luck. Each time I tried to reach her I felt myself blocked. It was infuriating, not least because I could not find my best friend, but also because I had no idea what it was that was blocking me. Was she still drunk? It seemed unlikely, and yet I could not say otherwise.

The hour passed slowly and in such a mind-numbing fashion that I found myself aimlessly wandering cyclical laps of the school under the cover of the early morning. Everyone else had hurried off to bed, the last only lingering around until the guardians on duty told them to go to bed. I continued to wander, enjoying the relative peace and quiet before a clattering from the gym caught my attention as I walked passed. I frowned, wondering who on earth would be in the gym at this time, but I needn't have bothered - for who else could it have been...

"You do know it's the end of the day, right?"

Dimitri stopped what he was doing. I could not see his expression as his back was turned towards me, but he did not flinch at my words. I suspected he knew I was there.

"I am quite aware."

I smiled and wandered into the gym, closing the door and the outside world behind us. Dimitri turned and faced me; his eyes were covered by his shaded-specs, but his stick was nowhere near him, instead disregarded and resting against the wall. I heard the light hum of the motors attached to the punching bags in front him and I smiled.

"Training?"

He smirked, casual and lighthearted. "Always."

I smiled. I hadn't forgot what had happened earlier that day and frankly, I was surprised Dimitri seemed so calm. "I'm sorry."

He frowned, inclining his head. "What for?"

"Earlier."

His eyebrows raised above the shades of his glasses. "It's nothing."

I sighed. "It is not nothing, and I know you-"

"Rose, I'm fine." he said, interrupting and walking towards me.

I eyed him skeptically. "Really?"

He smiled, stopping just in front of me. "Really."

I still didn't fully believe him. "Well…either way, I am sorry. And Killian is too, when he's not so busy being an arse."

At this, Dimitri shook his head. "Rose..."

"What?"

"Behave."

I wrinkled my nose. "Hmmm, it's alright for you: you don't have him following you about."

He smiled. "That would be because I did not disobey any direct commands recently…"

I did a double take and scowled. "Yeah, to save your ass, I'll remind you. Shesh, you have a funny way of showing gratitude, comrade."

His smile widened and he stepped forward, his nose brushing against my forehead. He lifted his head up and kissed mine before stepping back. "I never said I was not thankful." The fingers of his right hand traced their way down to my chin and he applied a slight pressure, tilting my head up. Leaning down, he whispered: "Just stating the facts" and then silenced my inevitably defensive reply with a chaste kiss.

As he pulled away, I felt my scowl deepen. "You're mean, you know that?"

He chuckled. "Good to know." he said, wandering towards the punch-bag by means of either memory or the sound of the motor, feeling around the bag to switch off said motor. "Where is Guardian O'Hara?" he asked.

I hummed. "Ah…"

Dimitri halted and shot me a look. "What have you done?"

"Hey! Nothing like that. Seriously, can no-one give me the benefit of the doubt?"

His reply was hardly comforting. "I know you too well."

"Huh, do you now?" I scoffed. "No, he gave me the evening to myself while he worked through some stuff."

At this, Dimitri looked even more concern. "What?"

Realising how that sounded, I clarified. "I told him about everything: the crash, the bond, the ghosts - the lot."

The tension left Dimitri immediately. "Ah…"

"Indeed." I said. "It was getting to difficult not to tell him."

Dimitri pulled down the punch-bag from where it hung. "I don't suppose he took it well."

I shrugged. "As well as can be expected." I said, sitting down on the floor cross-legged. "Although, he's not exactly my main concern at the minute."

"Oh?" Dimitri replied, setting the bag down upright against the floor and leaning against it as he listened.

I sighed. "Lissa's got herself into a spot of bother with Avery."

"Lazar?"

"Yeah, that bitch."

Dimitri shook his head and, picking up the bag, headed towards the store cupboard. "I'm sure she'll be fine, Rose. The princess is both smart and sensible."

"And I'm not?" I said, toying with the subtext of his words.

He chuckled, tossing the bag in the cupboard. "You can be."

"Thanks." I said deadpan. "But that's not the issue: she was drinking whiskey today."

"On the school premises?"

I groaned. "Oh, don't you start as well. It's not like everyone else isn't doing it too."

He cocked a brow. "That does not make it right."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, it's not the problem here. I can't reach her."

Dimitri knelt down and sat opposite me on the floor. "Through the bond?"

"Yeah, something is blocking me. I can't work it out."

"Ghosts?"

I shook my head. "Nah, they've never been an issue-" I cut myself off.

Dimitri, noticing the clipped ending to the sentence, shot his head up. "What it is?"

I stayed silent, but could not help the smile that encapsulated my face. The worry that I had momentarily subsided as I realised what I had just witnessed. "You just put that bag away?"

Dimitri frowned. "Yes…"

"Without the stick..."

At this, the frown was replaced with a rather smug expression that not even my beloved Dimitri Belikov could hold back. "Yes…What of it?"

I grinned. "Oh, come on: not a fortnight ago you were crashing into your bed. This is fantastic!" I said jumping up. He laughed, following my movement upward with his head. I had been so focused on my own crap that I had completely missed Dimitri's victory - this was good. This was more than good, it was blindingly hopeful. "Have you been coming here everyday? By yourself?"

He pushed himself to his feet. "What else would I be doing?"

I didn't really care for the underlying self-pity that went with that particular retort, but I let it slide on account of the fact that Dimitri was getting better. "Haha - yes! Oh, you are going to back to your normal level of godliness in no time."

He laughed. "Let's not get too ahead of ourselves, Rose."

I ignored him. "Matt Murdock - didn't I tell you? You are a bloody superhero, comrade!"

He laughed again, shaking his head. "You are mad."

I grinned. "Happily so if it means a little excitement." I paused when an idea came to my head. "Have you just been practising with the bag?"

He nodded. "I must remember to thank Guardian O'Hara for his little genius."

I smiled, but continued to ponder upon the idea. "Hit me."

Dimitri frowned. "What?"

"Hit me, Dimitri." I said, assuming a defensive position. "Practice fighting me."

For the second time in his career, he hesitated. "Rose, I…"

I decided to press it. "Come on, it's like you said: where's the challenge in remaining in your comfort zone?"

He shot me a skeptical look. I paused for a moment, sent a silent prayer heavenward and then took a swing.

A million things flooded into my head at that point: I hoped he would react; I feared he would not. A sense doom and anticipation filled my being as my fist powered towards his scepticism and stationary form. My heart began pounding like the bellow of a war drum on a silent battlefield, only to be silenced by the action that followed:

He blocked it.

Holding up his forearm on instinct, my right hook was deflected backwards. Our reactions were instantaneous: I felt my smile grow to the point where it actually hurt and he seemed shell-shocked, standing with his blackened gaze towards where his arm stood upright.

" _Не может быть…"_ he whispered.

I had no idea what he said, but elicited a response of my own. "Ha!" I cried out.

I saw his face change from one of shock to another of determination as his lips rose upwards and his jaw tightened. "Again."

I needed no further encouragement.

Obviously, I knew I needed to be careful, but I did not let that deter me. I made to swing with my other hand, but he stopped it again, a little more clumsily than before. He did not fuss and responded with a jab of his own. I dodged and changed the angle of my attack. I saw his face wrinkle in concentration as he used the senses he had to determine my moves. Smiling, I made a point to be a little heavier on my feet and struck again. I landed my attack but he was quick in his reply, using my height, or lack thereof, to push me back and out of range and causing me to stumble a little.

Evidently, he heard this and with a smile he reminded me, "Watch your footing, Rose."  
I huffed. "I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be mentoring you now." I pointed out, moving around a little.

He smiled, reassessing his position. "I don't remember being demoted…"

"That's because I saved your ass." I threw another punch forward. He dodged. I swung again. He used his position and redirected the punch away from his body before planting one of his own. I ducked before it could and his and fell back.

He then decided to reply with a chuckle. "That was your own folly."

"Rude." I remarked before going in again. This time losing some of the former nicity. I aimed for his stomach, using my shorter height to my own advantage. He grunted upon the impact, but reacted accordingly with an attempt to twist my arm behind me. I twirled out and went for another strike. It hit again. A small growl left his lips and I felt his body tense further as his determination rose. I went for another hit, but he blocked it. He stuck, but I blocked. What then followed was what can only be described as a display of pretty much every single hand-to-hand technique in the book. Honestly, if it weren't so late at night, I was convinced it could be used as an education for students and guardians alike. In spite of his disadvantage, Dimitri was putting up a damned good fight. Even behind the inaccuracy and reduced rapidity, you could still see the brilliant skill that had made him so admired and so lethal. And with every mistake, there was hint of slowing down. If anything, he seemed more motivated than he had been previously. It was the same level of commitment and drive that underlay the foundation for a great guardian. Such drive had been visible in Dimitri's disposition from the day we had first met and almost every day since. It was a fire and a passion that his blindness had tried to destroy, but it was as resilient as he was.

Guardian Belikov was back and he was back with a bite.

Hit after hit, block after block, he got better and better, faster and faster. Even though I knew hours had passed, I felt no fatigue and he showed signs of slowing down. Hand-to-hand combat had always been a little dull for me, but this moment changed it all. Like a woodpecker to a tree, I supplied strike after strike and he was recipitate similarly and with such fluidity it was more like dancing than sparring.

Such as it was, I felt the whole world slip away: it disappeared from around us and all that remained was our strange dance. I trust my hand towards him, he dodged and caught it, pulling me off the ground and around his body. I used my legs, hooking my foot on his side in turn forcing us both to the ground. Using the linger momentum, I attempted to roll us over, but he rolled back, resulting in a cartwheel effect across the floor until he, using his larger form, placed his hands on the ground, effectively cutting off any more attempts on my part to wriggle free and claim victory.

I felt a sense of _déjà vu_ as my mind thought back to our fight in the corridor during field practice and it became clear that Dimitri too had this on his mind.

"There, now we are even." he whispered, his accent thick and he caught his breath.

I chuckled, also now feeling the fatigue of having spent the past few hours in continuous combat. "We were always equally matched."

At this he chuckled. "Oh, really?"

I hummed, rather self-righteously. "Mhmm, I only let you think you need to teach me."

He smiled. "Oh, Roza…" He brought his head down and embraced me with his kiss. I melted into it slowly, like chocolate over boiling water. His hands slid against the floor until he fell on his elbows, bringing himself closer to me. I lifted my legs and wrapped them around his waist, pulling him tighter and falling deeper into his spell before a burst of reality hit me.

I broke away slightly. "Dimitri, won't someone see?"

I heard him grunt, but he continued to kiss the side of my face and down under my jawbone. "Let them." he managed to articulate through his assault on my neck.

I laughed a little. "I don't believe you mean that, comrade."

He grunted again and pulled away, a smile etched on his lips. "What if I did?"

I smiled. "Then you are no Dimitri Belikov."

He laughed and pushed himself to his hands and then to his knees. I pulled myself from under him and tried to straighten myself out, though I was already a mess from the sparring so it didn't make much of a difference. Out of a slight fear, I cast a quick glance towards the door of the gym only to see it mercifully empty. "Good thing everyone's in bed, huh?" I said as my eyes glanced past the clock on their way back to Dimitri.

He smiled and pushed himself fully to his feet. "Most definitely." He turned his ears towards the door. His glasses were still on and covered his previously so expressive eyes, but I could see a certain glee on his countenance. Though, of course, he kept it formal. "We should probably head to our dorms."

I jumped to my feet and picked up the hoodie that I had been wearing, now discarded on the floor, and tied it around my waist. "I'll walk back with you."

He smiled rather devilishly, raising his eyebrow in my direction. "I think I can manage…"

"Who says it's for your sake?"

He laughed. Shaking his head, he extended his arm out. I grinned, snatched up his stick and hook my arm through his. "This is rather unlike you. Wandering around, holding hands at the end of dawn with everyone asleep - it's positively public." I joked.

He expression remained the same: light-hearted and happy. "Would you like me to stop?"

"I did not say that." I replied a little too quickly. "But it is a little out of character."

He shrugged. "I know. However, I recently had a conversation with someone who reminded me just how fortunate I am and I rather agree with him."

I smiled a little more. "Must be a rather perceptive man."

Dimitri chuckled a little. "I wouldn't let him hear you said that - I'll most likely go straight to his head."

I rolled my eyes. "Sounds like Adrian."

He smiled. "It was."

I frowned. "Seriously? When were you talking to Adrian?"

He pondered for a moment before speaking. "I had dream."

"About Adrian?" I couldn't resist.

He shot me a coy expression. "Not exclusively." he assured. "No, he…what was it you called it?"

Realisation filled me in that moment. "Do you mean dreamwalking?"

"It was more an invasion than a leisurely stroll, let me tell you." he said.

I was still bewildered by what he was saying. "Why on earth was Adrian stalking you?"

"He said he was bored."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, that sounds like him."

He turned a little contemplative. "In truth, I did not really mind it."

"Really? I always found them uncomfortable in the least."

He shrugged. "It was nice to have a chat with someone who wasn't afraid to give me a kick up the backside." He paused for a moment. "And it was also nice to see someone again."

At this, my head shot up and I stopped dead in my tracks. "Sorry, did you just say _see_?"

He smiled and nodded. "I told you I see in my dreams. Apparently, this extends to if Adrian wants a visit."

I blinked. "That's incredible!" He nodded, but there was a hesitation is his actions. "Is it not?" I asked stepping back into our walk.

"It is and it isn't." he said. " _'Give a man his heart's desire and there is always a catch.'_ "

"Did Adrian tell you that too?"

"My grandmother," he corrected with a smile, "though Adrian did mention something along those lines."

I chuckled. "He has his moments of wisdom."

He nodded. "Indeed he does." he said as we approached his room. "He reminded me of something I was on the verge of forgetting."

I paused, eying him nervously. "Which was?"

He smiled, releasing my arm only to take my hand in his. "That you are not a dream." he said lifting my hand up to his lips.

I felt my heart flutter. I stepped towards him and gave a gentle kiss. "I am right here." I said, breaking after a moment with a teasing smile dancing on my lips. "And don't hesitate to ask for a reminder, should you forget."

He broke into a wide smile and pulled me back into his arms. I wrapped mine around his neck and pushed into him, causing him to lean against the door; the weight caused it to open and we staggered into the room, locked in a tender embrace. I kicked the door shut with my foot and brough my hands up to cup his face. His continued to trace down the curves of my side, then to rest on the hilt of my hip.

"Roza," he whispered. "We cannot…"  
I ran my fingers through his hair, tugging the band that kept the strands in place off and allowing them to fall free. "We can do whatever we like." I said, taking off his glasses and placing them on the desk behind him.

He tightened his eyelids shut and brought his forehead to mine. " _Хочу...хочу…_ "

I closed my eyes and smiled, reveling in his scent, his touch and the sound of a language I did not understand. "What did you say?"

I felt him pause for a moment before his hands rose up and cupped the side of my face and with no lack of conviction or passion, he spoke: "I want to."

And with that, he kissed me again and I pulled him back onto his bed.

* * *

I awoke curiously.

It was as though I was being tempted out of sleep and seduced into the world of consciousness. I felt a frown form on my brow before my eyes opened to see darkened expanse of Dimitri's room, the only light supplied from the sun seeping through the black-out blinds. I turned to see Dimitri asleep: lying on his front, his arms encircling his pillow as his head rested sideways towards me. I smiled at his peace and then again at his state of undress as I remembered the night before and my similar situation. The clock on his bedside read 14:04 in bright red letters: the equivalent of two a.m. in the world of humanity.

A sound, an echo brought me around and I was reminded of why I woke up in the first place. I sat up on the bed, instinctively using the blankets to cover my naked form, but careful not to take them from Dimitri. My frown returned and I narrowed my eyes as I tried to inspect the room and determine the cause of my awakening.

A sharp pain jolted through my head and I held back my cry, grunting and groaning instead. I felt my head burning up again, as though my skull was being ripped apart from the inside. Darkness began to invade my vision, but through it I saw a figure in the shadows of the room. Having experienced the pain of this over and over, I made one hell of a decision: I tried to battle through it and focus on this person. Mason? Perhaps Andre again? I needed more information if I was to ever work out what was going on. I ignored the pain, or as much as I could, and focused harder. The figure was faded, like a portrait worn out over time: a ghost to be sure. I felt reality fall around me as the darkness intensified, but the person became clearer. They staggered about, panicked and afraid; their back was towards me. I called out, or tried to, but no sound seemed to leave my lips for the agony increased and caused me to scream out silently. The figure continued to stagger and flounder on their feet as the pain and drum of my heart beat filled my tearing skull. Suddenly, out of sheer luck, the ghost staggered around and I saw their face.

My blood went cold. My jaw dropped open. I could not believe it… How could I? For it was neither Mason nor Andre who stood before me, but someone else I knew altogether:

Killian O'Hara.

* * *

 **Dun, dun, DUNNNN! Killian: a ghost!? What does this mean! :0**

 **Hello my dear comrades in Comrade :D**

 **I hope I do find you well friends. I would say a happy Halloween as I had intended to get this out yesterday but I'm afraid I went to the pub instead :3 Nonetheless, I hope this will suffice ;) I had a hell of a week last week, with an essay and two presentations due so I am slightly over-compensating this week and have been doing a lot of writing, reading and basically just not doing work which is probably not the best thing but hey-ho xD**

 **Well, should I ask? Like it? Love it? Hate it? I'm getting back into some Romitri fun which should be good (:D), though I do sometimes feel a little corny when I write them - hopefully it doesn't read too corny or cliche, but please let me know if it does and I will endeavour to rectify. I've also had it recently pointed out how** _ **very**_ **posh I sound and I am now conscious of it everywhere, so do let me know if I've gone a wee bit overboard xD**

 **Well, until the next time: here's wishing you every blessing,  
** **Mariarty**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy or anything surrounding it (but I do own this plot :D)**

* * *

RPOV

Killian O'Hara.

He stood before me, paralysed and cold. His tall frame flickering in and out of focus like the mere vestige he was. His light brown hair seemed darker, shorter even, and I could not make out its distinctive copper glow; his features appeared sterner - gone was his usual light-hearted and friendly smile in place of pain and fear.

For my part, I remained frozen in shock, the searing pain numbed by the horror I felt upon seeing him before me. I watched as he reached out his hand; it trembled as it seemed that small action took all he had left in him. He opened his mouth, a croaking groan escaping from his lips, but embedded in it came the words: _"Help me."_

And like thunder, the pain was back and I was shoved off the bed and to the ground, landing which a tremendous thump upon my knees. Killian had gone and I cried out as the pain built in my head. From a vague state of consciousness, a light flickered on and once the pain had subsided I found myself looking into the panicked expression of Dimitri Belikov.

"Roza, come back to me..." he murmured, cradling me against his chest and against his thumping heart.

I cried out again, but with the pain slowly dissipating, it came out a moan. Within a moment, it had gone completely and I found myself fully conscious.

But still shit scared.

"Killian..." I said, jumping to my feet and powering towards where my clothes had been abandoned on the floor, rather unwittingly shoving Dimitri out the way.

He didn't seem in the least bit concerned about being tossed aside and was rather more worried about my perceived state of insanity. "Rose, what is it?"

I shoved my leg into my leggings. "Killian, he's…" _dead._ I couldn't bring myself to say it out loud. Instead, I fought back my grief and barked a command. "Get dressed. We need to find Guardian O'Hara, _now_."

I had never sounded so formal, but my tone certainly got Dimitri moving. I don't think I had ever seen anyone get dressed so quickly, even with the advantage of perfect eyesight. Within seconds we were out of the room and on our way to Killian's dorm. I didn't actually know where it was, but thankfully Dimitri knew the number and I was away in a heartbeat, with Dimitri running behind me. I blasted through the corridors, not caring for the noise or commotion I was making, until I reached his room and skidded to a halt, Dimitri not far behind. The door was locked. I wasted not a moment waiting for Dimitri to catch up; taking a step back, I ploughed my foot at the lock and the door swung open. I ran in, smashed on the light and was halted by the sight I saw...

"Holy mother of God!" came the frightened and shocked reply of a very startled and very topless Killian O'Hara.

 _What the hell...?_

"You're alive!?" came the blurted and screeched reply from my lips as Dimitri, now in the room, felt around in the empty space where the door had been.

Killian staggered on his feet having leapt out of his bed upon both the sound and sight of my intrusion. "Of course I'm alive! Though, I can hardly believe it myself after this." he said, panting heavily and raising his hand to his heaving chest. "Oh, heavenly Father…" he exhaled, attempting to control his breathing.

"Rose, what is going on…" Dimitri asked, frowning and fruitlessly turning his head as he tried to find anything that resembled a reasonable answer.

I too was searching for anything that resembled a reasonable answer, but found myself entirely lost for both words and thoughts. "I-I saw you…"

I don't think he heard me, but Killian, now passed the initial fright, tried to ground himself and began to take in his surroundings. "Did you kick my door in?"

Dimitri, giving the poor man a little space to recover, took a step towards me. "Rose…" he said softly and without rebuke. "What happened? What did you see?"

I, still paralysed by my own shock, found myself incapable of forming anything more than just: "I saw him…"

At that moment, a large comotion was heard outside. The murmur of confused and tired voices echoed through the open door, only to be silenced on the authority of one.

"What is the meaning of this?" Alberta's authoritative voice towered above all others. "Must I remind you that you are members of staff and not a group of gawking students." I heard her reprimanded before catching sight of her at the door. "What is going-Miss Hathaway!?"

I could hardly even begin to imagine what she must have thought upon seeing the chaotic scene that was presented before her. I was still recovering from seeing Killian's ghostly form, and his being alive had only made it worse. Killian too was at a complete loss having been more or less frightened half to death out of his bed.

Thankfully, there was one person who seemed to be in a stable enough condition.

"I do apologise Guardian Petrov: rumours of a serious threat made upon Guardian O'Hara here reached Miss Hathaway and she came to me as to inquire what to do. We arrived in haste, the door was locked and, given the perceived severity of the situation, was opened by means of force." Dimitri conveyed in such a calm and collected manner that I would have given him a damned Oscar for his trouble.

Alberta's eyes widened. "A serious threat? What do you mean by this?"

"It was a false alarm." Dimitri replied promptly.

Alberta looked between the three of us, paused out of either biwiderment or just the disorientation of being woken up at two o'clock, and nodded. "Right." she said, taking a step back, her gaze glancing down to the broken door fragments scattered across Killian's floor. "We shall deal with this later. For now, let us all head back to bed. Guardian Belikov, I trust you can handle Miss Hathaway."

He nodded. "Of course, Guardian Petrov."

She nodded again and backed out of the room, stepping round the splintered pieces with her bare feet and tightening her dressing gown around her. She left and began ushering the lingering guardians back into their rooms. I staggered back behind me to fall against Killian's desk, thankful to the the uniform nature of the academy's guardian dorms which meant that the desk was exactly where I thought it would be. My confused gaze remained fixed on Killian. He too was looking at me as if had three heads, but all I kept seeing was that deathly image - those eyes so pained and so helpless that it shattered my very being upon very sight.

"Does anyone want fill me in?" Killian said after recollecting his wits, his hands resting on his hips.

 _Help me._

I felt a chill run down my spine and I found myself incapable of saying anything more than: "I saw you…"

Killian frowned, a degree of anger seeping in. "You saw me what?"

Dimitri, having made sure everyone had gone, moved his way towards me, but unsure of my exact location, kept his distance. "Rose, what did you see?"

I blinked and looked up at Killian. "I saw your ghost."

Killian's eyes widened and he seemed momentarily speechless, only managing to utter out a meaningless: "I-I…"

Dimitri, however, remained the picture of composure in the room as he frowned and took a step closer. "You saw Killian's ghost…?" He asked slowly and carefully.

I nodded, still fixed on Killian. "I thought...I thought you were dead."

Killian, for his part, now just looked even more angry. "You thought I was _dead_!?" He splurted.

"Guardian O'Hara-"

"No, Belikov!" Killian cut Dimitri off much to the surprise of both Dimitri and myself. "I have had one heck of an evening." he said, his voice raised. "It was a long day that culminated in finding out that ghosts and resurrections and other shit like it Rose here claims 'apparently' exist and now I am woken up because she thought someone had murdered me in my sleep!"

Well, that was certainly a slap in the face.

"Guardian O'Hara." Dimitri snapped. "Kindly, calm yourself down: have a glass of water and take a seat." he turned to me. "And Rose, do not say a word." I clamped my mouth shut and obeyed. Killian looked like he wanted to argue some more, but instead swallowed his fire and sat down in his armchair, forgoing the water. Dimitri inhaled deeply before speaking again. "Right, Guardian O'Hara: I would like to apologise on behalf of Rose and myself for disrupting you this evening, particularly in light of the context of the situation. Please know, I would not have allowed this to happen if I did not trust Rose explicitly nor if I believed that her concern was not genuine."

Killian nodded, the act of looking down causing him to remember he was not in a shirt. In a moment of characteristic flusterness, he folded his arms over his chest. "Thank you, Guardian Belikov."

Dimitri nodded and then turned to me. "Now, Rose: please can you explain exactly what it was you saw."

I hesitated, going over every moment of the event that had snatched me from my sleep. Had I been mistaken? Surely not - it _was_ Killian: he was my bloody babysitter, I knew _exactly_ what he looked like. It could not have been any clearer.

I didn't understand this in the slightest. How could I? I wasn't even supposed to be seeing ghosts in the Academy - weren't the wards were supposed to keep them out? That was yet another mystery of the entire thing. I honestly could feel myself breaking - what on earth was going on!?

"I don't understand…" I whispered, burying my head in my palms.

Through my fingers, I saw Dimitri step forward and reach his hand across my arm, pulling it down and lifting my head up. "Try."

I sighed. "I saw Killian." I said. "Or at very least, someone who looks pretty much identical to you." I said directing my eyeline towards the man in question.

Killian, with arms still folded across his chest, continued to look both skeptical and a little bit pissed. "As a ghost?" he said, the disbelief clear in his tone.

"Yes, so I thought you were dead." I replied, still very shaky over the notion.

Killian frowned. "I still don't-"

"O'Hara," Dimitri gently interrupted, rising and turning to face in his direction. "I know it is a lot to ask, but could suspend your disbelief for a moment?"

He looked up, amazed. "You believe her?"

"Entirely."

His eyes widened. "On what grounds?"

"I didn't at first." Dimitri assured a little too frankly. "But there is a lot about this world that we don't understand and Rose here, for all her faults, is not a liar. The reason we knew where the Strigoi were on the night of the Cave Attack was because of this ability to see ghosts."

"Mason told me." I said, really without thinking.

Killian looked over towards me. "Mason Ashford?"

I nodded. "As I said before, I've seen him a lot lately. And Andre Dragomir. And others, but I don't know who they are. Being shadow-kissed meant that I technically died and I don't think I've been fully separated from that world."

I saw his face soften, the anger long gone, and I felt a degree of relief seeing him so normal, but there slight fear in his expression. "But you saw me? Does that mean...I'm going to die?"

I blinked. "Ah, no - that - I don't think so."

That didn't help.

Dimitri elected to bail us both out. "Are you absolutely sure it was Guardian O'Hara?"

The ghostly face flashed in my vision again. "Yes. I mean, you think I would know. He did look like you, darker hair, maybe taller, but that might just…" I trailed off as I saw Killian's face and went silent.

Dimitri, somewhat at a disadvantage, frowned at the silence that had fallen upon the room. "What it is?"

What he could not see was how all the colour had drained from Killain's face; he sat like a waxwork - frozen in one fearful position. "Did he have one leg?" the words slipped from his lips a broken plea as his voice cracked and water began collecting his his eyes.

The image flashed before me again. I tried to recall every detail: how he staggered about, trying to move; his face; his arms; his body. Yet he was obscured and hazy as a creature of the Shadow World by nature was. The darkness that often descended upon me was enclosed and enveloped around him and the darkness of the Dimitri's room meant that I could only clearly see his face and only that because I made a conscious effort to. "I don't know...maybe…why do you-?"

"Rose..." Dimitri voice came in like a small tap on my shoulder, cutting me off.

A tear dropped down from Killian's face as he squeezed his eyes shut. "I don't think it was me you saw."

I frowned. "Then who?"

He reopened his eyes. "My brother."

 _Oh shit_.

My eyes widened. "Your brother…"

Killian shook his head, wiping away his grief by means of a weak laugh. "We were always told we looked alike."

"Killian, I am so sorry - I didn't mean…"

He shook his head again. "No, I know." he said. "It's just a little raw: Paddy was my best mate. We thought we could do anything." he said with pained smile.

And it was then it hit me.

'Paddy' - short for Patrick. A one-legged Guardian.

 _Rose, get your head out the sand: there is a chance that this won't work and you know it. Disabled guardians aren't common for a reason. My aunt knew a guy, Patrick I think his name was. Anyway, it was at some conference a couple of years back and this guardian lost his leg in the attack that occurred. They stitched him up okay, but sent him home. He couldn't fight. He wanted to, but he couldn't. And worse still, he couldn't accept that and nor could his buddies. They brought him right back, gave him a prosthetic, even got his brother to help him train, but when they were under attack again, that prosthetic broke and he was killed._

Patrick. Patrick _O'Hara_.

Christian's words came right back at me. How many one-legged Patrick's were there in the Guardian world? And how many of them had a brother willing and able to adapt common training exercises to be more accomodating? It was suddenly perfectly clear why Killian had offered to help Dimitri with only a little hesitation - it wasn't just that he was a nice guy, but this was personal to him. Perhaps it was even why he was at St. Vladimir's in the first place: it couldn't be a complete coincidence that he was working within the vicinity of both Christian and Tasha while his brother was a personal guardian for the family.

I suddenly felt even worse for waking him up with this.

"Was he in the pain that you described the others in?" Killian asked, breaking me out of my own thoughts.

I bit my lip and nodded. "I'm sorry."

He closed his eyes again and took a deep breath. When he opened his eyes, there was a seed of determination planted within their verdant depths. "Okay, do we know what it is that is causing this torture?" he asked.

I saw Dimitri's expression change to one of surprise and held a similar response. "No." I said, casting a cautious look towards Killian. It was clear that this had hit a nerve. I did not know if Killian fully believed me, but I could see he was not willing to take the chance. Indeed, all pretense of objectivity was out the window as the Irishman before me now held a personal investment in what was going on.

"But it's affecting everyone?" he asked, continuing his inquisition.

"That I've seen, yeah." I replied.

He nodded. "Has anything like this happened before?"

"The headaches have been there before, but the pain was only my own. Never theirs - pain being unique among the living." I said, thinking back.

At this, I saw a recognition in his eyes. "Father Andrew...you asked whether ghosts could feel pain…" he said with a slight smile. Shaking his head, he sighed and flopped back against his chair.

"Then it is coming from this world." Dimitri's voice caught both our attention. "The source of the discomfort, that is."

"Do you think someone is doing it?" There was a slight venom in Killian's tone which I had never heard and, frankly, it unsettled me to my core.

"Or something." I said in an attempt to diffuse the mood.

"Either way, it needs to stop." Dimitri said absolutely. "And not just for your sake." he said, turning his head towards me.

I nodded, glancing towards Killian who was understandably still looking a little raw on the situation such that he wasn't even trying to hide it from his face. "It has to be something to do with Spirit." I said.

"Like before?" Dimitri asked.

I managed to resist blushing at the thought of what had happened before, or more specifically what happened after. "Yeah."

"But hadn't Lissa stopped?" Killian asked, frowning towards me.

I sighed. "Yeah, she has - but it isn't coming from Lissa. Definitely not."

"How so?" Killian said as Dimitri raised an eyebrow at my tone.

"Because alcohol numbs the magic." I said. Killian nodded with contemplation while Dimitri just looked alarmed. "Yeah, I know. I'm working on it." I said, mirroring my beloved's concern. "But I guess that rules out Adrian too."

"For sure." Killian scoffed, though I was not entirely sure he meant to.

Dimitri didn't look so convinced. "Maybe not: after all, he still came to see me."

"Come again?" Killian said, shooting his head up towards Dimitri.

"Oh, no - Adrian dreamwalks." I clarified.

Killian looked mildly horrified. "Of course he does."

"My point being, and I regret saying it, he might actually be able to help. I shall ask him about it if he does it again." Dimitri said.

"Or if not, I'll pester him in person." I said with a grinned. Dimitri smiled.

Killian looked between us. "Ah, nice to see I'm not the only one who finds him slightly intolerable."

I scoffed. "Slightly - that's an understatement."

He frowned. "What?"

I chuckled. "Oh, you hate him."

He scowled. "I do not hate him."

"Oh yeah you do: you hate him, Hazza, but you are too polite to say it."

His scowl deepened, but under his irritation I could see a glimmer of amusement which frankly made it worth it. "Getting back to the point…"

"Indeed," Dimitri said, shooting me an expression that told me to behave. "So there must be another Spirit user in the Academy."

"Who though?" I asked. "Have there been many transfers?"

"What, after the attack? Loads." Killian said with a hint of a scoff. "Moroi just as much as Dhampir."

Dimitri nodded. "I'll try and bring Guardian Petrov in on this, particularly after tonight." he said gesturing to the non-existent door behind him. "The truth might be best in this instance."

"Yeah…" I said, taking a long look at the extent of the damage. I turned back to Killian with grimace. "Sorry about that."

He shook his head. "It's fine." he assured. "I grew up in a barn - I can handle the draft." he said, a sad smile easing its way onto his tired and grief-sodden face. "Would you mind if we continued this later? I do think we should probably get at least some sleep."

"That's probably wise." I said, glancing at the clock. I suspected this was slightly more than just fatigue but I wasn't about to press it.

Dimitri too seemed of a similar stance. "Yes, we shall deal with this in the morning. I'll sort everything with Guardian Petrov."

Killian nodded. "Thank you." he said rising out of the chair as Dimitri positioned himself to walk towards the door.

I got up to follow Dimitri out of the room, but halted and turned back to Killian. "Killian, I am truly sorry about this. I didn't mean for this to hurt you, or…"

He nodded. "I know, Rose. But my not knowing about it wouldn't mean it wasn't still happening. In a way, it could've made it worse." he said, looking down for a moment. "I loved - _still_ love - my brother and I lay him to rest in peace..." he said before looking up at me in the eye, determined and with a hint of venom. "So in peace he shall rest, and I'll be damned if I find it otherwise."

* * *

The next few weeks saw a mixed range of progress. Rather notably, Guardian Petrov had been brought up to speed with things; obviously, she wasn't wholly convinced at the idea of ghosts and spiritual realms, but she did extent us the courtesy of the benefit of doubt along with the files of recent transfers. Irritably, neither Dimitri nor Killian would allow me to look at the files as it was technically, you guessed it, against protocol.

Bloody protocol.

Regardless of my thoughts on the matter or my attempts at persuasion, they weren't having it and I wasn't allowed in on the reading of the student's files. Whilst I wasn't exactly pleased at being booted out, it did give me one less thing to do which allowed me to focus on other issues.

Namely, Lissa.

"Where's Lissa?" I asked, dumping my tray on the cafeteria table.

Christian's response was a cacophony of verbal and 'other' related noise as he scoffed out a: "where do you think?"

I sighed and slumped down beside him with Eddie and Adrian opposite and Killian by the wall. During these few weeks I had updated my friends on the situation. Well, most of them. I had hardly seen Lissa and when I had, she had always been somewhere else mentally. She and Avery seemed inseparable these days and from the bond, I knew the stuff they were getting up to was hardly what you would call good. Having once being the proud bearer of a perfect reputation, Lissa Dragomir was now sharing with Avery Lazar the one for being the 'go to' for trouble, in every sense of the word; the frequent intoxicating post-curfew parties were just the tip of the iceberg. Meanwhile, Christian and I had been very much sidelined. Neither of us were taking it particularly well, but it seemed that neither of us could do anything about it which only made us more bitter.

"I'm sure she'll come around." Eddie offered.

"No offense, mate, but you've been saying that for weeks now." I said, tearing a bite out of my sandwich.

"You can't push her, little dhampir." Adrian said. "Nor, apparently, can you politely eat that sandwich…"

I glared up at him. "Bite me." I hissed with a mouthful of food.

Adrian grinned. "Tempting…" he said, wriggling his eyebrows.

"You are both disgusting." Christian muttered, shuffling a little further away from me as I took another bite and make a point of eating as loudly as possible. "Anyway, I don't think Lissa's the problem here." he said glaring towards the canteen entrance as Avery Lazar sauntered in, surprisingly without Lissa. She stopped to talk to two primped-up girls walking out of the canteen.

I felt my face fall into a scowl. "If you want to stop the poison, kill the snake." I stabbed the salad on my plate with my fork.

Eddie seemed a little taken aback while Adrian found the whole thing bloody amusing. "Now, now, little dhampir - let's tone it down a little."

"No, she's hit the nail on the head there." Christian said.

"We aren't talking about _actual_ murder, right?" Eddie asked, a little on edge.

"You know, I don't think Avery is entirely to blame here." Adrian said, turning back after Avery left with the two girls.

My glare switched to his face. "She is the literal source of the issue."

"You're just saying that because she has that ridiculous crush on you." Christian grumbled, also glaring at the Ivashkov.

Adrian shrugged. "She was forced into this just as much as everyone else. Personally, I don't completely blame her for wanting to make the best of it."

I scoffed. "So its Tatiana's fault."

He laughed. "Ah, my aunt is responsible for a lot of things, but I don't think we can hold her accountable for this one."

"Really?"

"Really." He affirmed. A frown formed on his face as his tone elevated its severity. "Frankly, I think the answer is obvious."

"Of course you do." Christian muttered.

Adrian scowled. "Yes, I do. And if you two weren't so intent on blaming everyone else, you might actually pause for a moment of self-evaluation."

Eddie coughed on his drink while Christian and I simultaneously looked up at Adrian. "You what, mate?" Christian said.

Adrian folded his arms, not backing down. "Can you seriously not see it? You two have been haven't exactly been model friends to Lissa."

We continued to glare at him.

He sighed. "Oh, come on now: Rose, you have spent pretty much all your time with Belikov and the jolly leprechaun here and when you're not with them, it's all you talk about. Lissa tried to help, but you essentially pushed her out-"

"You told me too!" I reminded him, getting quite angry.

He shot me a pointed look. "I told you to stop her using magic; I did _not_ tell you to push her out completely. And you've just been acting like a winging five-year-old over literally nothing," he said turning to Christian.

"Watch it, Ivashkov." He growled.

He scowled. "My point exactly. But while you two have been so focused on your own issues, neither of you seem to have noticed what Lissa is going through. With everything that happened after her encounter with Spirit's darkness and then the attack, Lissa has been feeling so helpless. Added to this is my dear aunt's attempts to integrate Lissa into royal culture, which is not really doing anything to diffuse the situation. Lissa is has been hurting a lot, but feels she can't talk about it to you in light of Belikov's situation," he said looking at me, "and she can't talk to you about her problems because she's too busy trying to pull you out of your own." he said looking at Christian. "So, honestly, I don't blame her for wanting to hang about with Avery: Avery is giving Lissa a way of comping with her own pain and since no other alternative is available, she has taken it." he concluded.

A heavy and very awkward silence befell the table. Not even Christian uttered a flippant response to that as we both sat in the horrible realisation that he was completely right.

"Shit." I muttered, pushing what remained of my lunch away as my appetite dissipating as my guilt grew. It was a sick irony for I had been so focused on the pain of the Shadow World that I hadn't noticed it in the world of living. Oh, Lissa. _Forgive me._

Adrian offered a small smile. For all his antics and somewhat brutal approach, he wasn't heartless and didn't make any quip as Christian silently and solemnly got up and left. "It's alright, Rose. None of us are perfect." he said. "Heck, I'll bet even the babysitter has slipped up with someone he loves."

I cast a wary glance towards Killian with flashes of his brother's ghostly form springing to my mind and I suspected to his. I half expected him to be shooting daggers at Adrian but his expression held its usual caring softness as he gave me a short but reassuring nod. "I'll talk to Lissa." I said turning back, thinking aloud more than anything else; I was not willing to lose her over my own selfishness.

"Sorry to be so blunt." Adrian said.

"No, you were right."

He grinned, "I know: I was just saying that to make you feel better."

I looked at him deadpan. "Thanks."

"So…" Eddie's voice came in over the heavy tone. I honestly felt a little bad for him as he had sat there in awkward silence whilst Adrian had given Christian and I a proper dressing down. "Have you done the homework for Stan?" he asked.

I smiled at his attempt to lighten the mood. "What'd you think?"

He smiled. "Don't worry, you can copy me."

"I wouldn't say that in front of the babysitter…" Adrian said.

I scowled. "Leave Hazza alone, Ivashkov."

Adrian chuckled, smirking over at Killian. "I am afraid it is just too easy, little dhampir. He cannot do anything to hurt me."

At this I heard a slight scoff come from the ordinarily stoic Killian and I felt a smile creep onto my face. "I wouldn't count on it."

At this, conversation fell back into normality - well, normal for us at least. Christian didn't come back, but we weren't too worried; I think he just needed some time and a bit of space and that was fair enough. After an inconclusive discussion on when it was socially acceptable to start talking about Christmas (bearing in mind it was the middle of bloody April), it was just about time for classes to start, but I was halted from leaving my seat by a forceful object.

A hand.

I nearly jumped out of my skin when I felt its contact to my shoulder. The situation wasn't at all alleviated when I turned to see whose hand it was.

Reed Lazar.

"What the-"

"I see them..." he said, his voice broken and his eyes wide and frantic.

"Reed, you alright , buddy?" Adrian asked, stepping towards us.

Reed's eyes remained locked on mine as his hand trembled against my shoulder. "I see them. They were too young...too young…"

I was now seriously disturbed. "Right..."

His grip tightened and I winced a little in response. "They w-w-want…they want..."

"Mr Lazar," Killian's voice came in over Reed's spluttering, "could you take a step back please." he said, pushing slightly on his chest. Reed's grip loosened and eventually fell away from my shoulder. He clutched that hand with his other and bit his lip, shaking for a moment longer before he stilled. His expression calmed in an instant and his quivering form straightened. He looked at us all blankly before frowning. "What you looking at? Jesus, did no-one ever tell you it's fucking rude to stare." he muttered before shaking his head and walking away.

Killian, somewhat in spite of the comment, continued to stare baffled at the boy as he strolled through the crowd as normally as any other student. Eddie too could not get his head round it and occupied a similar position to Killian.

I, however, was having a day of revelations and one look at Adrian confirmed everything I suspected:

Reed Lazar was shadow-kissed.

* * *

 **Hello my dear comrades in Comrade :D**

 **Oh, how the plot doth thicken! Could Rose be onto something here…? Can she and Christian win back Lissa!? Could Reed be key in working out what's going on…? And Killian is still alive! Good news? I have quite a tendency for killing characters so I thought I'd surprise you with that one ;) But what about this Patrick… is there maybe more to him than meets the eye…? Just kidding, he's not that important (or is he...? Muhahaha) Dare I ask? Like it? Love it? Hate it?**

 **As you can probably tell, I'm in a bit of a weird mood. To be fair, I have just had three cups of coffee and have been writing as procrastination for the essay medieval kingship I am supposed to be writing, so it is slightly justified :3 I've had quite a full on couple of weeks but today was my last Russian tutorial for the semester (неправда! :0) but it was quite cool as they gave us блины ('blini') which is a kind of Russian pancake and it comes recommended - it was kinda like a cross between a crumpet and a pancake in that it wasn't particularly sweet but it tastes fab with cream and blackcurrant jam :)**

 **Apologies chaps :3 I hope this does find you well and I do hope you liked the chapter. I shall endeavour to update ASAP, but I think we've all learnt that I am not particularly the best for that (and for that, I am profusely sorry).**

 **Until the next time, here's wishing you every blessing,  
** **Mariarty**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy or anything surrounding it (but I do own this plot :D)**

* * *

RPOV

Reed Lazar was shadow-kissed.

As a sentence, it seemed so simple, but its lingering sentiments echoed around my head for a solid few minutes as I watched the boy in question disappear amongst the crowd.

He was shadow-kissed. Touched by death and scarred by the encounter for the rest of his life, only living as result of his bondmate's will to save him in the aftermath. Yet for all I knew and had learned over the past few years about the nature of being shadow-kissed and its complexities, there was still the most basic of questions resounding in my skull:

How?

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Adrian too in similar state of confusion. Obviously, we knew _technically_ how Reed was shadow-kissed, but what we didn't understand was the exact details behind it.

"He's-"

"It's not possible…" Adrian said before I could finish, yet the uncertainty in his tone spoke volumes about his confusion.

"It has to be." I said.

Killian and Eddie looked first at us and then to each other before shrugging and turning back. "What?" Eddie said.

"Reed Lazar is shadow-kissed." I said.

"What!?" Eddie exclaimed.

At this I saw Adrian's eyes shut. "How did I not see it…?" he whispered. "How did I not see…" He opened his eyes and strode away without saying another word. I made to chase after him, but both Killian and Eddie stopped me.

"I'd leave him be, Rose." Killian said.

I nodded and swallowed. "Reed is shadow-kissed. It's why his moods are so...volatile." I said, stopping for a moment to think of the right word.

"That means…" Eddie said as his eyes widened.

I nodded again. "His bondmate is our missing Spirit user."

"But...who?" Eddie said with a frown.

That was the question. Who was his bondmate? I had a strong hunch that if we answered that question then we'd probably answer every other question that had come up since the attack, which is when it hit me: we had very much found the apex of our investigation.

The question hung in the air arounds us for a few moments before Killian spoke and broke the tension. "Right, well...we'll deal with this later. For now, you two need to get to class. Rose, you are still on thin ice and I won't have you getting into trouble for this, so let it be for a couple of hours and then we'll come back to it."

Rational, logical and concerned: Killian O'Hara in a nutshell.

However, there was no doubt in my mind that Killian knew neither Eddie nor myself were going to be paying attention in the two lectures we had together that day, but as long as we were seen attending, Alberta and the rest of the Guardian committee would be off all our backs. Indeed, nothing that Guardian Peters had to say about the intricacies of guarding in a suburban area went in as my mind was still very much focused on that one sentence:

Reed Lazar was shadow-kissed.

So much now made sense, yet so much was left still unanswered. Fundamentally, Eddie's question of who the bondmate was rested very much at the centre of the issue and thus preoccupied most of my time. As it will surprise no-one, my first thought went to Avery, but I suspected that was mainly derived from a place of jealousy rather than reason given that she had been established as an air user early on in our acquaintance, which realistically only left one option:

Headmaster Eugene Lazar.

It made sense the more I thought about it: Reed was constantly in and out of trouble, but most of the details were shrouded in mystery, indicative of his father's attempts to hide his true nature. I knew he was controlling for both Killian and I had seen him rather harshly disciplining Avery for drinking. Furthermore, this whole thing had neatly coincided with the arrival of the Lazar clan and Avery's flippant and indifferent reaction to her brother's antics appeared to suggest a slight ignorance on her part.

Either that or she was truly heartless.

I ran the possibility through my head over and over, and with every revolution it only seemed more plausible. Even with Lissa - with the Queen showing such devotion to her and only casting Avery as a mere 'pawn' in Tatiana's wider scheme, the elder Lazar would certainly have held some sort of resentment for his only daughter being tossed around as though she were nothing more than a puzzle piece, and an expandable one at that.

Yet, why ghosts?

What on earth (or in this case not earth) did the Shadow World have to do with this? What possible benefit could come from bringing harm to those who had already passed? More than that though, _how_ was he doing it? I knew for a fact that the wards had not been broken; heck, since the attack, more had been put up. So, what was it he was doing that was so powerful that it could overcome the magic of the wards and make ghosts appear in spite of their influence?

Questions, questions and more questions. Over and over. By then end of the two lectures, I had managed to work up a killer headache. I had barely spoken a word to Eddie, but I don't think he was overly concerned about it. Actually, I suspected he was in a similar state.

"I'll see you later?" He asked.

I hesitated for a moment before shaking my head. "Tomorrow." I promised. "There's something I need to do."

"Okay." He said with a nod. It was one of the things I loved about Eddie: his trust. It was not easy to earn, but when earned, that trust all but governed the relationship. Indeed, it certainly influenced our friendship; time after time, Eddie had trusted me when everyone else seemed to doubt. Perhaps it was naive, but I believed it did far more to inspire loyalty than to weaken his character. It also made him a strong and dependable friend, which was certainly something I esteemed, particularly in light of everything that was happening. And so, with that nod and a quick hug, we parted ways.

Killian, for all his merits, did not have the same trusting nature. For as he stepped into my stride, he muttered the words: "This better be legal."

I laughed. "I am shocked, Hazza. When have I ever broken the law?"

He cocked a brow. "I'll refer you to the reason I am following you around…"

"That was the Academy rules, _not_ the law." I pointed out. "Very different."

He gave me a pointed look. "I'm afraid that while you under the roof of St. Vladimir's, they are synonymous."

"Relax." I said. "I can assure you that my intentions are pure."

"Mhmm."

I rolled my eyes. "You know, you are going to be so disappointed when you realise I am right."

"Huh, I wasn't aware that Hell had frozen over…" he said, a smirk ghosting the corners of his mouth.

I gave him a gentle shove with my shoulder. "Rude." I muttered as we turned a corner.

In spite of Killian's disbelief, there was no dark scheme which I had concocted throughout my last lecture, but instead a realisation. I had not forgotten Adrian's words over lunchtime regarding Lissa: his advice was usually something to be taken with a pinch of salt, but no matter how I tried to justify it, I had spent less and less time with my best friend and even though it hadn't completely driven a wedge between us, it was a slippery slope to be sure. And if it was indeed Headmaster Lazar behind everything, and if I was indeed right about his motivation, then one thing was for sure:

Vasilisa Dragomir was very much in danger.

* * *

"I love you."

"Rose, it's one o'clock in the morning" came the groggy, sleep-deprived response from the eye-rubbing Vasilisa Dragomir.

"Right, well - I can explain that." I said, coming into her room and setting the box in my hand down on her desk. "I've recently realised that I haven't exactly been the best of friends lately, so I am here to rectify that."

She remained frowning. "What are you talking about?"

"I made cookies." I said opening the box to reveal a selection of freshly baked white chocolate and raspberry cookies. "Well, Dimitri made them." I admitted, casting my gaze down to the box as Lissa eyed me skeptically. "I did try though, and Killian gave it a shot, but we gave up in the end and just asked Dimitri: it's why I am a little late. I thought we could revive our midnight tradition." I said with a smile.

At this, she smiled back at me. "When we were in Portland..." she said, remembering back to the nights spent tucked under a duvet with a solid helping of baked goods to keep us away from our troubles.

I nodded, reminiscing a little as I thought back to what seemed a lifetime ago. "Cookie?" I said, offering the box. She laughed, shook her head and shut the door. "Seriously, I would recommend having one: they are bloody brilliant. I had three on the way here."

"Only three?" she said as she took one from the box.

I narrowed my eyes. "Fine, five."

She laughed and plonked down on her bed. "So, what was this for?"

I sat down beside her cross-legged, placing the box in my lap. With a small sigh, I offered my reply. "An apology really. I know I haven't really been around that much."

"Rose, I understand. You don't have to be sorry." Lissa assured.

"I think I do. We've been so distant lately and I've missed having you around."

"I've missed you too." she said with a smile.

"And I know you've not been feeling to great lately-"

"What?" she said with a frown.

I felt my guilt rise. "I know you've not been feeling the best after the attack."

She shrugged a little, her gaze diverting. "We were all hit by it, some more than most." she said, her eyes flicking over to mine warily. "So, yeah, I guess I had been feeling a little down. And using my magic didn't really help. But I'm fine now."

At this, I frowned. "Are you sure?"

She looked up at me. "Yeah, of course." she said plainly. "What made you think otherwise?"

"Well, Adrian might have suggested something..."

She did not look impressed. "Has it occured to you that Adrian might not know everything?" she said with a slight scowl.

I grimaced. "Oh, regularly."

I saw Lissa's face fall into a frown again. "Is that why Christian has been acting so weird today?"

 _Ah._ I winced a little, having forgotten all about our friendly pyromaniac given the drama which had followed regarding Reed. "Maybe...to be completely honest, I haven't seen him since lunchtime when Adrian 'voiced his concerns'."

Lissa's scowl deepened. "I am going to kill him."

I hummed. "Maybe wait a little: he still has his uses."

She shook her head, her emerald gaze blazing. "He needs to keep his nose out of things that don't concern him."

I blinked. Somewhat taken aback by her uncharacteristic tone, which was intensified by my earlier concerns regarding her safety, I felt my brow furrow and eyed her skeptically. "Liss, you alright?"

She blinked and I saw the fire in her eyes fall away as though it had never been there in the first place. "Yeah, why?"

I continued to frown. "Nothing." I said, though, of course, not at all meaning it.

She didn't seem to notice my deceit. "How is Guardian Belikov doing? I've been meaning to ask." she asked before taking a bit out of the cookie.

I elected to let her previous comment slip. After all, she was probably just tired - and it was Adrian so, understandable really. I was probably just over-thinking this. "Yeah, he's doing great. Really great, actually."

"Oh my goodness, I can tell!" she said after another bite of the white chocolate and raspberry _dream_ of a cookie. "You said he made these?" she asked, looking up at me.

I chuckled. "Yup. He is annoyingly good at everything."

She laughed a little. "I thought you'd be thrilled - having someone who can cook for you." she said with a wink.

At this, I laughed. "It is certainly something I am planning on exploiting."

She giggled. "I would expect nothing less."

I grinned. "Mhmm."

She smiled, her countenance softening. "So, you two are really serious." she said.

I nodded, a small smile crossing my features. "Yeah, we really are."

Her smile grew. "Oh, I am so happy for you right now." she said, biting her lip as she always did when she was excited but trying hard to not get over-excited.

"Are you sure you're not just excited for all the cookies you'll end up getting as a result?" I said, my tone light and teasing.

She mock gasped. "How dare you even consider such a thing." she said, giving me a light push. She reached into the box and, having finished the first, pulled out another cookie. "Though I will certainly not be so rude as to object to a few baked goods along the way…"

I laughed. "So, how has your week been since I haven't really been around?" I asked, deciding to keep the conversation light.

She shrugged. "So-so. Tatiana is still on my back, but hanging out with Avery has really been helping."

I felt a tightening in my chest as she said Avery's name. "I'm sure." I couldn't help myself from muttering.

Lissa thankfully took no notice. "Yeah, she's been absolutely amazing." she said. "Just in telling me to relax and not let everything get to me, you know. Some things are more important in life that school and work: life is meant to be lived."

"Yeah…" I said a little cautiously.

She shrugged again before finishing the cookie. "It's why I haven't been to any lessons this week."

My head shot up. "What?"

She grinned. "It has been so good. I realise why you do it so often - you get such a kick out of it."

"Yeah…" I said, not really having much of a defense for that. "But aren't there, like, exams soon?" I knew for a fact that Lissa had eleven exams at the end of this year, all of which making up the bulk of her overall grade, and she had been stressing about them since we were about eleven.

I was not even kidding.

With this very much in mind, I was shocked to witness her laugh and shake her head. "Shesh, Rose: when did you become such a kill joy. Exams aren't that important."

Right.

This was not tiredness. Something was definitely up. In spite of my own low view of academia, this was serious: no way would Lissa ever miss an entire week of lessons and be so chill about it.

"Liss, you've been gearing yourself for years for these tests." I said.

She rolled her eyes. "Maybe I've just finally realised that there is more to life than just exams. Avery certainly thinks so. And so did you, once upon a time."

I frowned, my eyes scrutinising over her features. "I don't think you can count either of us as 'role models', Lissa."

I saw her eyes widen before she fell into a sneer. "Oh my God, you're jealous."

"What?"

"You are jealous of Avery. That's why you are here!"

"I am not." I said flatly.

"Yes you are!" she said, rising to her feet. "You are jealous!"

And that's when I felt it.

The darkness.

I was no stranger to darkness, particularly not with Lissa, but this was something else. This was Darkness 2.0. Like bacteria mutated to become a superbug, this infection within Lissa was resisting well.

It was resisting _me_ well.

Normally, when darkness hit I knew within moments - hell, I was often dragged into it myself- but this time I hadn't noticed it in the slightest. It was subtle, but strong and for a moment, I could only watch as it consumed my friend.

"You are pathetic, Rose. Bribing me with cookies!?" she said, throwing one such cookie straight at me. "How old are you? Six!? And what grounds do you have to tell _me_ what to do? I am better - I have _always_ been better - than you: you are nothing. You are meaningless. You are pointless. You are _nothing_. Is it any wonder that I prefer Avery over you?"

I felt her darkness rise and tried to suck it out. But something was stopping me: it was as though there was a force pulling it from the other side, keeping it within her.

"Lissa! Stop: this isn't you." I said, fruitlessly echoing Dimitri's words to me from so long ago.

But it was to no avail. "You think you know me?" She said with a scoff. "You know nothing, Rose. You are weak and pathetic and have always been stupid." she spat.

"Lissa, listen to me: this isn't you." I affirmed again, rising up to my knees on her bed as I strengthened my focus. _Come on, you bastard!_

But again, I was shut down. I let out a mental scream as I felt the darkness flare up across the bond. "You are so pathetic, Rose." she sneered, her normally lyrical voice devoiced and rendered cold. "It's no wonder you're whoring yourself out to your teacher…"

I felt myself freeze. _No, Lissa: please..._

"What is he? Like 30? How desperate are you!? He's probably old enough to be your father."

 _Lissa!_

"And you actually love him? Ha! Makes sense really since your dad was never around. What a pitiful cliché you are!"

 _This isn't you. This isn't you. This isn't you._

"And what is he now? Just a blind, useless. old man. It's probably a good thing that he can't see, just so he can't see you for the worthless piece of crap you are."

There.

In amongst the flurry of abuse, I snagged my window and broke through the guard. For a moment, I found myself looking at myself through Lissa's eyes.

But there was something different.

Being inside her head was never the most comfortable of experiences - it felt cramped, unnatural and destabilising to say the least. But that day it felt even more cramped than usual.

It was almost as if someone else was there.

And oh, how right I was! No sooner had the thought popped into my head did I feel a shift in her mind - like a shadow lurking in her periphery, I felt something move: panicked and afraid. Seconds later, I was shoved back into my own head at such a force that it knocked me back. Lissa, for her part, had ceased in her raging to stagger back, gripping her temples with clenched fists. She had her eyes squeezed shut and she cried out:

"Get out of my head! Get out of my room! God, I wish I let you die."

* * *

"I hate you."

"Rose, it's three o'clock in the morning." came the groggy, sleep-deprived response from the eye-rubbing Adrian Ivashkov

I didn't feel particularly honour-bond to give Adrian the same courtesy I had shown Lissa. Heck, I didn't even feel that guilty for waking him up, not least because of the dreamwalking shit I had had to put up with over the course of our acquaintance. "Well, now you know how it feels."

He chuckled, but let me in all the same. "This better be good: you have interrupted a very interesting game."

I looked around his room. It was a nice room with a large stretched sofa facing a real fire that was surrounded by a marble mantlepiece, separated by a long rectangular coffee table; adjacent to the sofa was a small, tartan armchair and the bed (king-sized, of course) rested behind the sofa. Heck, it even had a full-sized kitchen, complete with island, at the back of the room, with a door which I assume led to the toilet. In short: certainly better than the standard-issued dorms that we were stuck with. However, for all the extravagance of Adrian's room, it seemed almost completely lifeless. His bed was still made, and I could swear I could actually see dust frosting the crisp, unscathed sheets. That same spotlessness continued everywhere I looked: there was no personal items on the shelves; no rubbish on the floor; his clothes, of which I knew he had many, were neatly stashed away in cupboards and wardrobes, out of the way and out of sight. Aside from the open decanter on the coffee table, the worn-in armchair and the presence of the actual person, I could easily be fooled into thinking that no-one lived here.

"Don't you sleep?" I asked.

"Not often." He said shutting the door. "Are you offering to help?" he asked with a wink.

I scowled at him. "Definitely not." I said. He laughed. I sat down on the sofa and frowned at the empty table. "Sorry, what game were you playing?"

"Chess." he said as though it were obvious, in spite of the fact that there was definitely not a chessboard or indeed anything remotely resembling a chessboard lying about this room.

I rolled my eyes, really not in the mood for his riddles. "You are terrible at giving advice." I said, getting straight to the point.

"Oh?" he said, plonking down in his chair and picking up his glass of whiskey. "How so?"

"I went to see Lissa." I said with a grimace. "It did not end well."

He cocked a brow. "And this is my fault because…?"

"It was your stupid lecture that started it all off."

He shrugged. "Michael I was the first Romanov Tsar of Russia. Was it his fault that they fell in 1917."

"My point is," I said, still glaring at him, "that it is not just my bad friendship that is driving her away."

"I never said it was."

I all but growled. "Could you get off your high-horse for a second and listen: I am pissed off already and I do not need you making it worse." I snapped.

At this, he looked vaguely amused. "You were expecting sympathy at three o'clock in the morning?"

"Touche."

He waved it off. "No, no: continue. I sense there's something you wish to tell me."

I nodded. "I think Eugene Lazar is our Spirit user."

Adrian paused. "Interesting."

I frowned. "Interesting?"

He nodded. "Interesting." he repeated. "Why?"

My frown deepened. "What do you mean: 'why'? He's Reed's father."

"And that makes him his bondmate?"

I threw my hands up. "Well, who else is it going to be? Avery?" I said.

He shrugged, taking a gulp of the liquor. "Why not?"

"She's air." I pointed out.

"And he's earth." Adrian countered.

I blinked. "What?" I said. "How do you know that?"

"Oh, come on, it's obvious: everything about him screams 'I've specialised in earth'." Adrian stated. "But that aside, I saw him use it during a class tutorial. Oh, and his aura also confirms it, but I wouldn't exactly trust my judgement on that just now…" he said, trailing off a little before finishing his drink in one last gulp.

I knew exactly what he was referring to. "Hey, don't beat yourself up about that: I missed it too and I _am_ the same bloody thing."

He smiled. "Drinks all round then." he said, pouring two new glasses.

I took the glass and clinked it against his. "So it's not a Lazar then?" I said, leaning back. "Damn it." Back to square one.

Adrian just shrugged again. "I honestly do not know. Whoever is behind this is not only heartless, but clever and manipulative and quite probably a megalomaniac."

"They're powerful too." I added. "Very powerful. I was forcefully shoved out of Lissa's head earlier."

His eyes flicked towards mine. "If they can do that, then I don't doubt their ability to conceal their true nature from the likes of me, or indeed anyone for that matter."

I took a gulp of my drink, forgetting that I actually really hate whiskey. I hissed a little as it went down before crying out in frustration. "Urgh! Why can't it just be simple?"

Adrian leaned back and closed his eyes. "Ah, why indeed."

"I mean...ghosts!" I said, pointing at the Moroi with my drink and getting a little hysterical in the process. "What's the connection there?"

He opened an eyelid. "Could be auditioning for an Ivan Reitman?"

I scowled, before dropping my hand, my drink and then my head. "Urgh. Why can't we solve this? Why can't we just have a normal run at high school? Is that really too much to ask?" I said, knowing full well how pathetic I sounded, but really not giving a shit. "The man I love is blind, my best friend is all but possessed and there's an unknown megalomaniac torturing the deceased - how does that constitute 'high school'?"

But Adrian only smiled. "Oh, little dhampir: if it were normal, you would be bored out your mind."

I smiled and laughed weakly, shaking my head as I did. "Yeah, I am really that messed up." I said, finishing the rest of my bitter beverage.

We sat in silence for a moment, but I could see that Adrian was pondering something. After a while he smiled and asked: "Rose, how are you at chess?"

I put down the glass and frowned. "Not great." I answered honestly.

His smile widened. "It's not important." he said, pushing himself from his chair and sitting opposite me on the sofa. I retreated a little on instinct and even more when he reached for my hands.

"Woah, what are you doing?"

"Experimenting." he said, taking a hold of my hands. He flipped them over so my palms faced the ceiling and he rested his own palms atop mine, stretching out two fingers on each as though to measure my pulse. "Copy me."

I frowned. "What?"

"Come on, what's the worst that can happen at this point?" he said, encouraging me on.

I grimaced before complying and stretching out my middle and forefingers across to his wrist. "Alright, done."

"Okay, I'm going to try something: not sure if it'll work. I need you to close your eyes and think about falling asleep, but don't actually otherwise this definitely won't work."

Still grimacing, I closed my eyes and thought of sleep. The lure of slumber was working strong within me, but I strove to stay awake.

"Okay, that's good. You might feel a flush in a moment…" he said.

I was about to object when a wave of warmth spread across me, spanning from my wrists all across my body.

"Ah-ha," Adrian remarked and I could almost feel his smile in his tone. "Right, I think we're ready."

"Ready for what?" I asked.

Again, I could feel his smile. "You'll see."

I continued frowning when all of a sudden I felt myself floating. On instinct, I opened my eyes and glanced around: I was no longer in Adrian's spotless room, but what looked to be a void of mist and fog; I appeared to be surrounded by a colourless smog that shifted like smoke in the wind every time I moved. I turned my head and saw Adrian, who was grinning like there was no tomorrow.

"It worked." he said.

I, however, was not so chirpy. "Ivashkov, what have you done? Where are we?"

He said nothing, but put his finger to his lips. "Shhh."

I felt the world shift around me, the fog parting and dissolving to reveal what looked like a library. Granted, I hadn't been to a lot of libraries, but I definitely did not recognise this one. Books seemed to plaster the walls around and were only separated by the deep colour of the wooden shelves that they were stack in. Light shone in through stained glass which gave a golden tint to the entire room. I spun around and found myself looking at a table, made from the same redwood as the shelves and upon it, a chess board.

But that was the least of my interests: for I was much more entranced with what was behind it...

"Ah, Adrian - you're back. What was the– _Roza_?"

"Dimitri..."

* * *

 **Hello my dear comrades in Comrade :D**

 **So...? Like it? Love it? Hate it? I'm not going to lie, this has not been my finest work. I actually wrote most of this chapter within about a day of posting the last one, but I just wasn't happy about it. Then I had the joy of all my coursework deadlines and as such writing was very much benched, as it were. If I'm being completely honest, I'm not 100% satisfied with this edit (particularly with Lissa's bit in the middle - I still don't really think the tone is right), so any thoughts would be great :)**

 **On a much more positive note - I am offically free! Semester Uno has been completed and I basically have nothing to do until next Monday, aside from a few shifts, bits of Russian and church on Sunday, thus, much time for writing ;)**

 **I shall, therefore, hope to see you soon, but for now here's wishing you all the best,  
Mariary x**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy or anything surrounding it (but I do own this plot :D)**

* * *

DPOV

"Good evening, John." I said, as I heard the sound of the gym door open. "I'll be just a minute."

"No, no: you take your time, Guardian Belikov. I am no rush." came the reply from the Academy's caretaker. His voice was soft yet muffled by age and I had recognized his musty scent as he had entered the room. I remembered he was a skinny fellow in his mid-sixties who still wore his wedding band and carried his late wife's around his neck. A kind soul and, more importantly to me, not one to pity.

"Have a nice night, Guardian Belikov." he said as I made my exit.

I smiled back. "You too, John."

It had become something of a routine, him and I meeting each day as the Academy slept. I enjoyed the peace that the silent gym gave me and revelled in the opportunity to practice alone and free from any stares, bar that of the unjudging John. I helped him pack away the mats and clean up for the following day before heading back to my room.

It was a cold night, colder than usual; I could feel the cool leather of my duster flapping against the exposed skin of my ankles as I walked through the empty corridors. I did not require my stick and had not put my glasses on for they made difference to me; to be perfectly honest, they were more for the benefit of others anyway and since no-one was around, I decided to forgo them for once.

There was an eerie quietness to the night. They say that when you lose one sense, the others become heightened; in truth, I was not sue if I fully believed that, but I had certainly been depending on my hearing the most of all. Silence had always been a source of comfort and as a result I was very familiar with it. That hadn't changed. In fact, silence had become something of a baseline, like a plain white sheet where sounds and noises were like colours that stained it. When I could see, I saw how people reacted, what they thought and felt, but now I heard it - subtle changes in tone and tremors in rhythm gave away as much as a shift in gaze or a twitch in the body ever could. It was strange to be sure, uncomfortable even, yet in its own way it made me feel more focused for I was less distracted by the flurry and coloured spectacle the sight gave me. I knew I had come quite a way in coming to terms and indeed accepting what had happened, but it was only now that I was really beginning to find merit in my new situation.

Though, of course, there was still that one obvious drawback...

" _Dimitri."_

My head shot up and my whole body tensed. I turned my head to the side to better hear while my hand instinctively wrapped around my stake. "Who is there?" I asked using what Rose would call my 'mentor voice'. Authority was definitely key in this situation. When no reply came, I felt my face descend into a scowl. "I will ask again: who is there?" I repeated, not bothering to hide my irritation.

It was then that I heard it again. " _Dimitri."_ My name was whispered to me like it was an oddity of the wind's whistle: almost as though someone was calling me from afar.

I was still scowling, very much operating under the notion that it was the work of a couple of disrespectful students lurking in the night. "I am losing my patience: who is there?"

What followed put me right on edge. " _Друг...пожалуйста...это я...это Vanya..._ "

My blood ran cold as my heart jumped a beat. Vanya. I knew many, but only one had _that_ voice.

And there was no faking that.

" _Vanya?"_ No reply. _"Vanya! Ты здесь? Где ты!? Ivan!"_

" _Dimitri…"_ the sound of his voice trailed off like a train leaving station while I stood still on the platform.

And just like that, he was gone.

I stood for a moment and contemplated my own sanity. This could not be real. It couldn't. Could it? For all of my thoughts over ghosts and shadows and other worlds, I had taken some comfort in the fact I did not have to personally deal with it; of course, it pained me to no end to watch Rose tormented by it and if there was anything that I could do or shoulder to help her in any way, I would in a heartbeat.

I guess you really do have to be careful what you wish for.

Ivan Zeklos. I had been haunted by him since the day of his death, yet never quite literally. A shudder ran through my being. How could it be him? I was not shadow-kissed. I had not crossed that threshold. I had no connection to the ghostly realm in the way that Rose did, or at least I thought I did not. Had I died that night?

That thought and Ivan's voice remained swirling in my head as I numbly walked back to my room. _Ivan..._ The silence of the Academy had returned, yet it offered no peace to the situation. _Had I died...?_

It was only with the addition of further noise that I was broken out of the trance that my thoughts had put me into.

"No, you are not breaking another door down-"

"I wasn't going to!"

"He's probably asleep, leave him be."

"He's not asleep. He's just being stubborn and ignoring us."

And there was my levity: my salvation.

"Nice to know you have such a high opinion of me." I said, having stepped around the corner of the corridor that lead to my room to address the two arguing figures standing outside my door.

"Oh, Guardian Belikov, I do apologize." said the elder and far more courteous of the two.

"Oh, pish: everyone knows that high standards will get you nothing but disappointment." came the other reply.

I allowed myself to smile at that one. "Good evening, Rose. What is it that I can help you with tonight?" I said, maintaining a level and professional tone.

I heard her scoff. "Hey, who's to say it isn't Hazza that needs your help?"

I cocked a brow, suppressing both my smile and my laugh as I imagined Guardian O'Hara's reaction. "I do not believe that requires an answer."

I could feel her scowl. "Well, actually, _Guardian O'Hara_ here has proved himself incapable of the issue at hand and so does, in fact, require your assistance."  
I took a step forward to unlock my door. "But is not the 'issue at hand' fundamentally yours?" I asked as the lock clicked open.

While I could not see, I could picture her standing there with her arms folded and face smirking. "Perhaps at first, but his involvement has now made him an accessory. Ergo, it is his issue to." she said as she stepped into my room, Killian presumably in tow.

"This is not my issue." came his grumbled reply.

I dumped my I.D. and keys on the desk. "I am afraid she has made a good case, Guardian O'Hara."

"What, I-" his tone suggested his confusion over the situation. I felt a little bad for teasing him, but - continuing the legal metaphor - he appeared as collateral in my teasing (and, I won't lie, flirting) with Rose. "She wants you to make some cookies."

I smiled as Rose tutted. "Oh, take all the fun out of it, why don't you." she said. "They're for Lissa." she clarified.

Shrugging off my duster and tossing it onto my desk chair, I stretched out my back and rolled up my sleeves. "Salted caramel or white chocolate and raspberry?"

* * *

I went to sleep that night with two people on my mind. The first was Rose, but that was not something unusual: she was always on my mind in some form or another, but her stunt that night had secured her place at the forethought of my consciousness. I mean, only she could come knocking on my door at half eleven - well passed the curfew, and thus a punishable offense - to ask me to bake some cookies. Only Rose.

Oh, dear God, did I love her.

And it was that love that had distracted me for the best part of two hours from the second person on my mind: Ivan. The guilt I felt for the loss of my dear friend had never fully gone away; it would appear without notice and stop me right in my tracks. But this was something else entirely. I tried to convince myself that it had just been my imagination, but no amount of persuasion could shake the cold chill from my spine. Surely it had not been him. Yet, I was not so sure.

I went to sleep more out of need that will that evening. When I did succumb to Hypnos, I found myself back in a place that I thought I had forgotten:

The St Basil's Academy.

My school.

Like so many of my dreams, it seemed so empty, for all my memories seemed to play their course in sound rather than sight: echoes of past conversations, games and debates bounced off the pillared walls and carried through the empty corridors. It was a huge, classical building, designed I believe by an Italian during the eighteenth century: a work of art that stood alongside so many in the Moscow skyline. I could remember the very first day that I arrived at its gates: a Siberian boy of sixteen alone in an unfamiliar city greeted by an explosion of colour and artistry - the product of a clashing between the late Italian Renaissance and early Russian Enlightenment.

And that was where it all began. Within two years, I had met and bonded with a certain Moroi who held a particular knack for witt and liveliness, balanced with measure and control. Ivan was never one to turn down a good time, but never let it dictate him. He was self-aware and so never took himself too seriously: a truly good man, now lost to the world.

All down to one mistake.

"Well, this is different." Adrian's voice startled me a little. I turned and saw him scrutinising his surroundings, peering towards the decorated walls for closer inspection. "Are we in Tuscany?"

"Moscow." I answered simply.

He blinked and took a step back. "Really? Well, it certainly explains the cold. Could you not put some central heating in your dreams?"

I glowered a little, somewhat resenting the fact that he had interrupted what was actually a very tender memory. "Are you ever satisfied?" I asked.

"Is anyone?" was his shrugged reply.

I rolled my eyes, not appreciated his antics. "Perhaps not eternally, but certainly from time to time."

He chuckled. "I suppose. Are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Satisfied."

I was certainly satisfied that he was an ass. "Sure." I said.

"You sound it." he scoffed a little.

"It is rapidly reducing." I muttered.

He laughed. "Ah, fair enough. Shall we get on with this then? I'm feeling good about today."

Much like with John, Adrian and I had fallen somewhat into a routine. His dreamwalking provided me with the opportunity for much more immersive conversation and thus him with someone willing to tolerate his dreamwalking in the first place. It was a strange arrangement, made even stranger by the fact that neither of us particularly liked the other, but oddly beneficial as we both seemed to derive some comfort from the situation. Adrian was, however, careful not to overdo it in such a way that neither of us would become 'overly attached', for which I was deeply grateful. Thus, we found ourselves meeting in dreams a couple of times a week and Friday night had naturally manifested itself into a chess night.

I could feel the world around us change again as the thought of playing chess caused my mind to wander from the decorative corridors of St. Basil's into the equally, if not more so, stunning surroundings of the old library. I heard Ivan's voice again, this time as a laugh, as I remembered the long nights we spent here attempting to work our way through a seemingly never-ending reading list, our progress somewhat slowed down as we frequently stopped for a game of chess or cards. I could still remember the feel of those cards in my palm or of the pieces of worn wooden figures, hand-carved by one of Ivan's relatives (an uncle if I remembered rightly) and given as a Christmas present. It seemed such an odd thing to remember so clearly, but such was the unpredictable and inexplicable nature of memory. I found my eyes drifting towards one of the old tables used for study where that same chessboard now lay. A smile crossed my features and I almost forgot that Adrian was even there, for he seemed quietly enamoured with his new surroundings.

"Huh," He said, after a while.

I smiled and looked up. "Beautiful, isn't it?"

A small smile twitched at the edge of his mouth. "Yeah… Makes St. Vlad's look like a piece of sh-"

"Shall we get started?" I said, cutting him off before he could finish that one.

He shook his head, smirking and plonking himself down on the chair behind the white pieces. "Do you do that to Rose?"

 _Like I could even try._ I mentally scoffed, but outwardly smiled. "I playing a long game with that one." I said.

He chuckled. "A _very_ long game." he corrected. "I fear her stubbornness may outlive us all."

At this, I chuckled. "It is very probable." I said.

I sat down opposite and he made his move. "Having said that though, you are pretty stubborn too."

I frowned. "Meaning?"

"Well, it might just become endless showdown with no actual winner."

I shrugged and moved my pawn. "I am willing to give it a shot."

We fell into a companionable silence for the next few moves. I had noticed Adrian was playing a more intentional game, thereby suggesting that at some point during the week he had done a bit of research. That made me smile, for we had played each other thrice and, without wanting to sound too boastful, each time I had indeed won - Ivashkov was on a mission today.

"Ah, shit." He said when I moved my rook in line with his bishop.

I smiled and shook my head. "It is better not to emulate already played games." I pointed out.

He grimaced. "Bobby Fischer: you have let me down, mate." he said, begrudgingly moving his bishop out the way and settling in to ponder the board. "You alright?" he asked as he moved his queen.

I looked up and frowned. "What?"

He met my gaze with a bored yet knowing look. "I know you're not the most talkative of people, Belikov, but you have been especially quiet today. Something's up."

I felt a shudder run down my spine as thoughts of Ivan re-entered my mind. "I'm fine." I said, and moved my knight to reassure him.

He scoffed. "You're lying." he said making another move.

"Perhaps I am." I responded to both his comment and his move. "Though it would not be without good reason." I assured when he looked at me with no little concern.

He sighed. "I guess we all have our reasons to stay quiet."

His comment puzzled me. Obviously, he had his secrets, and even the stuff he did impart didn't offer much in the way of illumination, but this seemed different. I suspected it had something to do with Reed (whose Shadow Kissed disposition had been conveyed to me by both Rose and Killian earlier on in the evening), but I did not pry: it was certainly the last thing Adrian wanted to have me poking about his troubles, and I certainly respected him enough to leave him be. And, though I doubted if he'd ever admit it, the respect went both ways, indicative by the fact he let the topic go and went back to the game. Within a few more moves he was back in, playing a much more unique, thus statistically better, game. Tentatively, he moved in to threaten my knight. I paused for a moment to consider my next move when, all of a sudden, he jumped.

I looked up. "You okay?"

He blinked and looked off to the side. "Yeah...just, I think someone's at my door."

I frowned before getting his meaning, only to then frown again. "At this time?"

"Yeah…" he said, his brow furrowing further. "I might have just imag-" he stopped again and bobbed his head from side to side. "Nope, someone is definitely looking for me." he said with a wide grin on his face and a wink in my direction.

"If that be the case, you should probably answer it." I said nonchalantly, looking down at the board.

He narrowed his eyes. "How do I know you won't mess with my pieces?"

I looked up at him. "I am not eight years old."

He cocked a brow. "Wouldn't stop me..."

 _Of course it wouldn't._ I resisted shaking my head. "Just go and see who it is."

With one last sceptical glance, he hummed before I watched his figure fade, like smoke from a snuffed-out candle.

He was gone for good while. I found myself reclining back into my chair, relaxing a little as I examined the board. I felt my eyes trace across every element of colour as they scanned the game before me. It still all seemed so real. Maybe too real. I had to constantly remind myself, almost to an exhausting extent, that this was all the work of a combination of my imagination and my memory. Though there was some aid given by the combination of remembered fact and imagined fiction. This library, for example, certainly held the shape and basic colouring of the one in the lower west wing of St Basil's Academy, but certain elements I could see were embellished: the engravings on the shelves and the design of the furniture seemed to belong more in an art gallery and certainly were not part of the original structure of the library (or if they were, there would never be this well preserved within the Academy budget). Even the general colour of the room seemed saturated and intensified, as though my imagination had put a filter across my memory which caused an outburst of colour and contrast across the landscape. It was something I was noticing a lot of in my dreams of late; I suspected it was a certain form of counter-reaction since my days were kept solely in darkness, making me miss the so basic and underrated pleasure found in everyday colour.

It was probably a good thing that it was so saturated as it too acted as a reminded of the fantastical nature of my dreams and the world which I could see.

I was still examining the board when I saw Adrian's figure reappear just beyond the table. "Ah, Adrian - you're back." I said, scanning the board one last time before looking up. "What was the-"

I jumped up from my chair, my knee hitting the table and jolting the board. I froze.

For a faction of a second, I thought I had completely lost the plot. Even when my mental faculties kicked themselves awake to tell me what I was seeing wasn't real, I could not help her name slip through my open mouth. " _Roza."_ I more whispered her name than spoke it, afraid that too harsh an exclamation would cause her to vanish from my sight, like an animal in the wild.

But she did not.

She neither vanished, nor moved an inch. Instead, she too stood frozen and staring at me as though I were a ghost. "Dimitri…" came her equally stunned reply.

We could have probably just stood there for an eternity, had it not been for the other party present at that moment. "Ah, Belikov - you've gone and knocked down your king." Adrian said as his attention strayed no further than the board.

I didn't even bother looking down. "Keep it down." I said and within two strides, I had cupped her cheeks and pulled her lips to mine, pulling her body closer to my own. I felt her respond almost immediately: her hands worked their way around my waist and pulled me in tighter still. I pulled away just to breath and found myself staring into her deep brown irises, the golden flecks within them seeming even more pronounced than they had been before, reminding me of how truly mediocre my memory was. She blinked a couple of times before coming round.

"Heya, comrade." she said, a wide smile encompassing her face as she looked up and into my own eyes.

I could feel myself tearing up just a little. I didn't even care. My dampened eyes shifted as I drank in her every feature, committing it all to my memory. "You are real." I said, more as a statement than a question. I knew she was. I could tell. There was nothing embellished about her - perfectly imperfect and perfectly honest.

She nodded all the same. "Always." I watched as the act caused her hair to shift. I lifted a finger to thread its way through those soft locks.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the light of the room change: as though the sun was rising from outside, the library became golder and brighter. The light filled the whole room, but I marvelled at the way it shimmered against Rose's long, dark curls: how it highlighted the lighter brown elements that swirled against the darker colours like molten caramel and chocolate. "You are so beautiful." I whispered, as my finger caressed her cheekbones.

A perfect moment…

Short-lived as it was.

"Ahem: still here. Come on: let's keep this good, clean, family fun people."

"Shut up, Adrian." Rose said, scowling over at the man.

"Shesh, a little gratitude would be nice." came Adrian's muttered reply.

I remained entirely awe-stricken, unwilling to either lose this moment or avert my gaze from the woman before me. "How…?" I whispered, but loud enough for him to hear. Rose's eyes flicked back to mine as I moved my thumb down to brush against her lips.

"She's with me. Dreamwalking, that is." He explained. "It was something I had heard about. I'm not really sure how long I can hold this for, but I thought I'd give it a shot. Quite impressive if you ask me."

I didn't bother looking up for I could very much picture his smugness.

The thought brought a smile to my lips. Rose caught my gaze and just shook her head. "It's pretty awesome." She conceded, smiling first at me before looking around. "Where are we?" she said, stepping out of my arms to gaze up at the decorated ceiling before her eyes traced their way down and around the many shelves of books that lined the room.

"Moscow." Adrian answered confidently.

"My school." I added, causing them both to turn to me.

"This is your school?" Rose said, her eyes wide and bright. "This makes St. Vlads look like a piece of shit."

"Ha! Totally called it!" Adrian said, grinning a little.

I smiled at them both. "You are both as bad as each other." I said.

"Two peas in a pod, eh Rose?" he said with a wink.

She rolled her eyes and continued to look around the room. I watched her smile grow as she did. She found my eyes, and her smile grew again. "See something you like?"

I beamed at both the question and the memory it held. "I see you." I replied with a teasing tone.

She narrowed her eyes. "And are those mutually exclusive…?"

I cocked a brow, but said nothing.

She mock-gasped. "Rude."

"Urgh, you two are insufferable." Adrian said, plonking himself back down on the chair.

Rose shrugged. "Meh, it's your own fault for bringing me along."

"Oh, shall I take you back?"

She glared at him. "You dare, you die."

I laughed a little at the seriousness in her tone. Stepping forward, my arms encircled her waist from behind and I pulled her into my chest, resting my chin upon the crown of her head. "Try to cut back on the death-threats, my love."

I felt her head turn and lean into me and her eyes closed as she smiled. "You were thinking the same thing - don't even try and hide it."

I chuckled and flicked my eyes towards the emerald-eyed Moroi. "Thank you, Adrian, is what I believe Rose meant to say."

Rose opened her eyes to shoot me a humoured expression while the Moroi in question scoffed. "Bullshit."

"He's got a point."

I gave her a look of my own. "Well, I am saying thank you."

Adrian offered a little, seated bow. "I aim to please. And besides, it seems we've all had a pretty shitty day - thought I'd try and lighten our spirits. However, I do now feel a bit sick…"

I shook my head and heard Rose laugh. "Again, your own fault, mate." she said, looking up. I lifted my chin from her head to meet her eyes. She smiled, but there was something in her expression: a subtle wistfulness, mixed with hesitancy. I frowned a little, which was enough to incite a response. "No, it's just-" she sighed softly. "I've missed your eyes."

I felt my face soften and gave a small smile of my own. "Me too."

She leaned her head back on my chest, over my heart. I held her tight, a part of me never wanting to let go. What Adrian had done went far beyond a mere improvement on the day: not only had he reassured himself of his own self-worth, but he had given me a most precious gift. Without question, Rose Hathaway was the most precious thing in my life. She had no equal: not even my sight could compare. What Adrian had done was not so much about _seeing_ her, but about seeing _her._ As the hours past, I made a point of committing this moment, of committing _her_ , to my battered and worn memory, savouring every detail before it was lost to reality.

Indeed, we are always told to hold onto our dreams, and there was absolutely no way I was letting this one go.

* * *

RPOV

I felt my eyes flutter and found myself looking into the fierce, emerald gaze of Adrian Ivashkov. He looked a little worse for wear, but was still smirking.

"Come on then, admit it: you love me." He said, releasing my hands.

One look at the smugness of his face would be enough to warrant a good punch in said face. However, given what had just happened, I decided to let him have this one. "You have certainly gone up in my estimation."

He harrumphed. "Oh, how you flatter me so!" he retorted sarcastically.

"Hey, don't ruin it."

"You know what, I am just going to pretend that you just thanked me - for the sake of our friendship." he said, pushing himself to his feet. He moaned a little as he stretched out his limbs.

I chuckled a little before my expression softened. The warmth that I felt had not left my person and, his incorrigible ego aside, there was no denying the magnitude of what Adrian had just done. "Thank you, Adrian. Thank you so, so much."

He looked back at me. I expected more smugness, but - with a certainly unexpected amount of dignity and grace - he gave a simple nod. "You are welcome, Rose." he said in a moment of pure, untainted understanding and respect. Though in true Adrian fashion, he added: "Does that mean we'll be having sex?" with a devilish smile.

I scowled. "And you were doing so well."

He chuckled. "Just kidding."

"Bullshit."

He winked.

I shook my head and looked over at the clock. My eyes widened. "Woah, is it really five in the morning!?"

Adrian blinked and checked his phone. "Ahaha, apparently so. Aren't you supposed to be at the gym right now?"

I grimaced at the prospect. "Oh, Killian is going to kill me…"

Adrian laughed. "Rest in peace, little dhampir."

"Thanks."

"Ah, I'm sure it won't be that bad. Besides, Belikov is bound to bail you out."

I felt my heart flutter and a wide and unimpeded smile crossed my lips. Only Dimitri could have me feeling like a fourteen-year-old all over again.

"Passing wind?"

And only Adrian could have me feeling like the world would be a better place without the male subspecies.

"I'm going to smack you."

He chuckled, but stepped away nonetheless. _Smart move, jackass._

I decided I should probably make a move in order to minimise the damages upon rocking up late to the gym. Thus, I rose, feeling remarkably awake considering I had basically been up all night. Heck, even if I had felt tired, it still would have been more than worth it. It would take a lot more than the wrath of Killian O'Hara to diminish the utter joy and contentment I felt upon seeing Dimitri _see_ again. I could not stop myself from smiling at the memory of his own beautiful, candid grin.

I was so whipped.

Shaking my head at the thought, I let out a loud sigh before frowning a little. "Did you ever work out how?" I asked.

Adrian looked up from replacing the lip to his decanter. "How what?"

"How he can see in his dreams."

Adrian pouted a little before shrugging. "Dreaming is a very visual experience, and it is often experience that defines a situation. Ergo, Dimitri can see."

"Huh…" I considered it for a moment.

He shook his head. "Rose, I am literally just making this up as I go along. I promise, I am as clueless as you are." he said. "Just a little better at hiding it." he added with a wink.

"Mhmm." I hummed. He chuckled. I shook my head again and stepped forward, pulling him into a hug. "Thank you so much."

"My pleasure, Rose." he said, planting a chaste kiss to my head before stepping away.

I closed my eyes and let out another sigh. "Right, now to face the dragon."

"Ah, fear not: it is the Welsh who have the dragon."

I opened an eye. "What?"

He paused, humour embedded in his countenance, as though waiting for me to get the reference. "Never mind."

I opened my other eye and headed out, bidding Adrian a farewell as I did. Walking through the halls of St. Vlads towards the gym, I found myself at peace for the first time in a long time. I had almost forgotten about the reason why I had come to see Adrian in the first place, and the fact that we were mid-crisis.

Emphasis on the 'almost'.

And just like that, it all came flooding back.

I mentally slapped myself for managing to ruin my own little state of contentment when I found myself replaying Adrian's words from mere moments before:

" _Dreaming is a very visual experience, and it is often experience that defines a situation."_

Given that even Adrian had just criticised his own thinking, I had no idea why it was echoing about in my head, but I felt myself repeating the last bit over and over:

The experience defines the situation. I felt myself almost reciting everything that had happened - all that we did not understand.

The experience. Images of Reed and Mason and Andre and Patrick filled my head, leading me to one thing:

The pain.

 _Their_ pain.

Father Andrew had described it as _alive_ \- a living _experience._ I could not fully account for what in Adrian's words had triggered an echo of Father Andrew's, but I felt something click in my mind as this new perspective offered a new explanation. The dead could not feel pain. How could they, since it was a _living_ experience? Thus, if pain could only be felt by the living, then only one explanation could suffice:

Whoever was doing this was trying to raise the dead.

* * *

 **:0 The plot doth thicken!**

 **Hello my dear comrades in Comrade :D**

 **HAPPY NEW YEAR! 2018 people: the year the Incredibles FINALLY gets a sequel! (so excited xD) I hope you've all had a fantastic festive season and I wish you all the best for the New Year. Frankly, I think we are due some joy, so I have got some high hopes for 2018. Classically, I've come up with a few New Year's 'resolutions' to keep me going ;) You'll note the inverted commas as I have yet to actually stick to any of the so-deemed 'resolutions' I declare on an annual basis, but I have a good feeling about this time round: bit of Russian every day and Bible in One Year here I come!**

 **In hindsight, I should probably add UPDATE BETTER onto that list as I am once again rather late (sorry chaps x) To those who have stuck with this story since its inception, I take my metaphorical hat off to you - your patience is something to be both noted and admired.**

 **Here we go though - first of the year: Like it? Love it? Hate it? I had a tremendous case of writer's block with this one, so slightly glad it is over. I hope it is worth it. Thank you all so much for your lovely comments, by the way - I genuinely wasn't sure about the last chapter, so I am thrilled to hear your enjoyed it.**

 **As ever, here's wishing you every blessing,  
** **Mariarty :)**


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy or anything surrounding it (but I do own** **this plot :D)**

* * *

RPOV

I skidded to a halt. No sooner had the thought crossed my mind did I find myself trying to align it with all the evidence we had as though it were some mathematical proof.

Trying to raise the dead.

What the actual fuck!?

It sounded almost so far-fetched that it could've quite easily set the perimeter for what could be determined 'far-fetched'.

And yet, it made sense.

Somehow, it fitted: it was perhaps the only thing that _could_ fit. The ghosts, the pain, Mason, Andre, Patrick and spirit's influence. Whoever was doing this was trying to bring back the dead - trying to bridge that threshold between our worlds and pull them out. Whoever it was was trying to reverse the very will of nature, for the act went against every fibre that made up the natural order

No wonder it bloody hurt.

And not just the ghosts, but the living too. Reed. Poor, poor Reed. I actually felt my heart lurch at the thought of what he must be going through. I mean, I had been an absolute mess and all Lissa had done was attempt to heal blindness - I could not begin to imagine the power required to bring someone back from the dead, not to mention the darkness that went with it. Added to this, that very same spirit user I now knew was also poking about in Lissa's head, doing God only knows what.

It suddenly became very apparent that we needed to find out who this asshole was.

I considered turning around and heading back to Adrian before remembering the reason I had left was because I was supposed to be training with Killian.

So, I resolved to go find Dimitri.

It was probably for the best that I delayed telling Killian anyway, given the involvement of his brother and how sensitive the subject was. Heck, I was struggling to think straight with the thought of all those poor people being denied their right to rest in bloody peace.

 _Mason._

My dear friend. _Oh, I am so sorry._ I ran a nervous and shaking hand through my hair, continuing to walk towards the Guardian's dorms. This was actually making me feel sick. Fighting back the tears, I made a silent vow - to Mason, to Andre, to them all - that I would stop at nothing to find out what the hell was going on and make it stop.

"Hannah!"

I looked up just in time to swerve out of the way of incoming person. "Woah, sorry there." I said, steadying myself a little and looking back towards the girl.

She didn't seem to notice me, instead speaking out to the empty space before her. "Hannah? You are not Hannah! Who are you!? Hannah!"

I made to walk away slowly, but the hysterics in her tone stopped me going too far. "Hey, you okay?"

She did not respond, instead staggered a bit further ahead of herself, out of the archway of the corridors and onto the green of the quad, pointing authoritatively at the empty square. "Where is my friend? Hannah, Hannah Skuza. Just tell me where she is."

I frowned and stepped towards her. "Hey, do you need…" I reached out to place my hand on her shoulder.

I jumped when I felt its dampness and it coldness. She snapped round, gasping as she did, and I got a proper look at her face. It was pale, almost white. Her eyes were a wide and crystallized blue that seemed to swell within their sockets. Indeed, her whole face seemed rather bloated such that she groaned and croaked everytime she breathed in and out of her ajared lips, each breath a greater struggle than the last. She had dark hair, the colour indeterminable by the fact that is was soaking wet and hung off her head like curtain drapes. Since it was not raining, I had assumed she had just come from the shower and her hysteria derived from the fact that she was probably high, but one look at her face - at her eyes which seemed glossed and unsightly, yet she was clearly seeing something - told me that this was far from the case.

"Hannah…?" she asked, reaching her hand out about five inches to the side of my shoulder. "Are you there? Hannah?"

I froze for a moment, somewhat at a loss for what to do. Staggering back a little, I decided to do the sensible thing and call for back-up. "Okay, just wait there - I'm getting some help." I said, not taking my eyes off her as I pulled my phone from my pocket.

"Hannah…? Hannah…?..." she mumbled over and over as she moved around aimlessly, her arms reaching around her as though she were wading through the air.

"Rose?"

"Hey, Dimitri - 911 in the courtyard. Need you, _now._ " I said into my phone. Not a second later had he hung up and I put it back in my pocket, eyeing the girl carefully. She was about my age, maybe younger. She was a Moroi to be sure, for not even the bloatedness could hide her slender and tall figure. Whilst it was a clear morning, it certainly wasn't warm; the sky remained dark, with dawn's arrival only hinted by the horizon. And there was a chill in the air - a deathly, cold chill. With this in mind, the girl's summery short skirt and t-shirt with jacket combo warreted a much warmer climate than the weather of the present early springtime, which only served to put her more out of place. I watched for a moment as she staggered some more, looking helplessly around her as though she were searching for something.

Or someone.

"Hannah…? Where are you? I can't see you? Hannah?" she whispered into the morning air.

I took a few steps towards her, following as she walked. "Hello there. Can I do anything to help? Whose Hannah?"

Again, she did not acknowledge me. I suspected she couldn't hear me, but I doubted raising my voice would do anything to help. No, she seemed completely unaware of her surroundings - me, St. Vlads, any of it. It was almost as though her senses and her consciousness were elsewhere, while her body remained here.

Not unlike when I went into Lissa's head...

"Hey! What's going on here?" I didn't have time to further think upon that thought when a voice caught my attention. I turned my head towards it to see a guardian walking towards me and as he got closer, I recognised him as Avery's guardian.

Sean? Steve? No, Simon.

Whatever his name was, I was somewhat relieved to see him. "Hi, I was on my way to the gym and I just came across her. I'm not sure what's wrong - I think she might be sick or-"

"I shall deal with this." He cut me off furiously.

I blinked, a little taken aback. "Oka-"

"Go inside. I shall deal with this." he said angrily commanded again. He pushed (well, more shoved) past me to get to the girl. Still a little thrown by his temper, I mouthed a 'wow' and stepped back towards the semi-outdoor corridors that lined the edge of the Academy's central courtyard. I was about to look back to see what Guardian Grumpy was up to when I saw Dimitri emerge from the guardian wing.

"Dimitri." I said, loud enough for him to hear, but not so loud as to elicit more anger from Simon.

Dimitri lifted his head and began to walk towards me. "What is it?" he said with no little severity.

"There is a-" I cut myself off as I turned around to see an empty courtyard. I blinked. "How in the hell…?"

Dimitri frowned. "Rose?"

"They're gone." I said, looking around in utter disbelief. It wasn't exactly a small courtyard and I'd only turned my back for about twenty seconds. _Where had they gone?_

"Who has gone?"

 _Ah._ I blushed, quite embarrassed that I had momentarily forgotten about Dimitri's blindness. "Sorry, there was girl: she was staggering about the courtyard."

"Drunk?" he asked, frowning a little.

"No." I said. "She looked..." I trailed off, struggling to find the words to describe her.

Dimitri, picking up on this, tried to help me out. "Was she a student?"

I frowned. "I think so. I mean, I'd never seen her before, but she looked my age."

"You didn't get her name?"

"She didn't say. She was looking for someone though. Hannah," I snapped my fingers trying to remember the surname. "Hannah Skuza." I said with one last snap. "She was wandering around until I nearly ran into her. Oh, and then Avery's guardian rocked up and kicked me to the kerb." I muttered a little bitterly.

Dimitri, however, looked a mix of confusion and horror. "Hannah Skuza? Are you sure that's who she said?"

"Pretty sure, why?"

He paused before answering. "Rose, Hannah Skuza is dead."

"What?"

"It happened about ten years ago. Both Hannah and her best friend, Rebekah-"

I snapped my head up. "Wait, her _best friend_?"

Dimitri hesitated. "Yes."

It suddenly hit me: bloated, damp, cold. "Did they drown?"

He frowned. "In the lake...How did you…?"

 _Oh my God._ I felt the blood drain from my body. "I think I'm going to be sick..."

I gripped my hand against his duster and doubled over. Dimitri caught onto my arm with one hand and wrapped his other around my waist to keep me upright. I gagged, but did not throw up, instead managing to steady the nausea through long and deep breaths. I felt Dimitri's palm against my back, fanned out and moving in small, soothing, circular motions.

"Breathe. Breathe, my love, breathe." he said. The combined rhythm of his voice and his hand put me somewhat at ease, but not entirely. I put a hand over my mouth and stood, leaning my body against his side. He wrapped his arms around my waist, continuing to trace patterns on my back with his fingertips. "Better?"

"No." I replied honestly, my voice cold and distant as I still remained in a state of shellshock. "I think I've just seen a dead girl."

Dimitri wasn't offended. "Another ghost?"

Another chill. Another wave of nausea. "No, a corpse. A living corpse."

At this, I felt the whole of Dimitri's person tense beside me. I think that it was on instinct that his hold tightened. "What?"

"The girl she was...soaked and swollen and cold. But she was real. As real as you are now. She was just walking around-" I corrected myself. "Well, she wasn't walking so much as she was _wading_ , as though through water." A shiver ran its way down my spine and with it I felt my body temperature drop as the chill set in deeper. The nausea returned.

I heard Dimitri swallow, but however shocked he may have been, his hands did not cease in their movements and with every revolution, I felt a little warmer.

I sealed my eyes shut, trying to block out the world and forget what I had just witnessed. But to no avail. Through the darkness, I saw her face and her fear. I opened my eyes, but her image did not leave me. I could still feel the dampness on my fingertips which; I tried to scrub it from my hands but like the blood-soaked hands of Macbeth, it would not seem to go away.

"Rose, I need to get you inside. You are shaking."

I hadn't even noticed that, for I remained far too focused on the rising sickening feeling inside my being. Nothing seemed to quell it and walking only seemed to make it worse. "No, no, no." I protested and Dimitri halted.

He ran his hand up to brush my hair from my face. "It's just a few steps. I promise."

I moaned a little, but complied. A few steps later, we were under the cover of the main building. Dimitri, working solely of his memory for I wasn't much help, guided me into the nearest tutorial room and shut the door behind him. Free from his hold, I clutched the edge of the large, rectangular table and gagged again. He had his hand back on my back in seconds, resuming its gentle motion while he whispered a soft melody in my ear. I was clueless to what he was saying given that it was in Russian, but it nonetheless calmed me a little and gave me something to focus on beside that of the face of decade-old dead girl.

When the nausea subsided to a more tolerable level, I lifted my head up and took a deep breath. Dimitri stopped his melody. I smiled a little. "Thank you."

He waved it off. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine, I guess." I said, still moderating my breathing. I brought my hands to rub against my face, groaning a little as I did. "Oh, who am I kidding? Sick: sick to my core." I said, letting my hands drop down as I slumped against the side of the table. "I know what they are doing."

Dimitri didn't need any further elaboration. "The spirit user."

I linked my arms together and held them to the back of my head to allow it to rest against them. "Yup." I said, popping the 'p' but with a distinct lack of mirth. "They are trying to raise the dead." I saw Dimitri's mouth open a little, the only indication of his surprise for he manage to stay remarkably composed after that sentence. "I was literally on my way to tell you when I saw her." I said, deadpan.

"Trying to raise the dead? You're sure?" he asked with an expression mixed with concern, disgust and scepticism.

I closed my eyes and replied with a somber: "Yeah" before bringing my arms down past my neck. "What was her name? The girl, I mean."

I saw the sympathy on Dimitri's face. "Her name was Rebekah. Rebekah Tarus."

Recognising the Royal name, my eyes widened. "Tarus? Shit." I said.

Dimitri nodded and folded his arms across his chest. "Indeed. It was kept very confidential, as you can imagine. The only reason I was informed about it was because it was part of the staff briefing a couple of years back for a training exercise on the lake involved."

I frowned. "I don't remember that."

A ghost of a smile flicked across his face. "You were not here."

I frowned for a moment before it hit me. "Ah." I said, realising his meaning. _Portland._ I felt my own lips twitch at the memory. Then I remembered Rebekah and all trace of the smile vanished. "How old was she?"

"Sixteen. Both Rebekah and Hannah." he said.

I felt my heart lurch. "So young…" He nodded. I bit my lip before asking, "What happened?"

Dimitri hesitated for a moment. I watched as his fingers drummed against his folded arm in that way they did when he was considering something. With a small sigh, he resolved and spoke. "It was an accident. A tragedy without a doubt, but an accident all the same. Hannah had fallen into the water and hit her head on something, knocking her unconscious. Rebekah ran in to try and find her, but slipped. They had both gone out on their own so they weren't found for another couple of hours, but by then it was too late."

I shook my head. I could even picture it: that summer's day, that split-second where it all went wrong. Two girls then gone forever. Well, not forever as it turned out. "Why are they doing this?"

"The spirit user?"

"Can we just call them an asshole?" I interjected bitterly.

I saw Dimitri smile a little as he shook his head. "Maybe they're looking for someone?"

"What? To bring them back?"

He shrugged a little. "If you found out you could bring a loved-one back, wouldn't you?"

"Not at this cost." I said definitely as I recalled the ever-growing list of those suffering at the hands of this asshole.

Yet to my surprise, he paused and shrugged again. "I suppose it depends on the perspective. People are known to do reckless things in the name of love."

I was about to respond with another bitter quip when it happened: I felt my heart skip a beat, a weight coming down upon me like a tonne of bricks from the sky. It was in that moment that I was hit, not by Rebekah, or ghosts or even the asshole behind this, but by something else entirely.

My own actions.

It was in that moment that the full magnitude of what I had done so many months ago hit me, and hit me hard:

 _Reckless things in the name of love._

"Like running back into a cave full of Strigoi."

I saw Dimitri snap his head up, my eyes meeting his sightless ones. "Rose, you are nothing like this person." He assured.

"But I could've been." I said, feeling my rapidly rising heartbeat in my ears. I remembered my mother, Stan, those other guardians whose names I did not even knew - all of them running back after me, risking their lives because of _me_. My heart rate rose again."Someone could've been hurt, or worse." I remembered Killian's chastisement: _you haven't learnt..._ _you don't get it...everything has consequences…_

"Rose."

With an increased heart rate came an increased breathing rate. _What if someone had died?_ I thought under a stream of hyperventilation. _How many people could I have hurt?_

" _Rose_."

Dizziness replaced the nausea, but I found myself incapable of stopping. _What if that same bastard who got to Dimitri got to any one of those guardians? Got to my mother…?_

"Rose, look at me." Dimitri had now unfolded his arms and brought them to rest on my shoulders. My eyes locked on his face. "I will not deny that what you did was reckless, but you are not the same as this asshole." he stated. "You know why? Because you ran into that cave _alone._ I know thatat no point did it cross your mind that you should endanger the lives of those around you for either of our sakes, especially mine, whereas this asshole has already _intentionally_ hurt people in order to achieve their goal. That is not love, that is malice. That is downright psychoticism. And what you saw with poor Rebekah only goes to show that they are not stopping for anything." he said. His hands reached up to cup my cheeks and he brought his forehead down to mine as he had done not two hours ago under very different circumstances, but the tenderness was unchanged. "Rose, there is no doubt in my mind that you would have let me die if your mother had been endangered or hurt trying to save me."

I froze, my breath hitching as I replayed the scene in my mind, reimagined now with having to choose between Dimitri and my mother. Horror filled my person as I pictured both their bodies lying limp and dead. "I am not sure I would've." I confessed, the words trembling with my own shame as they left my lips as I gazed upon an imagined yet impossible choice.

I saw his eyelids close and his tilted his head up to plant a kiss on my forehead. "Rose, do not deprecate yourself: you are a far better person than you think you are."

At that, I let out a grateful, but depleted laugh. "I'm glad you think so."

"I know so." he corrected.

I closed my eyelids, the act allowing a tear to escape my brimming eyes and fall down my cheek. "I don't deserve you."

I felt his smile against my forehead. "A wise woman once replied to that exact sentence with the eternal words: 'well you've got me, so deal with it.'"

I couldn't help it, I laughed: a proper laugh, but as I was still on the brink of crying it came out an odd mix between the two. His smile widened against my head. I reopened my eyes and wrapped my hands around his waist, pulling him closer. I made to rest my head against his torso when I noticed something odd. I frowned and pulled back the flap of his duster to confirm my suspicion. "You're not wearing a shirt."

As my eyes flicked upward, I'm pretty sure I saw him blush at that one. "Ah, yes, well...you did say emergency."

I laughed again and dropped my head down so it lightly thumped against his torso, feeling the warmth of his skin against my own. My laugh faded down into an exhausted smile. "I love you. So, so much." I said.

His fingers slowly threaded through my hair. "As you should."

I scoffed a little, lightly smacking his abdomen, only I could not bring myself to remove my hand once it had made contact with his smooth, but toned skin. Upon my lingered touch, I felt his stomach move - his muscles contracting away from my tracing fingertips with a quiet whimper leaving his lips.

"Ah, cold hands." he said, feeling his way to my wrist and prying my hand from his person.

I let out a small but devious laugh. "Totally deserved it."

He chuckled and scooted back to where he had been. I don't think I could ever tire of his embrace - it had always astounded me how someone as seemingly tough and stoic as Dimitri Belikov could be so gentle; how someone so quick had so much patience, particularly for me given the borderline hysterical state I found myself (justifiably so, I might add) in that morning.

Not unnaturally, he went quiet, but it took me a few moments to notice that there was something different in this silence. I looked up and found him looking like he had something on his mind. I was about to enquire when his phone interrupted us both. He, with an apologetic smile, reached into his pocket and answered.

"Belikov." he said in his usual formal and authoritative tone. "Ah, Guardian O'Hara."

I felt my body tense up at that. _Ah, shit._ As a result of everything that had happened over the past couple of months (not to mention all the crap that was still bloody happening), I had come to see Killian as one of my friends, forgetting what he actually was supposed to be.

I really hated having a babysitter.

"That would not be necessary: she is with me. I had suggested a lap of the field for this morning's practice." I won't lie, I was quite touched that Dimitri was bailing me out on this one. I smiled a little. "I assumed she would have had the good sense to inform you."

My smile faltered. _Huh, maybe not then._

I suspected I might've deserved that, but however valid it may have been, it still didn't stop me using my newfound weapon in response: I replaced my cold hand against his abdomen and watched as he tensed. Impressively, his voice remained level.

"Yes, I shall have a word with her. Thank you, Guardian O'Hara." he hung up and replaced his phone to the pocket of his duster. He scowled down at me.

"What?" I asked as innocent as I could.

Unsurprisingly, he wasn't buying any of it. Leaning down, he grumbled. "I hope you know, I will get you back for that."

I smirked. "I would expect nothing less." He chuckled and shook his head, before his face fell into that contemplative state once again. I frowned. "Hey, something on your mind?" He seemed a little taken aback at the question, flustered enough to warrant a substantial degree of concern on my part. "Dimitri, is everything alright?"

He cleared his throat. "Yeah, it's fine. It's nothing." He said, tightening his embrace a little.

I leaned back out of his arms, placing my hands on the table I sat upon. "You're lying." I said with an unintended pang of hurt.

I saw him hesitate. "I know, it's just…" he sighed and ran his hands through his lose hair.

I knew what he was doing. Clearly, he had something on his mind, something that was bothering him greatly and would benefit from being spoken aloud. I supposed he figured that now would probably not be the best time to mention it and maybe it wasn't, but what the hell: at _this_ point I doubted if anything would surprise me. "Dimitri?" I said, urging him a little.

"I don't think you are the only one being haunted." he more blurted than said.

It took me a few seconds, but I felt that was more as a result of denial for when I understood his meaning, I could not believe it. My eyes widened and I felt my jaw drop a little of its own accord. "What?"

So much for not being surprised.

He swallowed. "I am not entirely sure. I mean, I am not shadow-kissed like you are. I thought perhaps I did die, but then you said that they were being brought to life and-"

"Dimitri." I gently interrupted, for I knew he was rambling; he was always so eloquent with words, but they seemed to be getting the better of him here. I placed a hand on his sleeve and squeezed it softly. "What happened?"

He hesitated again, before relenting. "It happened just yesterday, before you came knocking for cookies." He said with a small smile. I squeezed his arm again. "I had heard a voice, one that I had not heard for a very long time."

"Someone who had passed away?"

"Ivan." he said.

I blinked. "As in _Ivan_ Ivan?"

He sighed, still smiling a little, and sat down against on the table beside me. "Yes, that Ivan."

Ivan: his friend, his charge, his guilt. I felt my heart lurch. "Oh my God, I am so sorry."

"I suspected it was just some misbehaving students, but…"

I bit my lip. "It was him." I finished his thought. He nodded, his body slouching over a little as though physically burdened by the topic. As I couldn't think of anything more to say than the cliched and ever-so-unhelpful 'I'm sorry', I decided to stay quiet, instead opting to lean against his side with the hope it would give him some form of comfort.

"He wasn't hurting."

I looked up. "What?"

Even Dimitri looked perplexed. "Ivan: he wasn't in pain like the others. I didn't really notice it before, but now that I think about it, he seemed just...surprised if anything."

I felt my eyes widen. "Are you sure?"

He nodded. "Confidently so. Tone doesn't lie, or so I have noticed."

I found myself frozen for a minute as the thought that I moments later voice crossed into my mind. "What if it worked?"

"What if what worked?"

I shifted as the discomfort rose within me. "What if the asshole actually managed to bring someone back?"

At this, Dimitri tensed; his whole body seemed to lock simultaneously and I immediately regretted voicing my thoughts. I was all too familiar with the guilt and sorrow incited from an encounter with a ghost, so I could well imagine the less than pleasant emotions swirling in Dimitri in that moment. I saw him bury his face into his palms, then pull his hands down so as to rest his chin upon their clasped platform. "Perhaps, but only for a moment: Ivan went as quickly as he came." he said.

Picking up on the subtext of his tone, I nodded, but did not speak. In spite of his grief, I suspected that Dimitri had come to the same conclusion as I about the event, how Ivan Zeklos and Rebekah Tarus were both in the same boat so to speak:

They were both practices.

God only knows how many more 'practice runs' the asshole was running, but there was no doubt in my mind that there were a fair few. I highly doubted that plucking someone from the Shadow World was easy, so a certain degree of skill was involved which of course meant practice. It sickened me even more to be thinking so logistically, but the logic was hard to ignore.

I let out a groan and flopped back, hitting my head against the table as I landed. "Ow." I said.

Dimitri turned. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I said once I stopped grimacing. My sore head was the least of our problems. "We should probably get going before someone comes in for a class. They might have a heart attack if they saw you." I said, still dejected and exhausted.

"Me. Why?"

I smiled a little. _Ah, screw it: we need a little levity here._ "You have a very lovely stomach, comrade."

I saw him tighten his duster over his front. "Oh." he said.

I laughed, tilting my head back the table and catching sight of my lose hair fanned around me like some sort of mane. It came to my attention just how rough the both of us looked and, in my exhaustion, all I could do was smile.

Clearing his throat, Dimitri spoke again. "Right, well, I suggest we go and locate Guardian O'Hara. He might get suspicious if we are not at the track."

I closed my eyes and groaned a little, realising how little I wanted to move. Then, of course, there was the other thing… "I don't really want to tell him."

Catching my meaning, Dimitri nodded. "You don't have to right away."

"I think he might notice if there was a dead girl walking about." I said monotoned and staring up at the ceiling.

"Had you not said she had gone?" came Dimitri's somewhat confused reply.

"Oh, yeah." I said, remembering back before frowning myself. "Where did Steve go?"

"Steve?"

"Yeah, Avery's guardian."

I saw him cock a brow. "Do you mean Guardian _Simon_ Harthorn?"

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, him. He came and-" I cut myself off. A second later, I sat up rigidly, peaking Dimitri's concern.

"Rose?"

"He said: 'I'll deal with it.'" I said, thinking back to that brief encounter: his anger, his directness, his purpose all leading to one conclusion: "He knew."  
Dimitri frowned. "He knew what?"

"He knew who Rebekah was, or more significantly _what_ she was."

"Rose, he is a dhampir." Dimitri pointed out, catching my train of thought. "He cannot be a spirit user."

Images of the scene replayed in my head, but one thing came up above them all: _his anger._ "He's another bondmate…"

"What?"

"Simon. He's shadow-kissed, just like Reed."

Dimitri frowned. "To the same person?"

"It's got to be."

"How is that possible?"

"Honestly, spirit is so mental I am more than willing to bet that there is no limit to how many people you can be bonded to."

"But then we are back again to who is that bondmate?"

I paused and considered. "It's got to be a Lazar. I mean, they've only been here what, two months? Surely _someone_ would've noticed if two of their party had been killed at some point during that time."

"It can't be a Lazar, though: the headmaster is earth user, and Avery is water."

My head snapped up.

My heart jumped a beat.

"Dimitri, Avery is air." I said, though there was no authority in the comment for I was expecting _, begging_ , him to contradict me.

And he did.

"No, I am sure she is water user: Guardian Moore and I were on a patrol and we passed her putting out her brother's fire."

If my it could detach itself from my skull, my jaw would've have just smashed itself on the floor. "She's been telling everyone she's an air user, heck I'm pretty sure its in her file-" I stopped and felt my eyes widen as I realised. As per protocol, all senior guardians were expected to have read the files of students who were either newly enrolled or already existing ones who were considered 'problematic' (yes, that included me). The way that patrols worked was they had to have one senior and one junior guardian in any one pairing. Given that Dimitri was a senior (and the fact I had never heard of him), Guardian Moore must be a junior meaning he had no jurisdiction or clearance to read Avery's or indeed anyone's file.

And then there was Dimitri himself…

"You never read it."

Dimitri smiled softly. "I don't read a lot nowadays."

His blindness: he _couldn't_ read it. Alberta had no doubt given him the edited highlights, but it must not have included her speciality given that the greater threat to the Academy's security was her 'party' lifestyle. Her speciality was unknown to him, giving him a uniquely objective and unprejudiced viewpoint.

In short, he hadn't seen the lie she had created.

I fully believed I could burst with affection in that moment. Rising to my knees, I straddled his lap and kissed him hard, using the long collar of his duster to pull him closer. He was surprised to say the least, but didn't object. However, I didn't give him time to settle into it before pulling back and breathing heavily. "We've found our spirit user." I whispered.

Dimitri, having recovered from my unexpected assault, swallowed. "You're sure?"

I nodded, biting my lip. "It has to be her."

And I was sure of it.

Avery Lazar was a spirit user.

* * *

A(drian)POV

I found myself waking up for the first time in a long time. Sure, I had passed out on occasion, but that hardly counts. Besides, insomnia was just one of the many things that made up my charming self. Well, that is at least how I had grown to accept it.

But, on occasion, I did manage to fall asleep and on that rare occasion, waking up always seemed such an unusual sensation. The light of the setting sun had penetrated past my blinds and soaked my room in a deep and burnt orange glow: the whole room looked as though it was on fire.

It was beautiful.

 _Some say the world will end in fire…_

I smiled as the line entered my head. Robert Frost was hardly my favourite poet and the poem itself annoyed me to no end given that it quite literally had no end. Yet for all its inconclusiveness, I could still appreciate its sentiment. Closing my eyes, I shifted and stretched out my back. With the feel of the sheets against my body, I determined I was naked. Amused, I opened my eyes and looked across my bed.

The night's events came flooding back: me lounging about, the chess game, Rose. Honestly, it was one of the most enjoyable evenings I had had in a very long time.

Not least for the boost that it gave my ego.

Even after Rose had left me to go get hot and sweaty with the Irishman, I was still on a high. Reeling in my victory, I felt untouchable, invincible and smug: the day could not get any better for me…

And then came a knock at my door.

At first, I thought it was Rose and so was a little disappointed when it was not the brown-haired beauty. But I was quickly compensated when she put her tongue down my throat and said the ever magical words: _I want you._

Well, what is a man to do?

Perhaps I could have handled it differently, with more grace, respect and decorum, but then again, when a woman has her tongue down my throat and her hands in my lap, I was hardly expected to be thinking with my head _._

Did that make me an asshole? Probably. Did I care? Nope.

With a shake of my head and a small chuckle, I rolled over onto my side and began running my fingers down her spine. The act cause her to stir and I saw her eyes open with a devious glint in them.

"Good morning, Mr Ivashkov." she said, propping her chin up with her arm, causing her spine to curve and the covers to fall further down her body.

I grinned. "Good morning, Miss Lazar."

* * *

 **Hello my dead comrades in Comrade :D**

 **Well, like it? Love it? Hate it? The closing in on Avery begins… Also, only two weeks since last update - not bad, huh?**

 **Apologies for the angst-iness of this chapter - I didn't intend for it to be quite this gloomy, but I felt a certain level of gloom was indeed required. Actually, thinking back over both my other stories (Cold as Ice and Love, Labour and Loss) it has become quite apparent that I have not exactly been a jolly writer, and this one is at a whole new level of gloom. Huh… Maybe I'll make my next one a massive fluff-bomb just to even it all out xD**

 **You find me on the ultimate day of the Christmas break for tomorrow it is back to Uni. Mixed feelings, mainly because Russian is so blooming difficult and I will confess to not doing as much as I probably should have over the Xmas break…Eh, I'm sure it'll be okay. Besides, I'm really looking forward to my history course this semester, so keeping it optimistic! :D**

 **Well, here's wishing you chaps all the very best and I hope to speak soon,  
Mariarty x**


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: I do not own Vampire Academy or anything surrounding it (but I do own this plot :D)**

* * *

RPOV

They say when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Me? I ask why the heck have I been given lemons in the first place. Usually, the lemons in question are pretty menial and, as such, the answers are pretty simple. _Why am I always late? Because I prefer sleep than go to Stan's lecture._ Sometimes, the lemons are a little more complex and often lack a full answer, but it is usually okay as the matter is not that serious. _Why isn't the printer working? No idea, but I'll just re-send it and use another one._

And then there are those lemons that are not so much given as forcefully chucked at you, requiring a substantial amount of counter-force to stop them from causing any serious injury.

Yeah. This was definitely one of those.

Not that I minded: beating the crap out of things was kinda my forte.

"Rose, this is a serious accusation." Dimitri, following the retrieval of a shirt from his room, stated as we walked with quick stride through the corridors towards the track.

I matched his pace. "We don't have time to prove it."

"Not prove, confirm." he amended. "I know you think her to be the one we have been looking for, and I understand your concern surrounding her involvement with Lissa, but you cannot run at her blind."

I first nodded and then shook my head. "I know. It's got to be her though. And we can't lose this advantage we have over her." Her ignorance of our enlightenment was hardly going to remain as such for long.

"Get Ivashkov. What little I understand about Spirit, I know it leaves a mark, and it is one that he seems particularly partial to." he said.

"He's probably still asleep." I said, thinking aloud more than anything. Then I remembered. "Oh, shit: Killian."

"I can fill him in."

I shook my head again, the act accompanied by a slight sigh as I fully remembered what I was supposed to be doing that day. "No, I'm supposed to be doing community service this morning and I think Father Andrew might just be the person we need right now. Or at least his library." I said, casting my gaze up to Dimitri. "You find Adrian, I'll take Killian."

I saw his countenance tenderly fall into one of sympathy as he, as ever, picked up on the subtext of that particular comment. "You're sure?"

I nodded. "He should know." Part of me wanted to spare Killian the thought of his brother possibly being painfully dragged back into the world of the living, yet I knew that lying would only make it worse.

A small smile graced his lips and he nodded. "Alright, I shall find you later." He gave my hand a gentle squeeze before letting go.

I let out a light groan. "No rest for the weary, huh comrade?"

He chuckled and threw me a smile over his shoulder. "All good things come to those who wait, Roza."

And with that we parted.

I found Killian quickly: the Irishman running back and forward between the eight lanes of the track, stopping only as he noted my approach. I took a breath before stepping forward to greet him. I had had a lot of difficult conversations with people over the years, but telling a man his late and beloved brother was being used as a veritable guinea pig for a twisted crusade was perhaps the hardest. Killian, for his part, took it as well as he could, but I could not help but note how the pain flashed through his moonlit eyes nor how his posture sank as I told all that we suspected.

"Why?" he asked as his eyes drew away from his fiddling hands in order to look at me squarely.

I could feel my heart clench. "We think she might be looking for someone."

I saw his eyes shut. He looked away and nodded. "Understandable."

Placing a hand on his forearm, I replied, "To a point." He reopened his eyes. "You've gotta draw the line somewhere."

He scoffed a little. "Oh, I wasn't disputing that." He muttered, I think more bitterly than he intended. I watched as he brought his hands up to ruffle through his hair in exacerbation, his brown locks frizzing to peaked mess, but I doubted if he cared. "You're sure it's her?" I could see the doubt playing across his features.

"It has to be."

A smile ghosted his lips. "You aren't sure." he said with a nod, turning towards the gym bag at the edge of the track.

I sighed and walked around in order to re-enter his eyeline. "Not completely, but sure enough. Killian…" I hesitated over my next words. "...you are going to have to trust me on this one."

He raised both his eyebrows. "Trust?" He said, looking at me incredulously.

I was expecting refusal. I was expecting anger. I was expecting a full fledged rant about how such a thing was not only impossible, but insulting. And it would have been perfectly justified - I would have completely understood. Since this whole thing began, I had hardly done much to ilicite a 'trusting' relationship. I had _certainly_ done enough to warrant the opposite, even to the extent where I had thought that I had lost his trust for good.

And so it was to my surprise that when I, in that moment, asked for his trust, he just let out a tired laugh. "Rose Hathaway: you've got balls, I'll give you that."

I eyed him nervously. "Does that me you believe me?"

He shrugged. "I'm honestly not sure what I believe anymore, but I know when someone is lying to me and for all the times that you have done so, I know you are not lying to me now."

"Thanks."

"It wasn't a compliment."

"I gathered."

He laughed before slumping the bag over his shoulder and letting out another sigh. "So, what's the plan then? I am assuming you've got one."

I grinned. "We're going to Father Andrew."

He frowned. "I wasn't aware community service was the Shadow-World-messing-spirit-user's kryptonite."

A rather significant part of me was happy that he was still cracking jokes. I knew him well enough to know that it was a coping mechanism of sorts for him: attempting to bring a bit of levity in order to counteract the heaviness of a dark situation. Thus, I played along and I shot him a playful glare as we began to make our way across the field, but to campus. "Funny. But it is more about his books - Father Andrew is the only one who has anything which remotely relates to what is going on and we need to find more information: we cannot run at her blind." I said, echoing my beloved comrade's words.

I saw Killian glance over at me, his eyes narrow and contemplative before a recognition of sorts filled their green depths. "You know, Belikov really is a fantastic influence on you."

I narrowed my eyes again. "Ha ha."

"That _was_ a compliment."

"Oh, hardly."

He chuckled. "My apologies."

"Mhmm." I hummed. "Whatever happened to your 'plausible deniability'?"

He snorted. "Oh, that is long gone. Pinocchio would do a more believable job lying about the two of you than I could." I couldn't help the slight smile forming on my lips. "Where is he anyway?"

"He went to find Adrian."

Killian gave me a nervous look. "Is that wise?" he asked as I suspected he was relaying all the less than amicable encounters between the pair that he had witnessed over the past few months.

I waved him off. "It'll be fine: they are both adults."

He turned to face forward again. "I'm not so sure about that one…"

I felt myself inwardly groan as I forgot Killian wasn't exactly Adrian's biggest fan either. _Honestly, why was it so difficult for him to be likeable for just five minutes?_ "He really isn't that bad."

"Do I have to trust you on that one as well?"

I shook my head, a small smile forming on my lips. "It would make things easier, but I suspect that that one might require something a little stronger than trust."

He chuckled. "Your suspicion may be correct there."

I rolled my eyes. A few seconds later, I saw a familiar face striding down the corridor in the opposite direction.

"Rose, good morning." he said with a smile, in my opinion, disproportionately big for the time of the day.

"Eddie!" I replied with a somewhat smaller smile of my own. "It is and it isn't, I'm afraid." I said. "Sorry, we're in a bit of a rush." I would've loved to stand and chat, but I felt a degree of urgency was required given the severity of the the present situation.

Eddie followed without question, frowning a little as he did. "Oh? The day hasn't even started yet - how bad could it be?"

His actions caused me to smile, but his question turned it to a grimace. "We think we know who the spirit user is."

"Ah." Eddie said with a slight nod. "Yeah, that might just do it." he caught Killian's gaze behind. "Oh, crap, man: how are you doing?"

Killian responded with a polite, but brief nod. "I'm fine, thank you for asking." Clearly, he didn't fancy elaborating any further.

Eddie, catching the aforementioned meaning in his tone, replied with equal courtesy. "Of course, anytime." His eyes flicked back to mine as we moved into the courtyard, a slight shiver making its way down my back as the memory of Rebekah still lingered in my forethought like an undiffused scent. "Dare I ask who it is?"

I eyed him with some concern. Eddie was not overly trusting of those he did not really know, but nor was he overly suspicious: what I was about to say was undoubtedly going to come with some degree of surprise. "Avery."

Eddie blinked a little, before his brows furrowed and his eyes narrowed. "As in _Avery_ Avery?"

I grimaced again, this time not as a result of recent traumatic memories, and nodded. "That's the one."

He continued to stare at me, then his eyes shifted slightly to Killian who gave a slight nod. "Shit." Eddie muttered, looking ahead. "So all that air stuff was just…" he trailed off.

I nodded. "She was using water when Dimitri was on patrol."

He raised his eyes. "Wait Belikov saw-" he cut himself off, his cheeks turning bright red. "Oh, not saw, obviously, I didn't mean...I meant…"

I gave him a small smile and helped him out before he really started to panic. "Yeah, he was walking past her."

He nodded, his cheeks still lightly tainted as the embarrassment hadn't quite subsided. "What are we going to do?"

"Well, at the minute, we're headed to the chapel's library to see if we can't find any more info on the matter." Part of me doubted that Vlad and Anna had underwent an experience such as this, but they were still the only relatively dependable source we had, so I was hoping for a miracle.

The one we got was not exactly what we were expecting...

"Sorry, what do you mean you don't need our help?"

Father Andrew chuckled. "I was as surprised as you were, Rose. But I'm afraid I have no need of your services today - a very kind young man volunteered to do it all by himself."

"Someone volunteered to peel gum off from under pews on a Saturday morning?"

I heard Killian's chuckle. "Some people are just nice, Rose."

I scoffed. "Or deranged."

"Rose." Killian warned.

Father Andrew chuckled and shook his head. "I will make no judgements on his mental state. Though I will say that he is upstairs, should you wish to perform your own analysis."

My eyes flicked up. "Upstairs?" I said carefully.

A small glint shimmered in Father Andrew's eyes; his features softened - the wrinkles on his aging face creasing like a cushion in the gentle grasp of a child's hand. "Yes, he says he finds it comforting."

I smiled. I knew exactly who it was.

The clock had struck the hour of a new vampiric day when we found Christian Ozera slumped against the wall, a tennis ball in hand which he absentmindedly flung against the cold, stone ground to bounce off the opposite wall and come back into his hand, under the shadowed light of stain-glass and candle. Christian wasn't exactly known for his amicabilty, but he seemed particularly hostile as he continued to glare at the wall he was beating with the ball. Meeting Killian's eyes, I saw him nod and we went over.

"Go away, Rose." he said when I entered a five metre radius of his person.

Ignoring his request, I plonked down next to him and followed his gaze to the wall. "Nice view."

I heard him grumble something incoherent, but decided it was probably for the best that I didn't hear it.

I considered how I was going to play this. On the one hand, he was clearly upset and the normal thing to do was offer sympathy and kindness. On the other hand, this was Christian: a man who could destroy the nicest sentence in the world with his sarcastic powers, resulting in no improvement on the overall situation. Thus, I resolved to deal with this in a way familiar to us both.

"You look like shit." I said.

He scoffed, catching the ball and turning to scrutinise me. "You aren't exactly a ray of sunshine."

"I've been up all night. What's your excuse?"

He both grumbled and threw the ball again. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Yes you do." I said.

"Oh yes, I am _dying_ for a discussion - that's why I'm here, surrounded by so many people."

I briefly flicked my eyes up to Killian and Eddie. "Three is a crowd."

I saw Christian glower. "Shut up, Rose."

I paused, but only for a moment. "Is it Lissa?"

Christian caught the ball, but did not throw it again. Instead, his fingers tightened round the fuzzy, green sphere - the tension spreading throughout his person. "Partly."

"And Avery?" I prodded.

"Rose, I don't want to talk about-"

"She's the spirit user."

The ball dropped from his grip and bounced weakly across the creaky wooden floor, eventually rolling it self into the shadows and out of reach. Christian snapped his head round. "What?"

"Avery is our spirit user."

His eyes locked with mine and I saw the fire burn deeper. _"What?_ "

"Apparently, she's been playing us all, mate." Eddie said, slumping down onto one of the empty boxes. He looked forlorn and a little dejected as he spoke. I suspected that his naturally optimistic and hopeful personality was inhibiting him from fully processing this betrayal.

Christian acknowledged Eddie's troubled person with a brief look, before his eyes glanced to Killian for affirmation. "She's doing this?"

Killian didn't look that much more certain, but he nodded all the same. "We believe so."

Christian raised both his eyebrows. Momentarily speechless, his eyes scanned the room once more, before resting on me. "Does Lissa know?"

I shook my head. "No."

Immediately, Christian found his way to his feet. "What!? Why haven't you told her!? Do you know how much time they spend together? What if something happens to her!?"

I jumped up beside him. "I know. Which is why we need to act fast."

"And do what!?" he shouted. "We needed to act _months_ ago! Now Lissa won't listen to any of us: she's forgotten Eddie, hates you, dumped me-"

I felt my jaw drop. "Lissa dumped you?" I interrupted. _That explains the mood._

Christian glared at me. "Oh, that is hardly the biggest issue of the hour - _she could be killed,_ Rose."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Killian edge forward to pull Christin away in the event his anger manifested more physically, but there was something nagging within me. _She wouldn't. She wouldn't. She wouldn't._ It was a feeling more than my own conscious - like a whisper - telling me not to let it go. "Lissa would never dump you." I said, a frown consuming my face as I tried to reason the fact, but no amount of rational would quell that _nagging_.

Christian, for his part, just looked at me like I was an idiot. "Rose: get your head out your ass. Lissa and I have not been good for months, and while, yeah - I am quite upset - my feelings can be postponed until after we sort this shit out. What we need to do..."

 _Rose._

I turned my head, not really hearing a word Christian had said past 'ass'. I knew then that it wasn't just my mind, for in the dim light of the attic stood a very familiar face:

"Mason."

He was as he always was, at least in his ghostly faded figure which had haunted me so often. Yet, his pain - the thing that had started it all - remained. His eyes hung heavy as though he wanted to cry, but no tears could fall. Christian, Eddie and Killian all halted as I spoke his name. They could not see him, but he could them and I watched as Mason glanced so pitiably at them all and raise a shaking hand towards Eddie, towards his best friend.

"I'm sorry." I choked a little as the words came out.

Mason's face turned to me and his smile fought through that barrier of pain, and with it came a fragment - a vestige - of the Mason that had walked these halls so long ago. ' _She wouldn't._ '

His voice was clear. Clearer than any ghost had been before, so much that it had caught my off guard. "Lissa." I said, my eyes wide and alert.

I saw him nod. _'It isn't her.'_

A sense of deja vu rested upon me: _this isn't you._ "The darkness. But how-"

Mason cried out, cutting me short. He refocused and shook his head. _'It. Isn't. Her.'_ He gasped, lifting that shaking hand to slam his fingers against his temple over and over, like a woodpecker knocking at a tree.

 _Knock. Knock. Knock. It. Isn't. Her._

Suddenly it clicked. Every encounter, every outburst and most of all: that night when I went to see her - the force that forced me out...

"She's in her head. Avery is in Lissa's head."

Out of the corner of my eye, I could see the varying reactions of my peers, but they kept quiet. It was at that moment I realised that Vlad and Anna weren't going to help us - after all, what did they know about being a ghost? Yet to ask a ghost? Given the immense amount of pain that I had found them all in, I very much ruled against interrogating an already suffering friend.

And yet, here Mason stood: fighting until the very bitter end.

He would have been a great guardian.

 _No._ I felt my heart-rate rise as my head lifted higher, locking fully on my departed friend in front of me. He _is_ a great guardian. And right then, as he stood in front of me, fighting both his pain and the never-ending pull of the Shadow World seeking to drag him back to death, he was a damn hero.

"Guardian Ashford." I said, a small smile forming on my lips as I did. "Who is she looking for?" I asked the question that I believed would break this case wide open.

He brought his hand down and with a small glint in his eye, he forced himself upright and said:

' _Everyone.'_

* * *

DPOV

" _All good things come to those who wait, Roza."_

I found myself with a small smile on my face as I walked through the winding corridors of the Academy. I had often joked that I knew these halls so well, I could walk them blind - as it turned out, it was a skill that very much proved its worth. As such, it was with little difficulty that I found the notorious Ivashkov's room. With a firm, yet mindful of the other rooms neighbouring, I knocked on his door and stepped back a little. It was a strange friendship that had developed over the past few weeks, one I had certainly not expected, but had come to value quite significantly.

Regardless, it was still strange to be knocking at his door in the middle of the night. Part of me was almost glad that I couldn't see what scene would lay in front of me as he opened his door. However, such is reality, what actually happened was that my shock was only delayed for seconds longer than it would have been.

"Guardian Belikov? Well, this is certainly unexpected."

Not even I could have hidden my surprise at the sound of her voice. "Miss Lazar?" For what little it was worth, I did managed to keep the chill that ran down my spine and the anger that boiled my blood from making themselves known to my outside features. Instead, managing to maintain a reasonable degree of composure in saying: "I was looking for Adrian."

"Oh, you've just missed him, I'm afraid." she said, her voice sweet and light.

I frowned. "It's six o'clock." I said, feeling no need to elaborate on my confusion.

"I know." she said, the slight inflection in her voice at the end of that sentence conveyed a subtle hint of victory and mockery in equal measure. "You are up and about…" she pointed out, following my implication.

"I am a guardian, Miss Lazar."

"Are you actually a guardian?" she asked with genuine curiosity; a gentle thud in front of me told me that she was leaning against the doorframe, I assumed also with folded arms given the slight brushing sound that followed.

I responded carefully, but surely. "Yes."

"But you're blind."

"I am aware of that."

She laughed. "Well, yeah, obviously! I'm just surprised that they let you continue, you know, being handicapped and all."

I elected not to allow that to provoke me. "We all have our crosses to bear."

She hummed. "Ah, for sure. Though I'm guessing that Rose really fought for you."

"Excuse me?"

"Rose - you know, the one that ran back in for you, the one who volunteered to train you. She must reallylove you."

An alarming sense of dread thundered through me. "Miss Lazar, this is highly inappropriate-"

"Would be a shame if something were to happen to you."

I halted. _Did she just...?_ I elected to answer carefully. "Yes."

"I mean, given that you've come so far - it would be a shame if you did anything to screw that up." she added, popping the 'p'.

Again, I replied carefully. "Indeed, but a guardian's life is not his own."

I heard her snort. "Oh, spare me the nobility. Everyone is selfish."

I frowned a little at the sharpness of her tone. "I am sorry you think that." And I meant it. She was after all, still a young girl and even with all her faults which seemingly bordered on psychotic, or perhaps very much as a result of them, she was one that clearly had experienced a severe degree of pain in her own life. And even as I felt her sneer on me, there was still a part of myself that pitied her.

"Adrian is not here." she said, straightening up.

I could tell I had annoyed her, for I was not the only one with a facade. Evidently, she was done playing games. "When will he be back?"

"No idea."

"This is his room."

"Yeah, but he left."

"Where did he go?"

"I don't know. Do I look like his mother?"

"I imagine not." I said.

I heard her scoff again. "Oh, 'boo-hoo - I'm blind'. Get over yourself, Belikov."

I ignored her. "If you do manage to see him again, please do let me know."

"And why would I do that?" I could sense her smile in her tone.

I hid back a smile of my own at the somewhat familiar combination of pettiness and childishness. Maybe this attitude had worked for her in the past, but unfortunately for Avery, I had spent the last few years training one just as confrontational. "I am a member of staff and I am asking you to."

She laughed. "My dad runs this place - what power do _you_ have over me?"

"Every. You are a student."

"I am the headmaster's - your boss' - daughter."

"That is of little consequence." Particularly because the head of school had no real decisive authority over the guardian department.

"Really? I could get you fired."

I resisted a smile. "No, you could not. Power is not hereditary."

"What about monarchy?"

"And how many of them are left?" The words left my mouth before I could stop them. My surprise followed suit, but I knew I couldn't take them back so instead just let out a small groan.

I imagined her responding look as I heard her exaggerated intake of breath before she spoke. "My, my, Guardian Beliov…" she said, somewhat sickenly. "It's nice to finally meet you."

I frowned at her meaning. "Forgive my im-"

"Don't apologize." she snapped. "Never apologise for passion. Nothing comes from hiding behind a mask. Everyone is selfish, and it would be better if we'd all just admit it. We all have something we want, but most of us are too cowardly to actually get it-" She halted, more sharply than a person would normally when coming to the end of a sentence. I knew why. I did not respond, but I had heard it - the quiet whimper.

Adrian.

He was right there. I suspected that Avery knew I had heard, so had to act both carefully and swiftly. Feeling a shift in the air between us, I deduced she had taken a step back and was ready to slam the door. I stuck out my hand and blocked it, keeping it open. She laughed. "Do I have something you want?" She said, pushing against the door with all her might.

I released my hand a little, causing her to stumble, before forcing the door open fully. "Sorry, I am no coward." I muttered in her direction. I heard an excited three-syllabled murmur which I assumed both belonged to Adrian and was supposed to be my name. I lifted my head, just as Avery replied.

"No, just a fool."

The fall followed the pain and then, I felt nothing.


End file.
